Lisik Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 I don't know where else to write, and I think I can really use a good advice... Warning - its going to be a long post... So, here is the story. My very first boyfriend, someone I dated back in high school, who broke my heart, of course, now, more then ten years later, we found each otehr again and started dating again. We have been dating for about a year and a half by now, and things are going reasonably smoothly, well, no relationship is perfect. I'm 28, he is 32. He has an older sister, who is going to be 40 this year. She is single, never been married, never really had a serious relationship, very depressed, not very social, very lonely. She started hanging out with us. We got into rock climbing, so she started going to the rock gym with us a couple of times a week. Then she also started going outdoor climbing with us - which is one day out of the weekend. My bf spends a lot of time with her, because she is very lonely and not social, and he feels bad. I was getting more and more annoyed. Basically, we no longer spend any time alone, just the two of us, she is always there. My bf is in graduate school, he is very busy, i have a very busy job, so we don't necessarily see each other every night, but every night that we do - she is there... Also, I think its unbeleivably unhealthy for her and for the two of us, too, to do this. I started inviting my friends to go climbing with us, to do other activities when she is present, to make it into a social event - and she started raizing bloody hell, how dare I invite another person to a climbing trip without consulting her first. WE got into a huge fight over it with my bf just before the holidays. WE were fighting for a couple of months, with my bf telling me what a horrible person I am and I should be feeling good about helping another person and stuff. That I shouldn't be forcing people she doesn't know on her, and that she is uncomfortable aroudn strangers. I am not a bad person, matter of fact I am very very compassionate, but enough is enough! We sort of made up maybe a couple fo weeks ago. Spend a little time together, just the two of us. And then, last Saturday, we were going to watch a movie at home, have a quiet evening - she called and was all depresed and sad and we ended up going over to her house to watch a movie there. I am seriously considering completely breaking this whole thing off, because I just can't handle it anymore. I feel like I am in some weird threesome, where someone else is "fragile" and "more important"... Any advice?
JCD Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 Spending few times together is ok but not frequently like she is doing with you guys. She needs to break her dependency on her brother and learn to live alone or go out on dates. Your b/f should see a therapist so that he could see what he's doing is wrong and be told by a professional who he respects.
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