angelbabylk Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I have been dating this man for almost two years now. When I first met him he was shipping out 3 weeks later for Basic Training in the US Army. We wrote back and fourth, and by the time he was back for a christmas break, we were an offical couple. After his 2 week break, he returned only to be discharged a few weeks later for medical reasons. Ok, since then we have grown closer, shared feelings, done our own thing.. Needless to say, I fell in love with him. We ended up getting a place together in July '05, and things were great. I've never felt like I could open up so much to anyone. Although I have a hard time trusting anyone, he was the first person I really wanted to trust with all of my heart. Then he started hanging out with more women, nothing ever happend.. at least that's what he told me. I've known from the start that he was the kind of man that had more women friends than guy friends, so I tried to just get over my jealousy. Well, lately it's been worse because I've seen him slowly pushing me away. Until about 3 weeks ago, we were alright. We argued, but what couple doesn't? Then he met a girl named Lindsay, who lives in Greensboro (1 1/2 hours away from here). He met her through his company because she had to come to Raleigh. He told me there was no attraction towards her, but they started talking on the phone more, so on and so fourth. Before he really started talking to her, in the heat of a fight he broke up with me. It was basically like, "Im not going to tell you that we are dating again until things can change." I couldn't blame him for doing that though, because there have been several times I told him I would try and control my jealousy, but haven't. I know he must have grown tired of hearing it. Back to Lindsay, a couple nights after we broke up he went to see her. BEFORE he left he told me not to worry about him, just to trust him. I had to be at work at 7AM the next morning, and he said he would definatly be home before that, since he left at 8pm. Well, 7 came around and he was no where to be found. In fact, he didn't get home until 2pm. I was pissed, but I figured there was nothing I could do because technically we werent together. My point of view was, why should I be working on trying to make this relationship work, while he is out doing whatever he wants? He told me he wouldn't date anyone else during this period because he still had feelings for me and it wouldn't be fair for him to jump into a realtionship. He said he would tell me if that ever happend. By the way, he also made a trip out there yesterday, was gone for 9 hours, and had his phone cut off the whole time. By the time he got home I was pissed off, and didn't want anything to do with him. He told me that he liked her, and as unfair as it was to me, he figured he should tell me. I asked him this morning if she was worth giving what him and i have together up, and he replied "I dont know". when I asked how that could even be a question, he said "because I don't see how you have made any progress at all". I don't know what to do, because as much as I hate him right now.. I love him too. I know I should be putting me first, but he says he needs time to himself to work this out in his head. So, in the mean time, what am I supposed to do? Wait? Or is that too stupid to wait for someone who has to choose between me and another girl he hardly knows?
foxtrot127 Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 You should definitely not wait on this guy. The best thing you could do is move out IMO. That may sound extreme, but that is what would be best for you. That is the only way he will not keep taking you for granted. If you can't do that, then you go see some other guy. See how he likes that. Imagine what mind you would have to be in to drive 9 hours to see another guy you've been talking to. That will give you an idea of how he feels about the relationship right now. If this continues, you should really get yourself out of that living situation. I was living with my ex-girlfriend for a month after we broke up. Then she started seeing a guy she met online, and driving about an hour to see him. This ate me for lunch and cause me much pain. However, my ex had decided she was done for good with us. He doesn't sound so sure, but he needs to decide on his own with you not around, and you need to prepare for the end of it if that is what is coming. Show him he shouldn't take you for granted.
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