gc_77 Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 K, here's the situation, me and my girlfriend broke up about a week ago, we were living together for the last 4 months, and together for 11 months everything was perfect until about 3 months ago. we got into our first big fight and it just happened to be the first night we were in vegas. we got over that the next morning and had a great time the rest of the time there. that was in Oct. the next big fight was on new years eve. i know what a night to have a fight huh? once again got over that one then last sunday we were trying to talk about an issue that i was insecure about and 3 times i had to leave the room because i did not want to get mad and start yelling. she came to the bedroom and said " i cant do this anymore im done i think you need to move your stuff out".......i felt like she was not giving me some time to cool off and then reapproach the situation.......i got mad (which now i realize i should of handled it differently) but she left to go to her moms and i decided to start drinking . thought she will be back in a few hours.....4 hours and she is not back so i went to her moms.....got her to come out and talk to me and it just made it worse.....because i was already drinking and i was upset and we argued more....all of which her parents saw......so she spent the night at her moms and the next morning i called her and talked to her for about a whole minute. I got emotional on the phone when she said i dont want to be in this relationship anymore so she decided she did not wanna talk to me and said goodbye and hung up.........that is the last time i spoke with her(just over a week ago). The next day I wanted to respect her and her wishes so i took my essential items and moved out. 5 days later i got a txt saying i have packed the rest of your things and you can contact my mom to make arrangements to pick them up. so 2 days ago thats what i did....when i got to her house it was just her mom there and when i walked in the door she gave me a huge hug and we talked for a while.....she told me that when i called her to make arragement to get my stuff my girlfriend was right there and just started crying....and when she was coming to the house my girlfriend told her...ill just go....she also tells me that she is so sad and crys alot and says she just wants to hug me......but she will not contact me? I know she needs some space right now because she said she felt smothered because there is alot going on, lost her job, i moved in and she has never lived with anyone, i can be insecure at times, i have kids and she does not.....i miss her so much and just wanna hold and comfort her, she is my world and i can feel it...she is the one i wanna share my life with....she is an amazing girl!!! I do not wanna call her and push her further away...although i did give her mom a lengthy letter to give to her and told her to hug her and tell her i miss her for me..(her parents are just amazing!!! and i made an ass out of myself that night in front of them) so how do i get this absolutely beautiful, amazing girl back????? i love her so much and would absolutely do anything to have her back.....come on girls i need your help........
confucious Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 Sounds like a really tough situation - how bad were the fights (insulting?? threatening?/) that you had leading up to the break-up and are there any other underlying issues, ie: her needing space, jealousy etc?? It sounds like she just snapped - perhaps it was your yelling, perhaps she cannot handle conflict(some people just cannot, and will not, deal with conflict...they up and go), perhaps, like you said, she is going through some hard times. Fact is - you ahve no choice but to give her space and see if she will "come back". Maybe a couple of weeks NC followed up by a letter or phone call letting her know you still love her and are still hoping to work things out. From the sound sof it, forcing things could go very badly, especially if you tend to fly off the wall when hearing hurtful things. (I have/had this problem too - I take everything to the core...) Good luck!!
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