UnicornGirl Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 So, my boyfriend of almost one year is studying abroad in another country, close to the ocean. He's living his dreams! I am so happy for him, but I definitely miss him, and I'm trying to think of the perfect gift for V-Day and our anniversary, which is also in February. I debated flowers, etc. but something about it just feels unspecial. I did however, in my online searching, find this great gift company in his country that offers "experience" gifts. He's said his great dream is to see a great white shark while he's abroad, and one of the gifts offered by this company is a cage-diving experience where you get to get in the water with them! It also happens to be prime shark season starting in February, and the name of the bay where the experience takes place also happens to be the same as a nickname I have for him, which I haven't used since he went away in December because I've been saving saying it for the first time while we're apart for a special occasion! So, he would get a coupon in a box, essentially, that he could redeem for this experience anytime while he's abroad for the next 5 months. He hasn't had a reason to give me his address yet, so I've contacted a guy he lives with to ask for their address so I could have the envelope delivered to him and it will be a total surprise. My questions are basically just to get feedback and reassurance, since this would be a big gift. It would be about 200$ total to buy it and have it delivered, etc., and I am a student struggling to support myself financially but would definitely go out of my way on this one. Does it seem like too much, sappy, or overboard to you guys, or really romantic and perfect (which is what I want it to be)? Is it weird and impersonal to just get this coupon in the mail, essentially, rather than flowers and candy or something? Also, this is something he won't tangibly HAVE on V-Day, since he has to contact the company and reserve the time he wants to go on the adventure. Also he would probably be going with a group of people he doesn't know, though he's the kind of guy that would be cool with that I suppose, he's dived before (though with friends). Does that seem all right? Any thoughts, advice? Should I try to also send him something else? The one major advantage of this is it would definitely get there RIGHT on V-Day, as it's a local company, rather than trying to deal with the international mail. Your thoughts are welcome, and I'm happy to provide V-Day feedback for all you longing, long-distance lovers out there too! Best wishes to you all, and remember to love yourself too!
Pink Amulet Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 Wow, my opinion: You are putting waaaaaay to much thought in to a commercial, and quite frankly superficial day. Anyway, just imagine how guilty you would feel if it all went wrong.... if you ask me, sharks aren't to be messed with. In fact a man was just attacked by a shark today about two hours away from me.
Author UnicornGirl Posted February 3, 2007 Author Posted February 3, 2007 I'm asking for opinions and advice, not judgment of my values. Ouch. Way to kick a hopeful dreamer while she's down! Try being away from someone you truly love for almost a year -- at least for me, this situation makes things like "superficial" holidays become really fun, special occasions to find creative ways to show that I care! I'm sure others here understand. He's coming to visit me in June for no reason, completely out of his way, completely frivolous expense, but it means the world to us to have that time together! And regarding the shark thing, it should be fine, there are trainers around, you're only in the water with them for half an hour and like I said, he's a diver and into this kind of thing. I am a romantic and I'm never going to change. I just want to find a way to give him a happy experience while he's away, rather than something I feel doesn't matter at all, and Valentine's Day is just an excuse to do something special. I mean, I of course would flip for a rose or two, but past relationship experience tells me a guy might appreciate a fun experience or something personally meaningful instead of a bunch of pink stuff. Maybe I'm wrong?
Green Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 Send him something like a heart felt letter with some candy, he may cherish the letter 4ever if you write it good, and send a cute picture of yourself along with it. You shouldnt spend all that money, like you said your strugling and I think he woulld enjoy a long Kissy Kissy goo goo I miss you a luv ya letter and some candy alot it would be a good suprise.
taiko Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 I think its a great birthday gift. For Valentines Day it seems way overboard. Especially for someone struggeling, unless you are in the Paris Hilton class and define struggle differently then I.
Rilla Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 I agree: Wow! It is an amazing gift and I'm sure that your boyfriend will absolutely love it. I can't believe people are giving you such a hard time about it. Here's the thing-- it *is* very expensive, but I know how difficult it is to give him the gift you'd want to when you're in an LDR. If money is an issue at all, ask yourself whether you'd be giving him a $200 prezzie for your 1-year anniversary if you were NOT in an LDR? If the answer is no, then you might be going overboard just because there's not a lot of choice as to the gift. If you're willing to make the sacrifice, though, I have no doubt that he'll adore it and be very appreciative. It's a lovely gift and it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into it. Two other things to consider-- a) is it feasible for you to go to down to see him as a present instead? Plane tickets can often be gotten at a discount if he's not too too far away. I'm sure you've considered this though. and b) will he think you expect such a big gift from him as well? I mean, he's going to feel awful if you get him this massive gift and he gets you a pretty sweatshirt from his university? Another option would be to just get him a gift and Fed Ex it to him. It's much simpler, probably cheaper and he'd have something concrete to open on V-day. I have to admit, it does lack the "WOW" factor of your shark expedition idea.
chryssy83 Posted February 4, 2007 Posted February 4, 2007 Maybe this is "inappropriate," but what kind of gift are you expecting from him for V-day/anniversary? Did he get big gifts for your birthday and Christmas? Does he have more money than you do? Has he hinted about anything or brought up the fact that Valentine's and the anniversary are coming up?? Is he sentimental or more the type to forget about it and send an e-gift card at the last possible moment? Not that you should gage your gifts on what he spends/does, but you want to know that 1) it'll be appreciated and 2) it won't make him feel bad.
Author UnicornGirl Posted February 4, 2007 Author Posted February 4, 2007 Thanks for your responses. It's not only Valentine's Day, but our anniversary, so I've made up my mind to keep thinking and just do what feels right. Thanks again.
Island Girl Posted February 4, 2007 Posted February 4, 2007 As someone in a long distance relationship I understand completely where you are coming from. For a Valentine's Day gift it still would have been great -- but a combo anniversary gift as well, -- I think it is a must. As far as the cost goes, I suppose everybody forgets how much you would spend on 5 months of coffee, movies, dinners, etc. that you would normally be spending together. $200 isn't much in comparison. It is a gift he'll cherish forever and isn't the gift supposed to be about the other person? How they feel as in making them happy without the thought of what we get out of it? I think he'll be really happy and that alone sounds like it will make you really happy. Everybody wins! ha! When it's long distance sometimes we each have to go the extra mile so we stay connected.
Guest Posted February 4, 2007 Posted February 4, 2007 You gotta take a big chunk of an idea on that one! Bite that is. Oh maybe the posts say it all... Sorta like still waters run deep, eh? Have to admit, what a grand idea? Not one to 'jump before you look' has me thinking though. In a cage? hmm, sure that is enough protection? I mean those guys have sharp teeth! And ugly~ Big! Well, maybe a few cocktails may ease you up a bit. But then again, don't d[r]ive and drink! Ha! I have to say, that sure is a first one. Sounds verrry exciting. Some people come up with all the first times.
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 I think thats a BRILLIANT gift. I did a very similar experience for my ex-bf (not ex because of the gift lol) and he absolutely loved it - he said it was something that he would talk about for the rest of his life and that everytime he talked about it he would always think of me. Go for it
ShoeGirl Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 I think that you have a great idea!! I wish I was that creative when I was in a LDR... I never came up with something that seemed so perfect. I would go for it if I were you. Hopefully he will realize how much effort (and money) you put into this gift and return the favor later you'll have to let us know what he thinks!
Guest Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 I bought my ex two coach bags, an ipod and took her on several trips during college. The best thing I can tell you to do, is to spend what you feel is ok, without putting yourself in a bad financial situation. You should determine what is an acceptable amount based on your own income. The truth be told, you won't keep him or retain him with gifts. So bigger isn't exactly better, it can show love but the other individual almost never views the gift in the same way you do. So, he is likely to love the trip based on your post. However, is he going to remember that you gave something up to make it happen? Nope not likely. Coming from someone who took two girl friends two Mexico and Costa Rica. If you can't afford it, then don't do it. Just show him you care by your actions.
Sweetie2007 Posted February 16, 2007 Posted February 16, 2007 I'm asking for opinions and advice, not judgment of my values. Ouch. Way to kick a hopeful dreamer while she's down! Try being away from someone you truly love for almost a year -- at least for me, this situation makes things like "superficial" holidays become really fun, special occasions to find creative ways to show that I care! I'm sure others here understand. He's coming to visit me in June for no reason, completely out of his way, completely frivolous expense, but it means the world to us to have that time together! And regarding the shark thing, it should be fine, there are trainers around, you're only in the water with them for half an hour and like I said, he's a diver and into this kind of thing. I am a romantic and I'm never going to change. I just want to find a way to give him a happy experience while he's away, rather than something I feel doesn't matter at all, and Valentine's Day is just an excuse to do something special. I mean, I of course would flip for a rose or two, but past relationship experience tells me a guy might appreciate a fun experience or something personally meaningful instead of a bunch of pink stuff. Maybe I'm wrong? personally, being someone who has had their loved one 5000 miles away for up to 17 months, I think it is perfect! Did you end up giving it to him for V-Day like you wanted to? If I had ever found anything as perfect as that for a gift, I definetly would have given it to my man, no questions asked. Unless, of course, I couldn't afford it. The money is always the problem... . Good luck, stay strong with the relationship, its not always easy, but once your back together, its like magic!
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