Guest Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 I have a problem that needs a quick and helpful advice. I'm in a relationship with a guy. We are together for almost half a year, but recently we discovered that we have got to the stage when we dont get that thrill we used to and that things we do dont give us so much excitement as in the begining. I myself understand that this happens when relationship mature and get to the other level, but for him to understand and get used to it gets very difficult. Besides, try a lot to make our relationship as interesting as I can by trying to surprise him and stuff, but he just has this mood swings, like one day everything is perfect and the other day he thinks of a break up, now we are in a kind of trial time (we decided not to see each other for a week in hope it will help us to improve our relationship). We are both busy and face a lot of stress while studying and getting ready for exams and stuff. I guess this can be one of the reasons we got cold and besides not long ago my boyfriend went on a month trip, so I didnt see him for a whole month, though we kept in touch everyday and he says that that month effected him a lot because after it he noticed those changes in our relationship. I dont know, but I put really a lot in improving this relationship, keeping it and making him happy, but his mood swings and seeing his unhappy face now makes me think if it wouldnt be best to break up. We are both lost, though we still have strong feelings for each other, love each other a lot and intimate life is perfect... Would be really greatful for any advice. Thank you...
norajane Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 If you have to do so much work to keep him, is it really worth it? Don't you want someone who is as interested in making this work as you are? My advice would be to go along with what he says. Agree with him. Tell him he's right, and you don't feel so great about the relationship because you have to do so much work and he's not really making the kind of effort he used to make to keep you happy. Agree with him that you need time apart so YOU can consider if you want to keep working so hard to maintain this relationship. Maybe he just doesn't appreciate what he has, and will wake up when he realizes HE isn't the one calling all the shots. YOU have the option of leaving him and if he sees that, he might realize he's not pulling his weight. If he doesn't realize it, then you're better off letting it go. You deserve someone who wants to be in a relationship with you as much as you want to be in one with him.
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