Lostgurl Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 An hour ago my cousin and his wife just lost their 16 month old daughter to pnuemonia. She was flown to the city yesterday, and tonight they lost her. Her family cherished her, all of our family did. She was so beautiful and cheery. I just can't imagine what they are going through right now. My heart is aching for them and for her two sisters.
polywog Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 That's devastating. My heartfelt (words are inadequate) sympathy to all. I can't imagine anything sadder for your family. My thoughts and prayers are going out to them, and you....
Sassy Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 Wow !! So sorry to hear that . :( Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers . I miscarried last November and it was so hard . Hugs to you and your family.
Author Lostgurl Posted January 30, 2007 Author Posted January 30, 2007 Thanks to the both of you. I just can't imagine what they are feeling. I've only had the pleasure of meeting her once or twice. But my cousin, and godmother (aunt) and Jen............ I'm sick at the thought of the pain that they are feeling right now. The father and i were inseparable until we grew apart.. but i can feel his pain. My aunt.... All she could talk about were her precious grandkids... We haven't ever had a premature death in the family and a beautiful baby.... ****..... Crap... I just can't sort it out in my head how it happened just.. like that.. ya know?
Pyro Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I'm so sorry for your family's loss LG. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you tonight.
Author Lostgurl Posted January 30, 2007 Author Posted January 30, 2007 Thanks so much Rids. I just can't imagine what they are going through right now. The whole family is still in the city. I'm at a loss for words, I just can't imagine what they are feeling right now...
whichwayisup Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 That is awful and sad news, my heart goes out to you all. I don't know what else to say, except that I'm sorry this has happened.
quankanne Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 please give my condolences to your family – it's hard losing someone you love, but when that loved one is a child ... it seems so unjust and cruel. in your grief, know that your little cousin created a great circle of love around her during her short time with you, and that is something your family will always cherish. hugs and prayers, quank
Great Gazoo Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 Sorry LG for the bad news, thats tough, its the hardest thing to go through in life, my thoughts go out to you and your family, take care
Author Lostgurl Posted January 30, 2007 Author Posted January 30, 2007 please give my condolences to your family – it's hard losing someone you love, but when that loved one is a child ... it seems so unjust and cruel. in your grief, know that your little cousin created a great circle of love around her during her short time with you, and that is something your family will always cherish. hugs and prayers, quank Thanks Quan, That was very beautiful. Eve such a sweetheart. I just can't stop thinking about her mom and dad. They must be just devastated. I just can't imagine losing a child.
Woggle Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I can't imagine losing a child. My heart goes out to them and while it does not make it better she is in heaven right now.
RocketMan2 Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 Sorry to hear that My thoughts are with you Rocket
MotherGooze Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I'm so sorry to hear about this. I just don't know what to say...I wish all the strenght and support to get through this for all family and friends... I couldn't imagine losing my son...I would be devestated.
Author Lostgurl Posted January 30, 2007 Author Posted January 30, 2007 Thank you all for your kind words. I just can't stop thinking about it. I put myself in their shoes and at the thought of losing one of my girls, my chest tightens to the point where i can't breathe. Then i think of my poor cousin and his wife and wonder oh god, what they are feeling and how they are going to feel for the rest of their lives.
littlekitty Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 So, so sorry to hear that LG. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this sorrow filled time.
quankanne Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I just can't stop thinking about her mom and dad. They must be just devastated. I just can't imagine losing a child. my mom and I talked about it once, right after my brother died. She said that she always thought she or Daddy would go first, not one of their children. And I think that's maybe how we all feel, that it's our elders we expect to leave first because that's the natural order of things, not losing a child of 36 years, or 16 months, or even through miscarriage. It just goes against the way we feel life should progress ... lost, whatever you do, don't hesitate to remember their little one when they're ready to talk about her, because keeping her memory alive validates that she was once there, and that others felt the same love for her that her mom and dad did. Just follow their cues – and surround them with love. Thanks Quank you're very welcome ... my nephew and his wife are going through their second miscarriage within a six-month period, and they had their hearts set on those babies. Even though this has hit the family hard, I keep thinking about how much joy there was when we first learned they were expecting. And I wanted John and Kelli to know that even though we didn't get to meet their babies, that the love those little ones brought has been such a special gift to the family. I imagine that feeling is magnified with your baby cousin, who graced your family for those 16 months. more hugs to your family, q
Kamille Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 So sorry to hear that Lostgurl! i don't think anyone who has been there can imagine what they must be going through! you will all find the strenght to get through this! all my prayers go to your family. K
blind_otter Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how painful it must be to lose a child. Losing an elderly family member is somehow easier, because it is to be expected that the elderly will pass away.
Author Lostgurl Posted January 30, 2007 Author Posted January 30, 2007 I just can't stop thinking about her mom and dad. They must be just devastated. I just can't imagine losing a child. my mom and I talked about it once, right after my brother died. She said that she always thought she or Daddy would go first, not one of their children. And I think that's maybe how we all feel, that it's our elders we expect to leave first because that's the natural order of things, not losing a child of 36 years, or 16 months, or even through miscarriage. It just goes against the way we feel life should progress ... lost, whatever you do, don't hesitate to remember their little one when they're ready to talk about her, because keeping her memory alive validates that she was once there, and that others felt the same love for her that her mom and dad did. Just follow their cues – and surround them with love. We seem to take life for granted alot. One moment you see a loved one alive and smiling. The next moment they are gone. I remember seeing Jen driving down the road the other day with a smile on her face, she never quit smiling.. Never known someone so cheery as her. Little did she know that she was going to lose her baby a week later. Eve must have got the 2 week flu that was going around and got a chill that developed into pnuemonia. My girls and i just got over that same flu... It sure makes you think about how fragile life really is. Thanks Quank you're very welcome ... my nephew and his wife are going through their second miscarriage within a six-month period, and they had their hearts set on those babies. Even though this has hit the family hard, I keep thinking about how much joy there was when we first learned they were expecting. And I wanted John and Kelli to know that even though we didn't get to meet their babies, that the love those little ones brought has been such a special gift to the family. I imagine that feeling is magnified with your baby cousin, who graced your family for those 16 months. more hugs to your family, q I'm so sorry to hear about your loss also. A miscarriage is a heartbreaking thing to go through. A child born, or unborn is the most precious gift that anyone can ever recieve. But remembering the joy that they brought, in their brief moments on earth is a gift in it's self. I'm sure that those words touched your nephew and his wife's hearts immensely. Take care, Lost.
ilmw Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 So sorry to hear. I could not imagine losing my own child... it would be a devastating nightmare. So all I can say is... I feel for their's and your families loss.. This is a time for family to surround your cousin and his wife with love and support.
Author Lostgurl Posted January 30, 2007 Author Posted January 30, 2007 I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how painful it must be to lose a child. Losing an elderly family member is somehow easier, because it is to be expected that the elderly will pass away. Yes B_O i can't really express how true that is. I was thinking about that this morning. My Uncle, whom was close to our immediate family died of cancer 2 years ago. We could see it comming. It wasn't a shock. I knew him ALOT more than i knew Baby Eve, yet i find myself greiving alot more for her than i did for my Uncle. I almost feel guilty greiving more for her than i did for my uncle because i knew him alot better.
blind_otter Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 The unexpectedness of the situation is probably part of the grief. From what I've read grief from unexpected deaths seems to be more intense and painful that grief from expected deaths.
RocketMan2 Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 The unexpectedness of the situation is probably part of the grief. From what I've read grief from unexpected deaths seems to be more intense and painful that grief from expected deaths. I think thats the same with any loss, death or break up. If you know its coming you have time to prepare, even if you aren't consciously aware of any "getting over it" taking place. As Quack said, you need to surround them with love and 'follow their cues'. People with often drop subtle hints when grieving, looking for comfort. Make sure you're paying attention for them. If you do pick up on something and ask them about it, they are likely to deny it even if its true, so do be persistent (but dont nag obviously) Rocket
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