hopeto Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 I know I have posted so much in the past. you will have to read over them. but I have not gotten alot of replys back, however the ones I have I am taking heed to. and I am thankful that they posted. I am having a tough time. my so says he is done. he pointed again that I am fat and I weigh 150 pounds soken wet and I have large brest and I am about 5/2. the reason I look so big is I am top heavy and there is ten pounds right there. anyway he has belittled me for 18 years got cought looking at porn and then got cought looking at child porn.he is addicted and it has taken over the marriage, of course I am fat when he is looking at kids ages 9-14. I do love him and he keeps giving me mixed signals about wanting me to leave or not. so I asked him again. it is a cut and dry yes or no. of course it was no and he wanted to end it and that he needed no help cause he was a man and could work it out on his on. his exzact words..men are different than women we dont need shrinks. I give up. he is 37 and talks about beating people up all the time and how he knows karate and can break someones arm or even kill'em just childish stuff.I was trying to work on the marriage if he went and got help but of course he listens to all the neg. and says he dont have a problem. he treats me like dirt under his feet and always has. he thinks women are put here to serve men. and I should work go home cook clean do clothes and take of the kid along with all the other things like taking her to karate and soccer. I have driven myself to the hospital numerous times. one was I had to have emg. gal blatter surgery cause I lost so much weight in a 6 mth period. DUE TO HIM.he said that he does not care cause I dont so why should he drive me to the hospital? he really got caught cause he said he was happy in 2000 and and before that but I drove myself to the hospital when I was pregnant with our child. I was there alone and the news that it was a tubal and I had to have the shot to disolve the pregancy. a child I longed for for ten year+ I was ther alone cause he said he had to work. he did fianly show up but not till later. and that following monday I had to go to emg surgery cause the shot did not work and my life was in jeporday. he was there but did not want to be. why do I even still care. he dont. and he is very open with his felings. he thinks he is GOD's gift to women which he is not. he has flaws. Big long nose, he is skinny and no meat has ugly feet and chicken legs. and a small wonder where it is thing. I could be mean and say all this to his face and degreate him too but I have not. and I have not in any of the years we were together. Maybe I should start to be mean. but it is just not in me. how do I keep from hurting. as the old saying goes suck it up and go on. HOW???? I am trying but is there an eaiser way. and his nasty remarks. thought I would try again to change. NO AVAIL, he still satyed the same and picked apart something else. I have decided to do what I need to do. I am movein out and I am going to make it on my own. I have a great job not much money but a job. I can pick my daughter up from school and bring her back to the office with me. it is not hard and my boss does not hover over my head. they are christian people and I love'em. I made the last stitch effort to try to get him to see. NO AVIL. so I am going to go about my bussiness. I just hate it for my daughter. I am hurting though my heart is breaking but I will get stronger and I will heal and I am told that I will see that I deserve to be loved and wanted and desired by my husband. I know he has email account thru g-mail but dont know how to get it and he is hidding alot of other things I know it. just like one that posted to my account. I am sure that what I know is only 10% of the iceing and then I still have the cake to. I will find someone who will treat me good and love me and my daughter and she will love them back. it will be hard for the first year or so but hey we all have tough roads and if I drive stright enough then there is bound to be a cross road. Thanks for the ear. I really need to know that if you have been in a long term relationship and now you have a happy ending.
Guest Posted February 4, 2007 Posted February 4, 2007 Good for you. Keep your head up and in due time you will see the picture you painted for us all so clearly. Get out now...you are wasting your time on this man. He is not good. Chin up.
notmakingsense Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 The best thing you can do for your daughter is to give her a live full of love, caring, and no drama. As you know, you don't need a man in your life to create a nurturing family oriented life for her. You and she deserve nothing but the best - so never settle. Being alone is better than settling for a loser. You won't attract quality men until you are happy being an independant single mom. It is the losers that pray on the needy -- so never be needy. One day, you will look around and feel happy without a man. That's the day that the good men will start noticing you.
polywog Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 The best thing you can do for your daughter is to give her a live full of love, caring, and no drama. As you know, you don't need a man in your life to create a nurturing family oriented life for her. You and she deserve nothing but the best - so never settle. Being alone is better than settling for a loser. You won't attract quality men until you are happy being an independant single mom. It is the losers that pray on the needy -- so never be needy. One day, you will look around and feel happy without a man. That's the day that the good men will start noticing you. That is great advice! I think that you are brave to even think about leaving and making a better life for yourself, and your daughter. Your daughter doesn't need to see her mother being bullied by a mean man, watching her mother getting belittled and treated worse than dirt. Once you leave, even if it seems hard, your strength will draw good things into your life. I know this because this has happened for me, even though I don't have children. He does not deserve to have a good woman like you, or to make his child watch her mother be treated the way he is treating you... better for her to be alone with her loving, strong mother who made a brave choice, teaching her to stand up for what's healthy. It sounds as if your employers will be supportive, don't be afraid to ask people for help. Good Luck, and keep posting whatever you decide, so people can give you the moral support you deserve. That you are even considering getting out is a great step that you must feel proud of!
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