Guest Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 When me and my bf are laying in bed, i am always the one who starts cuddling with him, ill wait for a while to see if he will cuddle up with me but he doesnt, but i want to so bad i just give in and do it. This is kinda big because he lives an hour drive away and we dont get to see each other that often, weve only seen each other about 4-5 times, for 3 days at a time, i met him online. He doesnt cuddle me, and i dont know if he finds me attractive or not. I want him to do it, but i dont want to tell him my problem, i want him to do it on his own. Can someone tell me what i could do to help this??? (whispers) P.S. same with sex
fudge_cake_89 Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 quite simply try and discuss your feelings and his feelings. even if you do it online, or on the phone, or next time you see him. your living blind at the moment not knowing exactly how he feels. so just talk to him about it. scary, maybe, but worth it in the longrun. good luck!
tanbark813 Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 I want him to do it, but i dont want to tell him my problem, i want him to do it on his own. Can someone tell me what i could do to help this??? Yeah, tell him. This is one of the most annoying things about girls: They expect you to read their mind and magically figure out what the problem is. If you haven't said anything to him about it, then chances are he has no idea anything is wrong.
dropdeadlegs Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 When me and my bf are laying in bed, i am always the one who starts cuddling with him, ill wait for a while to see if he will cuddle up with me but he doesnt, but i want to so bad i just give in and do it. This is kinda big because he lives an hour drive away and we dont get to see each other that often, weve only seen each other about 4-5 times, for 3 days at a time, i met him online. He doesnt cuddle me, and i dont know if he finds me attractive or not. I want him to do it, but i dont want to tell him my problem, i want him to do it on his own. Can someone tell me what i could do to help this??? (whispers) P.S. same with sex Some people speak the primary love language of physical touch., others do not. You've got two choices here. 1) Keep hoping in silence that he will start initiating the cuddling. If he doesn't do this cuddling on his own, it likely isn't important to him and life will go on just the way it is and he will have no idea that his initiating cuddling is so important to you. 2) Talk to him about this and hope that he will make some changes in behavior. People can change, but in my experience they either are naturally touchy feely or they are not. It sounds like you are and he isn't. Did you see The Breakup? There was a scene early in the movie where the woman wanted the man to help with the dishes, but he wanted to watch "the game" on TV. This caused some conflict, so he relented and offered to help, but she didn't just want him to help, she wanted him to want to help. This is what caused the breakup. While compatible in many ways, they didn't speak the same love language.
Star Gazer Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 This is one of the most annoying things about girls: They expect you to read their mind and magically figure out what the problem is. I've been guilty of this in the past. Men are (fairly) simple creatures. They aim to please...however, they can't do that if they have no idea HOW. Communication is CRITICAL.
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 This is kinda big because he lives an hour drive away and we dont get to see each other that often, weve only seen each other about 4-5 times, for 3 days at a time, i met him online. My question for you is how long have you been dating? You call him your boyfriend but you've only met him a handful of times. I reserve the word "boyfriend" after months of dating at least once a week... if not two or three times a week. Also, you say you live an hour apart and thus you can't see each other very often, but when you do get together, you get together for several days. Why is that? One hour isn't far at all. One of the guys I am dating lives an hour away and so far we've seen each other every weekend. Maybe there's more to the story like conflicting work schedules or something, but if he's only a measly hour away, don't let that stop you from hooking up more often!
allina Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 You say you've only hung out with him 4-5 times, maybe he isnt comfortable enough just yet to initiate physical contact.
Guest Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 One of the guys I am dating lives an hour away and so far we've seen each other every weekend. nice touch - how many u dating? lol
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 One of the guys I am dating lives an hour away and so far we've seen each other every weekend. nice touch - how many u dating? lol One for every day of the week, of course!
Lauriebell82 Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 some guys just dont like to lie there in bed like that..they get ancy or something. my bf does this sometimes, he jumps up to take a shower and stuff, the only time he'll lay in bed is when we are about to fall asleep for the night. i talked to him about it and he has tried harder to not just jump up right away, sometimes he still does it though. talk to him about it, and maybe he'll try harder to make u happy.
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