Guest Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 I fancied myself as a model NC student. Got through three weeks no contact and my ex called and suggested we go ahead with a holiday we had prebooked before we broke up, on the proviso we don't analyse us and what went wrong. A few days after that he called to 'drop in a CD' which he did, it ended up becoming dinner, then kissing and then he stayed. It was great. He left the next morning and didn't call for 24 hours. It was like being back at square one. When he called I ignored. He called again an hour later with something about thanks for dinner and something about the holiday. I ignored, he called again, when I accidentally picked up, and he said ' hey I think I am going to be in the neighborhood I will come and help you put together your furniture (I mentioned I just bought). He did, he stayed again!!! I can't believe I did that. The next he called - I missed the call, and returned it. He said actually he didn't need me anymore and had it sorted (thought he left something at my place). Then rang off kind of abruptyly. I felt sick and again against my better judgement - sent him a text saying ' that phone call didn't feel very good just then' He called back a few hours later leaving a message to talk about the text. He wasn't sure what I meant but he was on his way into a meeting and apologised if it was abrupt. Then I just sent a text back saying, thanks - don't worry about it, talk soon. He didn't call until the following day (today) saying he had organised some stuff for when we are in Fiji and that was it. Kind of short, not emotional. We go in about five days and I feel kind of ill. LIke what the hell are we doing. We are in this murky, cloudy - I don't know what the hell we are doing. We are obviously going away, will sleep together, I will fall in love with him all over again, and then we come back and what ?? Nothing? That is kind of hard to take but I guess I have done it to myself. Would you go away if you wanted nothing more from each other? Please guys tell me what the hell he is thinking. (By the way - we still loved each other when we broke up - I broke up with him but he agreed saying, he could never make me happy and it had to break up sometime) Kat
Lostandfound Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 As much as it is not nice saying this, it sounds like he is using you for sex. Either that or he has something else in the background that you know nothing about, which is distracting him. If you want my advise find a man who wants to be with you for who you really are and not just wants your body for sex
yhan_627 Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 I agree that I think his just using you. You must break free asap. cause if not your going to regret it! It happened to me and our on and off relationship goes on and on for 2 years. if he finds another girl he dumps me. and then when she dumps him or he dumps her. he comes crawling back to me. at first i thought it was LOVE! until one day we got back together again because of a concert we went together. so we had sex. he inserted his thing into bumm. said that he thought it was the other one. i said that hurts and i don't like it. and then he did it again. when i didn't let him after that. when he drop me of my place. that was the last time i ever talk to him. i called their house his always not there. and then i talked to his mom i asked where he is she said he is out of town with his relatives. his mom is curious why i didn't know. so i still call his cellphone. whenever i was able to hear it ring after that his going to turn his cell off again. so that's when i finally realize that it is just sex and experimentation! Did I mention that there was even one time that our friends were hanging out in his place (of course i'm there ) still love him i think..... thinking that we might got back together if i'm there. and then all i know is that we are suddenly hiding in the washroom and his forcing me to have sex. (he didn't have fun) cause i don't want to. Leave the guy don't talk to him ever again. It is just sex! I think that if he really, really, really really loves you he should not agree with you that you should break up. Instead he should have tried harder to make you happy! Why are you not happy? if you don't mind.
Guest Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 Probably, but it is just sex although our relationship has never been about that. In fact we are each others best friends. We stayed up all hours (after the sex) just talking and catching up. He would do anything for me and its a hell of a lot of money to spend just to have sex ( I mean the holiday). I am committed now - will go, enjoy myself and then go cold turkey when we come back. We broke up because I kind of overreacted to him going out with his mates, locked him out of the house, threw his stuff out and then blocked him from family Christmas Eve. Might have overreacted just a bit. But he was very angry and said I am happy to accept your decision. I haven't told him I still love him or showed any kind of weakness about my decision since (NC for three weeks) he finally called. So it was kind of strange that he said, lets still go on the holiday. He also said he was extremely sorry for upsetting me when he went out with his mates that night. But because I didn't want to drag it all out again for him to say he is happy broken up. I said nothing. I guess I just want to go on the holiday we have both been looking forward to and then see what happens. Good plan anyone???
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