gc_77 Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 been a week and a half since she told me she does not wanna be together and asked me to move out....wanna call ex so bad!!!! when i talked to her mom last saturday she said try to call her in a week or two.....i was trying to do the no contact approach and give her her space ...I love this girl to no end. I know she IS marriage material and I would love to spend my life with her... she is amazing..... we had a few problems....actually my problems of insecurity.....but she seemed to do everything right.....I know she loves me alot and misses me too. her mom told me how down she is and just want to hug and call me...... talking to her mom gave me hope..... so do I call her ?.........and if so how do i approach the conversation?
Author gc_77 Posted January 31, 2007 Author Posted January 31, 2007 well....update.....she actually tried to call me about an hour ago.....i got out of the gym and i had a voicemail......she said she had read the letter i gave to her mom to give to her and listened to the cd i made for her......she stated that she just wanted me to know that and that she has been thinking alot about everything and analyzing the situation....that she does not wanna leave me just wandering.....and that we need to talk but......she says i dont know (she said i dont know about 8 times throughout her message)...and that she does not have the words as to what to say right now.....and she also studdered alot through the message.............I wanna call her but?????what actions to take?????
woodyman Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 Call her. It means so much to a girl if the bloke will put the effort to call her, and it takes courage to do so. I mean she had tried to call you, fir enough you couldn't pick up, but she didn't just leave it blank, she left you a message where you could hear her voice. If you were there when you got the call would you have picked up ?? I guess at yes you would, so buy this time, you would have talked, however uneasily, something might have been thrashed out. The fact that you still are able to talk to her mum, shows that she would like you to take care of her daughter, and i would bet at the whole time she will be talking to her, calming her down, and trying to make everything seem just a little bit easier. Give her a call mate...let the words unfold as they have to.
Author gc_77 Posted February 1, 2007 Author Posted February 1, 2007 thanx woodyman for the advice sounds good, but i tend to always question what i do and wonder if it is really the right thing......so........ still so unsure................................well have still been contemplating the call, at times i want to so bad, but then i get a feeling that it might be wise to wait a bit longer because she sounded so unsure about everything in her message and stated she needed to talk but she does not yet have it in her mind what she wants to say.........i have alot of hope and can feel it all the way through me that this will work out but i just wanna go at it the right way as to not push her any further.......do you think she may need some more time before i call??? or does it really showing that i dont care because i have not called back yet??? if i call her back i dont want her to think that i am chasing her and being needy i want to show her i can give her some space and let her do what she needs........its so hard to keep from calling. the days seem easier than nights as i usually cannot sleep and just imagine the conversation that is going to happen and imagine being back together............so please some more advice??????
woodyman Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 That has got to be the hardest decision...deciding the right time to call her. I men how long has it been now ?...If you called to soon, then it is seen by needy by her, but leaving it for longer and longer, just to make SURE that it isn't needy will make her think you don't care quite as much as she may think. I still stand by calling her now, or at least by the end of tomorrow. Maybe this will give you the time to think about some small small details you want to say, but do not plan things, don't plan your talk out because some answers she gives might not be what you wanted, and then you will start stumbling over what you say. Just relax, you have been through a lot together, call her, let her do most of the talking, and answer her in the most honest way you can. Importantly, LISTEN TO WHAT SHE WANTS TO SAY. Good luck though hey, keep me informed
Author gc_77 Posted February 2, 2007 Author Posted February 2, 2007 Well I called!!!! Things went perfect from the begining of the conversation.......kinda awkward at first but then it was like when we just met ....we were joking around and having fun.......so after awhile I asked if she wanted to meet some time for coffee or lunch.......she said sure...we discussed when would be a good time and we decided right at that moment.....so we met at a local coffee house had some tea and pastries.....and we sat and talked for about 3 hours the entire thing went as perfect as it could have.........we even sat together on the same side of the booth held hands hugged and just talked to no end about everything. I walked her to her car she hugged me for awhile told me she loved me and I even got a few kisses................WOW!!! how things and emotions can be in the dumps one minute and your flyin high the next!!!!!!!! guess you just gotta play your cards right and it seems to me this is what i plan to do from here on out....im not gonna allow this to happen again.....she is way too great of a girl. she is "The One".......and I know it.
woodyman Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 Well what can I say...you have everything right there. But keep it like you say, when you first met. Keep making her laugh, keep doing the little things, make her smile, and go to hold her hand when you walk. Only you will know what she likes, and you have done it well so far. Good luck mate
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