DyingHeart Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 I've had it. I'm not going to be sweet talked to by him anymore. "Oh, I still want to be your friend". Screw that. Yea, I love him, and yes I want him back, but I'm not going to wait around with false hopes. I'm not going to jump back into something and feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I know he loves me, but I can't deal with it anymore. It hurts everyday, and it will continue to hurt, but dammit, I'm tired of it. I've already found the career I want to persue. Criminal law. I have it set up already and I'm going to get this degree, and make myself happy for once. Then, when I'm able, I'm going to move from this state and leave all this crap behind me. There is nothing but heartache here. And not just from him. A lot of stuff happened and I'm just so tired of trying to hold myself together and everyone else in the process. I'm tired of my brother and sister in law trying to put guilt trips on me because they lost their house due to drugs and alcohol. I'm tired of trying to help my niece get her life together so she can keep her baby. I'm tired of living at home with my alcoholic father and mom who can't stop arguing for the life of them. Yes, all those factors played a part in him breaking up with me. To answer another persons question, I never cheated on him nor him me to my knowledge. It's a terrible feeling to love someone unconditionally for so long only to have him break my heart. He's a good guy and I love him so damn much, but I can't wait forever for him. Granted it's only been almost 2 months since the breakup, but I can't go on like this. It will take some time to get my degree, and in the meantime, if he wants to reconcile, that that's fine with me, but for now, I'm not holding my breath. I cry a lot, I think about him all the time. It's hard not to when everything I have is connected to him in some way or another. I know it's going to take longer than 2 months to heal from a 7 year relationship. I know I'll have good days and I know I'll have bad days. Hopefully I'll start to have more good days soon. If he never comes back, fine. But, I'm certainly not going to get into another relationship with anyone for a damn long time. I've been through too much with my ex to want to do it again with someone else. Ugh, anyway, sorry for the rant, but I had to vent, lol.
justagirlforever Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 It sounds like you've come to realise: enough is enough. No more. Well done As you already know, 2 Months (8 weeks) is nothing (in terms of time to get over a 7 year relationship). Give it a bit more time. I'm at my 3 month mark now (of a 4 year relationship and someone I believed was THE one - loved deeply and unconditionally through our relationship - but never received the same in return), but I feel completely different now. In fact - completely over him (which surprised me). And I too have enrolled and am going to start studying towards a degree in Criminology and Psychological Studies. It's great that you have plan. Decided what you want to study. And going for it. And you're right - you can't possibly even think about another relationship now. Enjoy your singledom. Re-establish old friendships and make some new ones. All the best
MotherGooze Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 You sound angry, but I think this is a good thing>. You've come to realise that this is YOUR time now> You have plans so go for it, look forward to all those things and do them !!
Author DyingHeart Posted February 3, 2007 Author Posted February 3, 2007 Oh yeah, I'm angry. This is how I've always been when I grieve. I'll be in denial, then a blubbering mess, then I get angry. It's the anger that always motivates me to do somehing positive. See, in a way, it's almost like he died, and I grieved him as if he were dead. I know it will take a long time to get over him. I cry sometimes, thinking about what could have been. How a week before the break up we were laughing and having a good time. *sigh* One day at a time.
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