BedRoomVoice Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I decided that I am going to tell my MM that I no longer want to hear about his wife. That I feel our time is best spent talking about us and enjoying each others company. Has anyone else had to go through this? Did it work out well? I just hope that he doesnt misread this and our communication stops. I like that he can talk to me about anything.
MoonGirl Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 Your MM probably talks about his wife for a couple of reasons. He's using you as his therapist and he is making sure you know he is married. Does he talk about her often?
erika2610 Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I told my ex-MM I didn't want to hear about his wife quite often. But I was always so nosy, that I would be the one asking him about her all the time.
cbl Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 oh sure he will stop. if not, ask him how his wife will feel if he talks to her about you. or talk to him about your ex. or some male friends that you know. if he still doesn't stop, then dump him.... because you are not feeling comfortable being around him.
Kathleen Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 Or, you can call his wife & tell her how good you guys are in bed. I don't advise it though!!
stillhere Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I still don't understand why communication with him would come to a halt if you asked him to stop talking about her. My MM and I talk about his W. She's a part of his life, and it's gonna happen, regardless if you want him to or not. The only thing he won't do is purposely be somewhere with her without asking me first. Example: I went out on Saturday night, and my MM and his W were invited to go to the same place as well. He made up an excuse because i told him that i'm not comfortable hanging out with her. Not because i don't like her, but because i don't want her to try and befriend me. It was bad enough that her sister was there, and her sister adores me and finds me fun to hang out with. He is very respectful of my feelings when it comes to situations like this. If he cares about you, he will stop talking about her in the context that he is. Don't expect him to never mention her again, like i said, she is a part of his life, whether you like it or not.
Kathleen Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 BRE, How long have you been with him? My man has never ever brought up his now xwife. Even when they were still married.
noforgiveness Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I still don't understand why communication with him would come to a halt if you asked him to stop talking about her. My MM and I talk about his W. She's a part of his life, and it's gonna happen, regardless if you want him to or not. The only thing he won't do is purposely be somewhere with her without asking me first. Example: I went out on Saturday night, and my MM and his W were invited to go to the same place as well. He made up an excuse because i told him that i'm not comfortable hanging out with her. Not because i don't like her, but because i don't want her to try and befriend me. It was bad enough that her sister was there, and her sister adores me and finds me fun to hang out with. He is very respectful of my feelings when it comes to situations like this. If he cares about you, he will stop talking about her in the context that he is. Don't expect him to never mention her again, like i said, she is a part of his life, whether you like it or not. So basically the wife misses attending parties with her husband and her sister because it makes YOU feel uncomfortable? Ok what is wrong with this picture?
ALTTITUDE Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I guess the picture of him being a married man was the missed picture. What a shame. I can not believe someone would be so self-centered. So she parties on with the wifs's sister. But the wife is staying home. Excuse me for a moment:sick: So basically the wife misses attending parties with her husband and her sister because it makes YOU feel uncomfortable? Ok what is wrong with this picture?
stillhere Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 So basically the wife misses attending parties with her husband and her sister because it makes YOU feel uncomfortable? Ok what is wrong with this picture? Here we go again. First of all, she didn't know about the "party" because it wasn't one. Her sister unexpectedly showed up at the bar. She didn't know i was gonna be there. And his W wouldn't have gone anyways, only if he would have wanted to go. So it would have been his decision to go or not, and he made the decision not to go. If it's a work party or something of that sort, i have no problem with it. He doesn't like the way guys talk to me at the bar (including his brother in law and all of his friends and family) so he chooses not to go to bars where he will become irritated. We made that choice together, to not have him present where he will become easily upset with drunken morons. I don't care if you don't like it, it's a choice that we made.
Romeo Must Die Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 BedRoomVoice - I think as long as you are in a relationship with this MM, his wife will always be an issue. You have just stepped into the MM's relationship with his wife, not the other way around. You arent going to just make her go away by refusing to discuss her existance. I can already see that you are competing for a relationship with someone you dont even know anything about. He is a MM looking outside the relationship for a little bit of fulfillment and he can always go back to that relationship at any time. He will still be just as married to her tomorrow as he is married to her today. If you have issues about it now, try to imagine yourself with the same issues a year from now. Or six years from now. Get the big picture? And since he is talking about his wife that means he still cares about her, and ignoring her will not change how much he cares about her and making love to him isnt going to make him love her any less than he does now. He is just compartmentalizing you and the wife seperately. Saying he has a high sex drive is simply a justification to do whatever he feels entitled to do outside his marriage, and it's wrong. You are going through all this just going to end up getting hurt? I cant understand why. Because it feels good? The little bit of good feelings that you have built up for yourself now is just going to crash later. Why???
herenow Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 You have a problem much larger than the fact that he talks about his wife. I'm basing my opinion on the little info that I have from your posts, but it seems to me that this MM is using you to fulfill his sexual fantasies. His wife isn't into the stuff that he is doing with you and he lets you know that. You said that he talks about how his wife feels about sex, but he is obviously not unhappy enough about it to leave the marriage. You are filling the need and it won't matter if he stops talking about it, he is with you because he gets the sex from you that he doesn't get at home. He is being honest with you when he tells you exactly that, and asking him to stop telling you won't change anything except you not having to hear the truth. JMHO
Kathleen Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 BRE, Are you in love with this man or are YOU just in it for the sex also?
herenow Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 BRE, Are you in love with this man or are YOU just in it for the sex also? Good point. If it's all about sex for both of them, then there is no need to talk about anything.
Kathleen Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 Right & if it's just a FWB deal, what he says about his wife wouldn't matter. (But if BRE is asking this question in her first thread, maybe it IS more than just sex???)
herenow Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 Right & if it's just a FWB deal, what he says about his wife wouldn't matter. (But if BRE is asking this question in her first thread, maybe it IS more than just sex???) Well, if you are right and you very well could be. She may honestly just not want to hear about the wife and get right to business. All she has to say to MM is "shut up and **** me" and the problem is solved.
Guest Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 GOsh, I am so glad that my relationship is over although I am very mad and I can hardly sleep out night for replaying different scenese through my head. My MM did the same thing to me. He talked about wanting to have sex with couples because he liked the feeling of different skins touching. Or he at least wanted to have someone watching us in the room. He also talked about his wife....not a lot...but he said that she only likes basic sex and that's it. He said that she does not give oral or like to receive oral. She is not sexually expressive. He also said that she doesn't do anything to turn him on to get him hard and so he has to work at it. So I believed that I was special because he said he never had anyone as open as me. And I think the forbidden sex made it feel better. When he did things, he did it probably as if he didn't know if it would be the last time that he would be able to do it and so he was the best! It really was good. WE both let go and I think it's because we didn't have to put on a front for each other. He was married and sleeping with me and I was willing to put up with one hour of fun. But when D-Day happened the same day that we were together. I performed oral on him while we were on the highway. And he played with me. We hugged and he went home. He was caught because of emails and I haven't seen him since. It's been about a month. So BRE...I was here in this forum back in July and lurked around in denial that I would get hurt or come to a crashing end. But it did. I am okay that it is over but I am not okay about how he went back to his wife AS IF I was chasing him, needy and just couldn't get enough of him. I mean she really said that she thought I was "stuck on stupid" but she is the one stuck with him. And I am sure he didn't tell her that I just sucked his **** yet he probably screwed her that evening. I am graphic and telling you this because I am currently "cleaning house" in my life. I am scrubbing the corners and dealing with what I put myself through. Now that he is not standing inf ront of me and telling me "hey beautiful, I love you. I am your friend. I want you. blah, blah, blach,..." I get to see him and what I really had. It's so much clearer. My advice to ANYONE out there who is dating a married man, figure out what you want to walk away. Get over wanting to be with him and married to him. If you need a new bed, then get his money and get a new bed. If you need a trip to Greece, then get that from him. And keep him on a string. And once you get it, END IT! DOn't wait for D-Day because that is what hurts the most. These men love to give their women power and control over you. Just end it and then he will have to figure out some other reason to "save" his marriage. Don't become the "Jesus" in their life who is crucified on the cross.
LNF_Clone Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 I guess the picture of him being a married man was the missed picture. What a shame. I can not believe someone would be so self-centered. So she parties on with the wifs's sister. But the wife is staying home. Excuse me for a moment:sick: hey NF puppet LNF puppet here. are you the lemon zester of distruction? you don't know what panties are, yet you feel compelled to raid
lovernotafighter Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 hey NF puppet LNF puppet here. are you the lemon zester of distruction? you don't know what panties are, yet you feel compelled to raid Hey sockie, I love NF right down to her black soul take your destructive sand crabs else where
Seen_It_All Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 I like that he can talk to me about anything. Well that's good. That means the subject of his wife is only a little part of this vast communication you claim to share with him. Hey, at least he can still share his midget fantasies with you - that's a good thing, right? Maybe there's a Midget AdultFriendFinder website he can place his profile on. Yeah, I know, I know...I'm 'mean' and you're going to cry for 3 hours now. Sorry guys, couldn't resist playing with the troll.
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