sunshineblues Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 Although I think I am suppose to know what is good for me sometimes people are put in situations that leave them in a loop and then confusion arises.... Here is my story... Thank in advance for reading Brief history: married at 19 filed for divorce at 21 flew back to my home country.3 months after arrving to home country met a guyeverything was greatuntil he started to act strange like not trusting me because of this incident when he traveled i bought my sisters freinds and my sister a drink for her b-day one of her freinds which was a guy gave me a peck on the lips as a thank you i mean he was tipsy so was I ... I picked up the phone and let him know what happened. Big mistake.Anyways this new guy compares me to woman in his family and society muslim that is they cover they are religuous etc I was born and raised in the United States so i considered "liberal" he wanted that to chnage and tried all ways. I tried to compormise with him but nothing was good enough I even covered my hair for a while for him that did not work wither because he cliams that i am only doing it for him and not from heart.His father does not like me he thinks I am a second-hand non-virgin divorcee in other words Bitch in his eyes he wants a virgin for his son.The guy confuses me he says he loves me one day and then not the other. He claims he would never want me as the mother of his kids i would raise them to be the devils children!! how nice yeah? So in other words he does nto want to marry me I guess I am his **** buddy?! excuse me.So this guy speask of faith and religon and he is out clubbing drinking and having sex with girls-- he claims hes a man he can do what he wishes its not shameful for men but for woman its a sin and the quran does not say non of that..... men are equal to woman.He thinks my reputation in the socitey is horrible which it isn't really my father is a well known polictican there and my family is well off so we are a "good" family so I dont see what his father dislikes expect the fact that I am a year older than him and i am a divorcee.The guy has physically hurt me on many ocassions that keft me with bruises although he is apologetic I cant forget but i forgive himI am very nice to him cause I love him and i put him before me but he sees that as lack of self respect. He says her treats me bad cause i let him.All in all. I love this man I willing to give him everything. I go to an IVY league college here in the states I was on leave and I enrolled in a college overseas but al the stress brought me back hre because I think this is good for me. We currently are long distant dating and talk on phone/webcam several times a day. I am caught up in a loop. I know if i decide to leave him I will be so so upset cause i love him and know he can treat meright if he wanted to its in him. I know this is breif but any suggestions?
curiousnycgirl Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 You need to dump him! He is physically and psychologically abusive, full stop. Clearly his religion and family (or I should say the way his family observes their religion) prohibits his "going the distance" with you - and clearly he cannot reconcile that with his supposed affection for you. But frankly - he's left bruises?! I think you need to take some time off to concentrate on YOU. Focus on your studies, and becoming the woman you want to become - and don't let him or any man dictate those things. You deserve so much more than what this man is giving you - please try to see that!
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