zoe1983 Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 Hi guys, I am new here and could really use some advice! I am 23 and have been with my boyfriend Ben for about 1 1/2 years and have known him for about 2 1/2 years. We are both currently in school full time. I already have a bachelors degree but can't find a job so I have gone back to school for another degree which I will finish this May. He is getting an associates degree and its his first time at college. While I was getting my bachelors I did't work and my parents basically supported me, although I was responsible for paying any extras and entertainment with money from my summer job. This time around I am going to school full time and working full time and I pay for everything except rent. This means I am basically at school and work from 8am to 10pm. I had a really hard time with it at first but I know I just need to suck it up and know that lots of people have it worse than me. Now to the problem. My boyfriend does not work while he is doing school full time. His parents pay for everything, including extras and entertainment. He had a rough time when he first started school and so he quit his part time job. At the time his parents and I agreed it was the right choice. Except now he is getting into the swing of things and is doing much better. He loves school and spends alot of time there. I must admit I am a bit jealous since he is so passionate about something and i haven't found anything like that yet. Anyways...sorry for the rambling!!! My main issue is this....I feel like he should get a part time job while he is going to school. Although he has enough money to survive and have some fun, its always on clothes or alcohol or something, he never has enough to take me out or even go out with me when i offer to go dutch. Also, because he doesn't go to school till 3 pm, he stays up all night doing whatever and then sleeps all morning. Its hard for us to spend the night together b/c i want to be in bed by 12 and he wants to stay up much later. Basically all of this is really starting to make me feel bitter and resentful and I hate it. I mean i know my parents helped me out the first time around but its just hard for me to see the fun easy life he lives and not get upset when im really struggling. I hate hate hate feeling this way and i love him so much and i feel like there is soemthing wrong with me for being so resentful. What should i do???? I want to get rid of these feelings and just be thankful that i have an amazing guy who is really supportive and loving! Thank you so much for anyone who read all this!!
IpAncA Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 Anyways...sorry for the rambling!!! My main issue is this....I feel like he should get a part time job while he is going to school. Although he has enough money to survive and have some fun, its always on clothes or alcohol or something, he never has enough to take me out or even go out with me when i offer to go dutch. Also, because he doesn't go to school till 3 pm, he stays up all night doing whatever and then sleeps all morning. Its hard for us to spend the night together b/c i want to be in bed by 12 and he wants to stay up much later. Basically all of this is really starting to make me feel bitter and resentful and I hate it. I mean i know my parents helped me out the first time around but its just hard for me to see the fun easy life he lives and not get upset when im really struggling. I hate hate hate feeling this way and i love him so much and i feel like there is soemthing wrong with me for being so resentful. What should i do???? I want to get rid of these feelings and just be thankful that i have an amazing guy who is really supportive and loving! Thank you so much for anyone who read all this!! 8 to 10...How do you do it? Wait I already know because I did that myself. Sounds like your jealous. Stop being like that. Your time will come. Your just going through a rough time right now. Remember how easy you had it. Makes me wonder how you would feel if you were having luck together. Talk to your bf about this, tell him how you feel and that you would like to spend more time with him and go out once in a while. You both should be able to come to some sort of an understanding.
Author zoe1983 Posted February 1, 2007 Author Posted February 1, 2007 anyone else?? I could really use some advice. I'm sorry its so long but please anybody got any ideas on how I can stop feeling this way?
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 I'm with you on this one... he should get a job. Almost everyone works a PT job while going to school. It's called being an adult. I've had a job since I was sixteen. If he has money to spend on alcohol, then he should have money to go out with you; I don't think you're being unreasonable. On a side note, my ex was fully funded by his parents during his undergraduate and masters degrees. We were together for a year and a half (and friends another year before that... much like you and your boyfriend) and he never had a job until three months after he graduated (yeah it took him that long). We broke up about nine months after he finally got a job because he just couldn't take the stress of having a job. He became a completely different person. If for no other reason, you want your man to have a job so that you know he can cope in the real world!
Guest Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 I think OWAID is right. Same thing happened to me and an ex...TWICE. (I know, fool me once...) Anyway, I'd have to know my guy could deal with the "real world" if for no other reason than it is a FAST way to see if your goals are really inline with each others.
Recommended Posts