whichwayisup Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 I think, was because he found out I was considering getting involved with someone else. Yes, can we say HIS EGO? Remember, he's selfish and only thinking of HIS needs. It's warped thinking seeing as he's got a wife and gives you the cold shoulder...But then, as soon as you don't act interested in him he throws you a bone - To get your attention, which is what he wants...But without it being serious. That is why it seems it's all ego based.
Touche Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 You said he has "NO REASON" to "dis" you...you don't think so? How about his wife?
Author Crash Posted February 2, 2007 Author Posted February 2, 2007 yes, he had my attention already. He knew I still cared about him, but he said that he would feel too guilty about starting something up again and within a few hours was asking me if I wanted to get together. I think he knew if I moved on he really would have to give me up so he stopped me from moving on. (well I helped him stop me, I know).
Author Crash Posted February 2, 2007 Author Posted February 2, 2007 You said he has "NO REASON" to "dis" you...you don't think so? How about his wife? Well if he's cheating on her just to enjoy dissing me that's pretty lame. It doesn't say much for his marriage.
Touche Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 Well if he's cheating on her just to enjoy dissing me that's pretty lame. It doesn't say much for his marriage. Well the fact that he's cheating on her says more about HIM than about his marriage. Anyway, it sounds like he's feeling guilty about that now. Let him go. He belongs to someone else.
Author Crash Posted February 2, 2007 Author Posted February 2, 2007 Well the fact that he's cheating on her says more about HIM than about his marriage. Probably true. Anyway, it sounds like he's feeling guilty about that now. Let him go. He belongs to someone else. He can go if he wants and probably will. I'm not sure if I'm going to be the one to end it yet though.
NoIDidn't Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 stillafool, Thanks for the reply. I didn't voluntarily tell him it bothered me about his going home - he asked me "doesn't it bother you?" and I said "yes, of course but I try not to dwell on it." and he said HE wouldn't be able to handle it if it were the other way around. And our conversation was about work and less than 5 minutes. I actually went to his office to get something thinking he wasn't there but he was there and said he was having a terrible day and started going on about work. I wasn't complaining about anything! I hardly said a word. whichwayisup, Thanks - I'm not trying to have 'talks' with him. We have had a few talks, trying to work out how to deal with each other and stuff but it's not like I'm always bringing things up - he's said some cold things to me that upset me and I have a delayed reaction to them. Then he'll think I'm upset and tells me to tell him what it's about right then and there. That has happened at work because I hardly see him anywhere else. But even so, I have said those times that we don't have to talk about it there and he insists. But in his mind I guess he blames me anyway. You're right about his feelings. He started off pursuing me, all googly eyed, and I guess now he has shut his feelings down. The bolded section is what stood out to me about his words to you. He, IMO, is telling you that HE thinks YOU are selling YOURSELF short. He, IMO, is telling you that HE thinks YOU will practically accept just about anything he throws your way because of what you are ALREADY putting up with. I hope this helps you walk away before you end up really hurt and get even more hurt when he is bewildered as in his mind, YOU ALREADY KNEW THE DEAL.
Author Crash Posted February 3, 2007 Author Posted February 3, 2007 NoIDidn't, He's said flat out he thinks I'm selling myself short, so I'm sure you are right. I didn't take him saying he couldn't handle it that way initially though. That, combined with the fact that he went from wanting me to see other people to not wanting me to see other people, I thought he was feeling a little more attached in that he doesn't want to share me. But I guess it's probably just a territory thing.
NoIDidn't Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 NoIDidn't, He's said flat out he thinks I'm selling myself short, so I'm sure you are right. I didn't take him saying he couldn't handle it that way initially though. That, combined with the fact that he went from wanting me to see other people to not wanting me to see other people, I thought he was feeling a little more attached in that he doesn't want to share me. But I guess it's probably just a territory thing. I am speaking from personal experience. Believe me, I've been here before. When a guy says to see other people, whether or not he's married, he's saying to you he is not giving up his other gig. He's staying and telling you the way HE thinks you should deal with it. Its his guilt. Its his way of saying how you can possibly even out or equalize the power in the relationship. But problem is, men ARE very territorial. They say that, but then they immediately start to send you mixed messages. If you start seeing others AND keep seeing him, he will call you THAT NAME. This guy is telling you who he is, please listen to him.
movinon05 Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 Welcome to the top of the rollercoaster. You know where it goes from here. When you feel like your mind is being messed with is a clear sign to get out. You need to start thinking with your brain (and I mean that with good intentions, not sarcasm.)
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