Guest Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 I need your help here. I thought my relationship with MM was over when i asked him for a serious talk and he didn't bother phoning like he said he would. I have given details before. So no contact since mid December and then I bump into him in a shop--no I wasn't stalking him--we live in the same locality. I was prepared to just acknowledge him and move on but he caught hold oof me and said he wanted to call me and did I mind. I weakly said "NO I didn't mind "and he said he would call soon. That was 2 weeks ago but he is cautious. Of course he might be playing mind games/control--not sure. Any views?
frannie Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 I think I responded to your earlier thread about him not wanting a 'serious conversation', but I'm not sure if you're the same person or not. My opinion is that he wants an affair, no 'serious conversations'. When he saw you in the store he wondered if he could still have you on a piece of string. Your telling him that yes, he could phone you, told him that yes, you are still available. That's all he wants to know. He'll call you when he wants you, I expect.
Guest Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 I think I responded to your earlier thread about him not wanting a 'serious conversation', but I'm not sure if you're the same person or not. My opinion is that he wants an affair, no 'serious conversations'. When he saw you in the store he wondered if he could still have you on a piece of string. Your telling him that yes, he could phone you, told him that yes, you are still available. That's all he wants to know. He'll call you when he wants you, I expect. Yes that was me that you responded to earlier Frannie--thank you. I guess that if he doesn't want a relationship I would have expected him to just say "Hi" in the store and then move swiftly on as I was doing, But I think you are right--he doesn't want to meet me face to face unless he can just resume the Affair on his terms. It is not as if he is wrestling with leaving or not leaving the W during these periods of NC. I don't think he liked me saying to him over the phone that if he didn't want to talk then I didn't want him to bother meeting with me and he was panicked into saying he would phone. However, I was upset because, before that, he had phoned to say that he would pop round to see me and we didn't have to do anything--I replied that would be nice and he said he would phone but it took him another 6 days to phone which resulted in the conversation above. I now think he was just testing me--I don't think he wants to come round to do nothing and when I said that was OK he backed off. It really was up to him to suggest a time --I thought my words of "that would be nice" were encouraging enough. Anyway, all of this is doing my head in because I now spend way too much time trying to figure out what is going on in his mind. Why doesn't he just end it if I am becoming too high maintenance emotionally and move on? Or is he behaving in such a bizarre manner because he wants me to walk away and then he doesn't look like the bad guy. He can tell himself that I wasn't really in love with him or I wouldn't have walked away. Or he is "punishing" me for expecting too much of him--I have upset his little routine. I am trying to focus on my work but it is hard. Also now doing shopping in another locality as I don't want to risk running into him again and he thinks I am chasing him--more power/control to him.
Jinxx Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 I need your help here. I thought my relationship with MM was over when i asked him for a serious talk and he didn't bother phoning like he said he would. I have given details before. So no contact since mid December and then I bump into him in a shop--no I wasn't stalking him--we live in the same locality. I was prepared to just acknowledge him and move on but he caught hold oof me and said he wanted to call me and did I mind. I weakly said "NO I didn't mind "and he said he would call soon. That was 2 weeks ago but he is cautious. Of course he might be playing mind games/control--not sure. Any views? Ok, too funny, this is similar to what I am going through right now, LOL! I told my MM I needed that same talk, maybe different then yours though. He said he'd call, it has been two weeks and I'm still waiting. In an email he told me a week ago he has been very busy and asked me to be patient and then we would talk. Nothing, nada.... whatever! I probably scared him away for good. It royally sucks, doesn't it?!
GreenEyedLady Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 This is just SO DISRESPECTFUL!!! You should not put up with that...change your number...
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