sadieb Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 I thought that posting, getting some perspective might help. My MM and I have been together almost 5 years this year. For the past few months we discussed living together, new life, everything. The end of January was the decision time and he says he cant leave. He couldnt move on if he left he feels it would be destroying his wife and daughters lives forever and they do not deserve that. I was trying to prepare myself for the worst but it seems that preparation doenst make it any easier. I want everything with him and i know that he wants the same,just not enough. SO sad, i have never felt so alone and unsure what to do from here.
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 Sadieb, I'm sorry to hear what has happened. Five years is a LONG time to wait for a MM to leave his M. You must have been through a real rollercoaster, to get to the day that most OW dread, the day he says "I can't leave". From here on, you really have two options: 1) To continue the affair. In this situation you remain but now there will be no hopes and dreams for you, no future with him to concentrate on. Before, there was an end "goal" that you believed was shared by you and the MM. Now that he has concluded that by saying his wife and children are too important to leave, it puts paid to your future with him - you now know you will always be the OW if he wants to continue the affair. Some OW are able to handle this. Some aren't (me being one of them). Either way, it's your choice but I see it as a way of prolonging your pain if you wanted your future to be with him 2) You can cut all ties and move on from him. No contact with him. How hard that will be I can only imagine, but I can imagine it would be pretty hard. But at the end of it, there's one positive thing - you'll have a future. Not hiding away in the shadows, but the chance to find a relationship whereby you are able to have your future criteria met 100% I'm sorry for your struggle, and it's going to be hard but Loveshack posters are always here with a friendly ear Hugs
whichwayisup Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 After 5 years of broken promises and you being the OW, I hope now you see him for what he is. A married man who isn't going to leave his wife. You have two choices. Stay the OW forever and be second best, settle for a small portion of a relationship - Or - END IT, grieve and move on so you can find a single man who you can love fully and have a full relationship with. Make your heart get over him because I would hate to see you post in another year or two, that you're still waiting for him. Don't waste ANY more time or energy on him... Go to therapy if you need help coping.
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