aaaaaiiiiieeeee Posted February 4, 2007 Posted February 4, 2007 So I'm filing for divorce from my wife (NY state). We've agreed on settlement terms ourselves, we have no kids, and we've agreed to make it an uncontested divorce, and hence not use lawyers...I guess representing ourselves. So I've been doing NC for a almost a month now. She has kept emailing me and calling regarding some joint account and bank issues and then just to see how I'm doing or if there is anything I need. My replies are concise and friendly, but still business like. In her last message to me she demanded to know exactly when the papers come in so that we can go to court together. Now my question is this, since we're doing the divorce ourselves and it is not being contested is there any reason why we would have to appear in court together? My point is I really just don't want to see her ever again. As I understand it I file at the clerk's office, sign the necessary forms getting them notarized. I hire a process server to serve her the papers. She acknowledges signs or whatever and sends them back (I guess files her portion). She's waived her 30 day time to file a response so then I file the agreement we've made regarding our assets, debts, property, etc. Then since it's uncontested we don't need to go to court and the petition would be ruled on by a judge? Poof we're divorced (I know there is a mandatory waiting period). I mean is this pretty much the way it is?
Ladyjane14 Posted February 4, 2007 Posted February 4, 2007 If there's a court date, you'd probably be best served to go ahead and attend. Your settlement isn't legal until after the judge signs it. I know some folks who had their settlement changed while they weren't present to argue it. You can't defend your position if you're not there.
Author aaaaaiiiiieeeee Posted February 4, 2007 Author Posted February 4, 2007 I don't think there will be a court date set insofar as appearing before a judge. But then again this is the first time I've ever done this (and hopefully the last as well). So if anyone has experience with uncontested divorce situations and whether you have to actually be together with your spouse in court for any reason please post
polywog Posted February 4, 2007 Posted February 4, 2007 My xH and I did the same thing you are doing in MA. We were assigned a case number and a time to appear before the judge. We had to appear together because the judge needed to look us in the eye and ask if each one of us if it was settled to our satisfaction. Yes, it sucked to have to stand there with him, and there were a few other sad looking couples there doing the same thing. I think you should probably expect to have to do this, too. You could call the court office that deals with divorces and ask. I recommend that you bring a good, compassionate friend or family member with you for moral support and do something nice for yourself after the hearing. Good luck, and I think you'll find that it's going to be a relief to have it behind you.
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