CaliMan Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 Girl was in my area for training for her work, fell in love with each other, talked on the phone everyday, after she went back, ive visited her like 5 times, she's visited me twice. We speak on the phone everyday. We had a plan that she was going to move here, we get married and be together. Before she moved her she wanted some commitment from me, so I got us a nice place to live, a nice family car and some wedding rings. During the process of her moving here, she delayed the date over and over again. First it was I have to stay here with family for xmas, then she had to stay for birthday, then she didn't have enough time to pack etc. All this while she started a new job up there and said she was going to quit after 1 pay, 2 pays, 3 pays etc and she is still working there. I stressed out about the whole situation and said look I'll give you as long as you want, just give me a firm date and stick to it, she agreed and gave me a date 3 weeks away. I sweated it out (I know it doesn't seem long but it seemed like an eternity), then the day came and I went up to come and get her. After we were together up there for a while she started crying and said that she couldnt leave her mum at the moment because she was sick. There was no way I could drag her away from her sick mum so I reluctantly agreed to an extension, but she didn't want to give me a firm date because she wanted to surprise me. I lost the plot a bit when I got back home as I had worked myself up to that date a great deal and without a firm date to fall back on or look forward to, I was constantly hassling her for stuffing things up and continuously delaying things. Then today, she suggested the idea that I move up there after I've moved all my stuff into an apartment for us, bought a car that she wanted, paid for some of her bills and bought her a set of wedding rings. I was very angry when she told me this, but come to realise that I love her so much and I would be willing to move, I just feel hurt that she could make me do all those things to then dog it. She says the only thing keeping her up there is her mum but she also mentions being lonely down here etc. Tomorrow I am going up to see her again (she makes me so happy when we are together), and we are going to have a big discussion about what's going to happen. I think she is willing to move here to not lose me and I am the same with her, but if I did move there I would just feel a little hard done by considering all the preperation I went to at her request for her to move here for her to dog it in the end after promosing so many dates when she was going to move. Should I have a right to make her stick to her commitment or should I just get over it and move if that's how it has to be?
taiko Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 You gave many reasons for her to stay. Why can't you move?
Author CaliMan Posted February 1, 2007 Author Posted February 1, 2007 The only reasons keeping her there now are her mum and the fact that she doesn't want to be lonely when she moves. I can move but I would have to give up my job and seeing family from time to time here which I can deal with, but I'd feel silly in a way doing that after she has made me do everything for her here so she could come here for me just to cancel it all like I was wasting my time because she couldn't go through with it.
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