Star Gazer Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 I was out a couple weeks ago at a pub having some beers. One of my guy friends, A, had his friend (also male), B, meet us there. I was a little buzzed and flirting with A, I don't really remember chatting up B. By the time I wake up the next morning, B had sent me an "add friend" request on MySpace and sent me a message. We've spent the past like 2-3 weeks flirting via MySpace - I'm afraid of stating the details, but it's very obvious he's flirting and interested. He's asked me to meet him for drinks and lunch, but I haven't been able to join him as his invitations have been very last minute. But anyway, he asked for my phone number - why??? Generally I'd kinda just offer it up, like "Hey call me..." but for some reason I haven't done that with him. The fact he hasn't asked by now is new to me... is it weird?
johan Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 Hey, Star Gazer. Why don't you take a break from gazing at the stars and those three losers you wrote about long enough to write down your number for me? I'm sure we could find a way to keep each other occupied enough to forget about all our problems for a little while. Feel better?
Author Star Gazer Posted February 2, 2007 Author Posted February 2, 2007 Hey, Star Gazer. Why don't you take a break from gazing at the stars and those three losers you wrote about long enough to write down your number for me? I'm sure we could find a way to keep each other occupied enough to forget about all our problems for a little while. Feel better? Yes, actually, I do!!!
Author Star Gazer Posted February 5, 2007 Author Posted February 5, 2007 Wow, that confidence is really HOT!!! Any chance of me getting those digits too Star? *nudge nudge* :laugh:
milvushina Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 Maybe it's just not his preferred method of communication? Personally, I hate talking on the phone. It always feels awkward. Even people I have been friends with for 10+ years, I'd rather email or message or see in person than call. With the advances of technology, it just gets easier to ignore the phone, and as a result the phone seems like more of a pain. I guess if it bothers you, you could ask him that... "You don't like talking on the phone very much, huh?" Because obviously he does like you. But I can see why that would seem weird, since to most people it's standard that you have phone chat when you start dating. It never seemed to bother very many guys that I didn't like the phone chat. ha ha.
Salicious Crumb Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 Maybe he knows you date too many guys at one time.
Author Star Gazer Posted February 5, 2007 Author Posted February 5, 2007 Maybe he knows you date too many guys at one time. Oopsie! Wonder if he reads here... hehee. But he's still asking me out, just via email/MS message or in person. I just don't understand his aversion to the phone, and I'm being stubborn not just giving my number to him.
Salicious Crumb Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 Oopsie! Wonder if he reads here... hehee. But he's still asking me out, just via email/MS message or in person. I just don't understand his aversion to the phone, and I'm being stubborn not just giving my number to him. Maybe because he also dates too many people at the same time and doesn't want you calling when he is putting it to someone else.
Kamille Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 I'm thinking he just finds asking you out via e-mail/msn a lot less threatening then asking you out on the phone. I know I find it easier to ask people out by msn-email. Since he's offered a few meetings and you were never able to make it, I think he would find it very encouraging if you offered him your number.
the_total_package Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 he picks up the PHONE! If he was super into you, you really blew him away, he'd be calling. It is good that you didn't go out with him when 1. he is asking you out via messaging and 2. he isn't putting any effort into asking you at least a few days ahead of time. Last minute dates to get together means he's not really that into you because he's not arranging a special time to see you. It's not too late (possibly). What you need to do is not flirt with him over messaging anymore. If you respond to his messaging, and you definitely shouldn't be doing that every time, make it very brief as you are a very busy and occupied girl so if he wants to see you, he'll need to CALL you and make a date with you. Have you read that book He's Just Not That Into You? Totally applies here!
Pretty Fly Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 he picks up the PHONE! If he was super into you, you really blew him away, he'd be calling. It is good that you didn't go out with him when 1. he is asking you out via messaging and 2. he isn't putting any effort into asking you at least a few days ahead of time. Last minute dates to get together means he's not really that into you because he's not arranging a special time to see you. It's not too late (possibly). What you need to do is not flirt with him over messaging anymore. If you respond to his messaging, and you definitely shouldn't be doing that every time, make it very brief as you are a very busy and occupied girl so if he wants to see you, he'll need to CALL you and make a date with you. Have you read that book He's Just Not That Into You? Totally applies here! I'm not certain that that's good advice. You're reading into it way too much. Maybe his phone is broken!! If I'd been chatting to a girl on MSN or whatever and suddenly she starts to be curt, short and not flirty anymore, I'd assume she wasn't interested anymore and move on. I think the fact that he's being a bit tentative is because he's not sure what you think of him or whether you're interested in him or not, especially if last time you saw him you were flirting with his mate. You need to give him a carrot to pursue. Next time he's on MSN or he emails you, reply with something along the lines of: "Hey, I'm not keen on this msn/email thing, I don't get time to reply properly. Call me." If you like this guy, cut him some slack. Don't be so tied to a list of "he should do this and this and this or else he doesn't like me". Reserve that judgement until you've at least been out with him. All guys are different and approach things different ways depending on their previous experiences.
the_total_package Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 a guy who is really interested makes the effort. Period. Or you don't want him anyway.
Pretty Fly Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 a guy who is really interested makes the effort. Period. Or you don't want him anyway. Life isn't always so black and white
suchislife Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 That book is so generic... I think he's scared. Just see what happens.
Pretty Fly Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 a guy who is really interested makes the effort. Period. Or you don't want him anyway. Just thinking some more about this... the guy has made an effort. Maybe not the "right" effort in the eyes of the OP. But you have to remember that guys communicate in different ways than women. All I'm saying is be open-minded and don't discount him just because he's not doing something you expect.
Arianna72 Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Is it just me who is getting really sick of hearing about that stupid book. Things in the real world are just not that simple. There are all sorts or reasons why he may not have asked for your number. My suggestions would be to simply tell him to give you a call sometime and then give him your number and see what happens.
Topper Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Look at your calander pick a day when you do have some free time. Now text message him, You ask him out! If your calander is anything like mine it is no longer on the year 1959. Mine says 2007 what does yours say? Girls are no longer required to sit home by the phone wishing and hoping sitting and praying oh why won't he call.
the_total_package Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Women who follow the Rules DON'T sit by the phone waiting for him to call. they are out having fun because they have lots of interests and get off their bums and go out and enjoy life!!! That is why men love them and they are worth pursuing, they are more fulfilled, fun people that guys want to be with and are refreshing. if he doesn't call, HIS LOSS. THese women aren't sitting around analyzing men's behavior because they don't have to! In fact, if he calls, the woman is out having fun and probably won't answer so you'll have to call again to catch this fun, special woman. NEXT if he is too wimpy to make an effort to call me, he just wasn't into me anyway, and I don't want a guy who just isn't into mt.. Look at your calander pick a day when you do have some free time. Now text message him, You ask him out! If your calander is anything like mine it is no longer on the year 1959. Mine says 2007 what does yours say? Girls are no longer required to sit home by the phone wishing and hoping sitting and praying oh why won't he call.
Grrlish Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 he picks up the PHONE! If he was super into you, you really blew him away, he'd be calling. It is good that you didn't go out with him when 1. he is asking you out via messaging and 2. he isn't putting any effort into asking you at least a few days ahead of time. Last minute dates to get together means he's not really that into you because he's not arranging a special time to see you. It's not too late (possibly). What you need to do is not flirt with him over messaging anymore. If you respond to his messaging, and you definitely shouldn't be doing that every time, make it very brief as you are a very busy and occupied girl so if he wants to see you, he'll need to CALL you and make a date with you. Have you read that book He's Just Not That Into You? Totally applies here! I have to agree with TTP. He's playing games, as far as I'm concerned. He's hooking you in, creating a feeling of 'familiarity' with all of the chatting. IMing, texting, messaging...all of this cr*p done electronically leaves me cold when it's done in the beginning. (This form of communication with someone that I'm dating...really dating...is okay as long as it still takes a backseat to in-person or via phone.) If he really wanted to take you out, he'd plan ahead, get your number and call. The internet/cell phones are a way for people to maintain constant contact with numerous people in a semi-real way. It's cr*p.
Pretty Fly Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 He's playing games, as He's not playing games, he's just unsure of himself and is trying the easy route
Pretty Fly Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 ...if he calls, the woman is out having fun and probably won't answer so you'll have to call again to catch this fun, special woman. If I call a woman a few times and she doesn't answer or call me back, I don't call again as I assume she isn't interested. So if the girl is interested, she has to make the effort to call at some point, else nothing's ever going to get off the ground.
Author Star Gazer Posted February 13, 2007 Author Posted February 13, 2007 Eh, I'm over it. I wasn't really all that interested in the first place.
Pretty Fly Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 if he is too wimpy to make an effort to call me, he just wasn't into me anyway I don't see how "not being into you" = "wimpy". Perhaps the guy is "super-special" and out having fun too and hasn't had time to call. Seems like a double-standard here. If she's out having fun and doesn't reply, the guy has to keep calling, even if it feels like she's ignoring him. If he's busy and not had time to call for whatever reason (and there can be 100s of reasons - perhaps he's been helping out orphaned kids or something!), he not a super-special guy with lots of mates and a social responsibility, he's a wimp, plain and simple ?!?!?!
Pretty Fly Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Eh, I'm over it. I wasn't really all that interested in the first place. so even if he'd called you would've turned him down ?!?! Maybe he sensed that in your other interactions, so you were just his backup. Hence why only emails and not calls.
Author Star Gazer Posted February 13, 2007 Author Posted February 13, 2007 so even if he'd called you would've turned him down ?!?! Maybe he sensed that in your other interactions, so you were just his backup. Hence why only emails and not calls. I don't like the "backup" definition, but if there was anyone who really was in that position, it was more likely him. I'm not sure how I could have been a backup when I kept turning him down...?? I didn't accept his date invitations for a reason. I just have too many other things (and dates) on my plate...he's just...well, not that special. That sounded mean, but you know what I'm getting at, right? I'm just not that into him. :-)
Recommended Posts