YoMomma Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 If she doesnt know then she will eventually find out....like I said if he wants me and our son then he is going to have to have a life with us...so he will have to tell her something... Bella... he doesn't have to want you to have a relationship with his son. Dad's have rights... and actually considering how much money he has and his so called status - he may decide to file for full legal custody if he really...really wants his son. He also has the choice of only paying child support and refusing to have anythng at all to do with both of you (which would be sad for the child). Put it this way, all of the adults in the screwed up triangle have a choice. to make... sadly, it's the innocent who have to live with the decisions they've made!
pricillia Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 How exactly did you get pregnant - if you didn't allow it? How long have you known MM?[/quote] You still haven't siad how long you've known MM... and when you became serious. Sorry YoMomma, But bella, I would not even answer this, gosh... I wish you the best I truly do, but I think your over abundance of details needs to stop...
Author bellababygirl Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 And what if he doesn't want you or your son or a life with you? He wouldn't be the first man to give up all parental rights to a child born outside his marriage. He doesn't have to tell her anything - he just has to pay you off to keep quiet. He doesnt want to lose me...I have offered him to walk away. He doesnt want another man raising his son. So, I dont know where it is going to end...but i hope to share the ending with the forum soon. It is exhausting...so, hopefully his Valentines Day Long talk and surprise will yield some type of results! I have to agree to let him give up his parental rights...that would never happen as I dont feel I have that right to give away rights that belong to our son!
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 She's been involved with the MM for less than a year.
Author bellababygirl Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 How exactly did you get pregnant - if you didn't allow it? How long have you known MM?[/quote] You still haven't siad how long you've known MM... and when you became serious. got serious about 3 months into dating...been together longer than a year...
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 got serious about 3 months into dating...been together longer than a year... You said in one of your first posts that it was less than a year.
Author bellababygirl Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 Bella... he doesn't have to want you to have a relationship with his son. Dad's have rights... and actually considering how much money he has and his so called status - he may decide to file for full legal custody if he really...really wants his son. He also has the choice of only paying child support and refusing to have anythng at all to do with both of you (which would be sad for the child). Put it this way, all of the adults in the screwed up triangle have a choice. to make... sadly, it's the innocent who have to live with the decisions they've made! Everyone has choices...but, from his actions none of the above seem likely. But, we will see soon.
Author bellababygirl Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 Sorry YoMomma, But bella, I would not even answer this, gosh... I wish you the best I truly do, but I think your over abundance of details needs to stop... That member pushes but they are not getting exact dates...
YoMomma Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Sorry YoMomma, But bella, I would not even answer this, gosh... I wish you the best I truly do, but I think your over abundance of details needs to stop... Pricilla - No need to appologise to me, I didn't ask you the question. Its obvious Bella doesn't want anyone to know how long her 'serious' relationship with MM has been going on - not sure exactly why but that is her choice. Perhaps she's only known him for four months or so - I can't imagine it's been that long considering he's so well known, ya know!
Author bellababygirl Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 You said in one of your first posts that it was less than a year. We have been talking for longer than that...but I dont want to give out specific dates on when we got serious...Yomamma tends to ask a little too specific of questions...i dont like the digging for irrelevant info... I met him on an online website for singles so I was very skeptical. I never dated anyone from a website before...it began with emails for quite some time before I would even consider talking to him....even then I wouldnt give him my number...so he gave me his and asked me to call him whenever it was comfortable for me...etc. etc. etc.
Author bellababygirl Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 Pricilla - No need to appologise to me, I didn't ask you the question. Its obvious Bella doesn't want anyone to know how long her 'serious' relationship with MM has been going on - not sure exactly why but that is her choice. Perhaps she's only known him for four months or so - I can't imagine it's been that long considering he's so well known, ya know! I answered your questions
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I am 32 years old. Dating him close to a year... So, you only knew him a few months before getting pregnant? I'm not surprised that his first reaction was to try to get you to have an abortion that he was going to pay for. Guess he'll be stretching out that payment for the next 18+ years instead.
YoMomma Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 got serious about 3 months into dating...been together longer than a year... So, you only knew him a few months before getting pregnant? I'm not surprised that his first reaction was to try to get you to have an abortion that he was going to pay for. Guess he'll be stretching out that payment for the next 18+ years instead. They were talking about having babies in a few years, can't imagine why he was shocked when she got pregnant ...oooops!
Author bellababygirl Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 So, you only knew him a few months before getting pregnant? I'm not surprised that his first reaction was to try to get you to have an abortion that he was going to pay for. Guess he'll be stretching out that payment for the next 18+ years instead. No, we knew each other longer...we were sleeping with each other more than a few months...but I am not going to pin that private detail down for anyone...
pricillia Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 This is what I think. His wife probably suspects something going on, and if she doesn't I really don't think that she would be too suprised to find out, just call it a feeling. Bella you are in pretty deep at this point with the pregnancy and all, and even though you have strong feelings for him, this may be just one big game to him, he probably is seeing other women in addition to you and his wife, men like that need an escape from all the pressures so don't be surprised if he continues to see other women without the family attachment. I know that you love him but just try to think of the situation from a different perspective... ok
Author bellababygirl Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 This is what I think. His wife probably suspects something going on, and if she doesn't I really don't think that she would be too suprised to find out, just call it a feeling. Bella you are in pretty deep at this point with the pregnancy and all, and even though you have strong feelings for him, this may be just one big game to him, he probably is seeing other women in addition to you and his wife, men like that need an escape from all the pressures so don't be surprised if he continues to see other women without the family attachment. I know that you love him but just try to think of the situation from a different perspective... ok Trying to keep my eyes open for all possiblities...but he has to take some type of action soon (certainly before our son is here) to keep from losing me...
pricillia Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Trying to keep my eyes open for all possiblities...but he has to take some type of action soon (certainly before our son is here) to keep from losing me... Well for now just worry about you and the Baby and your other children... You can not force someone into making a decision when they are not ready, things would probably be different if you were not pregnant... Do not worry so much about how he acts and what he does to soften you up again to get him in your good graces, Just think about you and the baby and his future, If MM would like to have you in his life then just continue being strong without him... Are there Friends and Family that know what is going on in your life?
Author bellababygirl Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 Well for now just worry about you and the Baby and your other children... You can not force someone into making a decision when they are not ready, things would probably be different if you were not pregnant... Do not worry so much about how he acts and what he does to soften you up again to get him in your good graces, Just think about you and the baby and his future, If MM would like to have you in his life then just continue being strong without him... Are there Friends and Family that know what is going on in your life? Yes, but very few...I dont discuss it in depth like I do here. Family tend to be more pushy on subjects than forums...
YoMomma Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 No, we knew each other longer...we were sleeping with each other more than a few months...but I am not going to pin that private detail down for anyone... Heck it doesn't matter if she slept with him on her first date or her third, after all she's pregnant with the MM's son - and like it or not - the W will just have to deal
YoMomma Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Yes, but very few...I dont discuss it in depth like I do here. Family tend to be more pushy on subjects than forums... I am sure your family and friends have all met him, after all you have known him as your single boyfriend for a year and were so serious and all - I am sure they think he's just the greatest guy!
Author bellababygirl Posted February 9, 2007 Author Posted February 9, 2007 I am sure your family and friends have all met him, after all you have known him as your single boyfriend for a year and were so serious and all - I am sure they think he's just the greatest guy! They are divided...based on his immediate future actions
pricillia Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 They are divided...based on his immediate future actions Look why the heck is every one so suprised about this, I am not saying that it is right but the fact is that this happens out there with married couples and non maried couples, now I am not talking Jerry Springe status.... things like this happen... It is not going to any good torturing bella because there was a mistake that was made by both parties... after all she did not know that he was married and now that she does she will deal with it. It does not look like she is going to kick him to the curb now if at all. Lets not put all the blame on the woman.. she has some tough decisions to make and will make them in her own time, Look all women know that when there is a man involved we think with our hearts first and not with our minds... I am not talking about thinking about libido at all, lets leave the sex part out of it, for women it is more emotional, and some men as well. Most women in this situation think with thier hearts and that is what keeps us around heck most women in any relationship if in love think with thier hearts. I would though like to know men in this situation are accepted more than a woman in said situation... I mean OM... he is seen a little differently.. Any way....
norajane Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Look why the heck is every one so suprised about this, I am not saying that it is right but the fact is that this happens out there with married couples and non maried couples, now I am not talking Jerry Springe status.... things like this happen... It is not going to any good torturing bella because there was a mistake that was made by both parties... after all she did not know that he was married and now that she does she will deal with it. It does not look like she is going to kick him to the curb now if at all. Lets not put all the blame on the woman.. she has some tough decisions to make and will make them in her own time, Look all women know that when there is a man involved we think with our hearts first and not with our minds... I am not talking about thinking about libido at all, lets leave the sex part out of it, for women it is more emotional, and some men as well. Most women in this situation think with thier hearts and that is what keeps us around heck most women in any relationship if in love think with thier hearts. "Self-delusion is the sincerest form of lying..." The trouble with self-delusion and denial is that reality has a way of sneaking in and biting us in the ass. Bellababygirl has spun a lot of long, detailed threads here in the short time since she's joined LS. While I'm sure there are kernels of truth in her story, there are a lot of things that are jarringly out of place. That she has no anger and the only the deepest love toward a man who lied about everything inculding his very name; that despite this deep, deep love she has for him, she is amenable to the possibility that he may have OOW's around the world; that she is blithely imagining he will somehow start spending more time with her, less time making his billions, and no time with his wife; that she imagines having more children with this man, and decades together to raise them...if she doesn't start thinking with her HEAD instead of her HEART, all of this self-delusion and denial is going to sneak up and bite her in the ass HARD, and she will not be prepared for it at all. She came here for a place to write and for support. What kind of support would she be getting if everyone just told her, "there, there, babygirl, it's all going to be ok, keep believing the most unbelievable of illusions"? She needs to take those rose-colored hope-smeared glasses off and start looking at reality with a clear mind. Just because most women think with their hearts in this sort of situation, whatever the true situation is, does not mean thinking with her heart is the best thing for her or her children. In fact, that's what got her into this mess, so maybe, just maybe, she ought to chill out with the heart a little and use her brain.
YoMomma Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 I am sure your family and friends have all met him, after all you have known him as your single boyfriend for a year and were so serious and all - I am sure they think he's just the greatest guy! They are divided...based on his immediate future actions "Self-delusion is the sincerest form of lying..." The trouble with self-delusion and denial is that reality has a way of sneaking in and biting us in the ass. In fact, that's what got her into this mess, so maybe, just maybe, she ought to chill out with the heart a little and use her brain. Just what are immediate future actions??? She isn't listening to her close family and friends, she is certainly not going to listen to anything she reads here!
tinktronik Posted February 9, 2007 Posted February 9, 2007 Just what are immediate future actions??? She isn't listening to her close family and friends, she is certainly not going to listen to anything she reads here! Nah', Bellas already taken advice she reads here . She seems a decent girl in a bad sitch . She I think will see a way out of the connection to this MM , reguardles if it's right now or in six months . however as she is having his child , he'll be around in some form or another . She does not view the A in the same way I've seen a lot of other OW view it . I think she just got in over her head is now pregnant and is trying to figure it out .
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