maeve79 Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 I work with my boyfriend. We started dating in July last year and at 1st it was great we had lots of fun etc...but then he told me that he wasnt ready for the r'ship. He had a bad break up and went through a lot of emotional and mental problems when it happened. We got together too soon and i understood. We work together every day in a small office and all socialise together too so couldnt not avoid one another. We started to see one another again casually then again full on proper r'ship, being girl/boyfriend etc...i went away for xmas for 3 wks, we spoke every day and when i came back he told me he wanted to give me 100% and is ready to open his heart etc..he asked me to move in also. We had a small disagreement a week later and he turned again and said he wasnt ready and is he forcing himself in the r'ship coz he wants it to work, even though the natural feelings for me just arnt there. He said he cares but he cant say the 'L' world and after all this time maybe we are flogging a dead horse! Then 2 days ater he is fine again. He is up and down its like he is fighting the r'ship all the time. he wants it, then doesnt, then does, then doesnt! I dont understand...i am in love with him now and the thought of splitting up and seeing him day in, day out, at work is killing me. But deep down i know i deserve to be with someone who is ready and willing to give 100% to a r'ship. Maybe my boyfriend just isnt ready or maybe im just not the one for him! Im so confused. I feel like i should end it but i cant cope with seeing him everyday and trying to get over him. I only moved here in may last yr and have a 2/3 friends outside of work....my best friends arnt here to support me and i dont know how i will do it. I am a strong person but this is my 1st r'ship after a 7yr r'ship that ended 3 yrs ago - what do i do. Any advice is really really appreciated. x
BlueEyedSarah Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 I think you will need to look for a new job if you can not cope seeing him at work all the time. This is why I feel its best not to have relationships with co-workers. It seems as though the both of you are just on a merry go round. Yes it is best that the both of you break up. He can not keep putting you up like this by saying he is not ready then jump back into the relationship with you 2 days after. It is old and emotionally tireing for you. Seek comfort for any friend, even ring a best friend if they are not close by to meet up with you. Also seek comfort from family too if they are close by, maybe even stay with a family member for a little while too to help you heal your heart. Loveshack is also another good place to come
Author maeve79 Posted February 3, 2007 Author Posted February 3, 2007 Thanks for the advice - since i wronte that we have split up. I talked to him last night and he admitted that he just doesnt have that burning desire to be in a full blown r'ship. He says the fire in his belly for us isnt there and he has tried but it isnt. He says its not that he doesnt want me but its a timing issue with us. He finds he wants to do more things with his mates and he shouldnt feel that way in a r'ship. I am so so sad. I understand what he is saying but i know how hard things will be for me now. I am sponsored with my job and cannot change jobs. I am only in australia because of my job. The hardest thing is not having my family or friends here. I have 3 close friends that i know will support me but its going to be getting through everyday mon-fri at work that will be the struggle. Thanks for your advice.
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