vanilla chai Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 art critic, there are too many complicated things involved for it to be that simple. yes, in a perfect world MM would leave W to be with the OW if he was truly in love with her, but we all know that sometimes people who love each other can not be together for one reason or another. when there are other people involved that stand to be hurt then the situation is so much more complicated and not so black and white like you make it seem. Complicated? I call them excuses. If the mm wanted out his marriage so bad nothing,and I mean nothing would stop him.
whichwayisup Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I like to think of his wife as totally non existant. I just want him to be able to tell me everything but I dont like thinking or talking about her. Well, she is real, very real...She does exist.
NoIDidn't Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 NID, here i go............in conversation, my MM and I agreed that we wouldn't have sex, since i was worried that's what our R was coming to, only sex. Well, i broke that little contract. I want sex all the time, and he's the one who has a hard time keeping up with me! I'd do it 3 times a day, every day if i got the chance. Right now, i'll deal with my 4-5 times a week. I wasn't the one that said to try not having sex, but I am curious about this one thing. How long did you manage to go without sex before you ended up breaking the contract? I myself can last a month or so, but never two whole women's cycles, if you KWIM
Author BedRoomVoice Posted January 30, 2007 Author Posted January 30, 2007 I know she exists but I dont like thinking about her. I mean really she is the last thing on my mind when we are together. I might sound selfish. But I have to be truthful. I dont think if she ever found out about me she would want to think about me. Like I mentioned I like our free flowing conversations. I just wish hearing about her thoughts on sex and stuff would stop. Well, she is real, very real...She does exist.
whichwayisup Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I dont think if she ever found out about me she would want to think about me You're wrong. Go read threads in the infidelity section. The betrayed spouse WANTS the 411 on the OW/OM. Trust me, you WILL be on her mind if you two get caught. She'll be very real, more than you like her to be, because she'll want to talk to you, want answers. In all honesty, if you can't say to the MM "I don't want to talk about your sex life with your wife, what she does/doesn't do in bed, etc.." then you have to put up with it. I don't understand why you're afraid to tell him that, to stand up to him. Are you worried he'll tell you goodbye because you're not letting him have his way every single time? Or you two will fight?
NoIDidn't Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 More with the removing sex from the equation thingy: When I was a young, foolish teenager who had already been sexually active (long story involving childhood issues), I had what I thought was a R going with a guy that I was extremely infatuated with (really thought he was the one). Not that this is the case with anyone posting here, just sharing a story. He only came around for "hit and runs". And without anyone suggesting to me to remove the sex, I decided that I just wanted to spend some time with him without having to "put out", so to speak. Well, he came over expecting his fix, and I told him. He said to me "then what's the point of me coming over then?" He was a total pr*ck. A good looking one, but a pr*ck nonetheless. He realized what he said (one of those "did-I-just-say-that-out-loud moments) and took it back and apologized for making it seem like he only wanted sex. Well, I wasn't convinced and sent him on his way. I found out later that he had a serious GF. We did have sex one last time, but it wasn't until I started missing him three months later. My point: don't test the relationship by actually saying that you don't want to have sex for couple time purposes unless you are prepared for ALL possible responses. I wasn't prepared and it hurt a lot.
stillhere Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I wasn't the one that said to try not having sex' date=' but I am curious about this one thing. How long did you manage to go without sex before you ended up breaking the contract? I myself can last a month or so, but never two whole women's cycles, if you KWIM [/quote'] LOL! No, but you did say "before all the OW that will say that THEIR A's are different". That's why i quoted you!! Anyways, I didn't make it a week. For me, that's a long time!!! If i'm going to start my period, i need it the day before and immediately after it's almost done. He used to freak at the first sign of blood, but now he's much more relaxed!!
NoIDidn't Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I feel ya. I said that to make sure that everyone knew that I wasn't making a generalization. Just seems like hers in only in it for the sex. On the other topic, when I didn't have children, I couldn't have lasted for 48 hours. But add in the children, and I might miss it but may not have the energy for it. Man, that makes me sound and feel old....LOL
Ladyjane14 Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I want to tell him to stop but I dont want to break our communication. Since you're clearly uncomfortable with telling the guy what's okay with you and what isn't... maybe you should try making one of those subliminal message tapes....or writing it down and hiding it in a fortune cookie or something. :lmao: Sheesh.... I think you've got bigger communications problems than you're willing to recognize ALREADY.
pricillia Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I think that he is using the fact that he may and I say may get what he does not at home for you to feel sorry for him and give him the sex he needs, like he is challenging you to out preform her. I think sex is a healthy part of a relationship as well, but he is just getting extra from you... He is talking about her for a few different reasons because he wants you to know that she does exist the relationship is real and that he is comparing her to you and again that make you want to please him it is a mind game... please do not get hurt!!!
BurntInNJ Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I am so confused about all this MM and OW stuff. We are very active in the bedroom. That is never a problem. He talks alot about his wife and what she isnt willing to do in the bedroom. I dont know if I can take much more of this talk. I really dont care if she doesnt like anal, or doesnt swallow. He has basically told me that this was the start of the end of their marriage. My question is to the OW out there on here. Does your MM talk about his home life or how his bedroom life with his wife use to be? I want to tell him to stop but I dont want to break our communication. My exMM never spoke about his bedroom life EVER! We would talk about our families - but mostly about our kids and normal everyday things, sports - school stuff, etc. Your MM sounds like a real @$$ - and in my opinion your are nothing but his new sex toy! Sorry for sounding so harsh - but he is disrespecting you and his family!
Izzar Posted March 30, 2007 Posted March 30, 2007 I am not filling any needs he isnt getting at home. But I have to say we both love sex. And so much of it. I think its more for him having someone with the same sexual desire. I just dont really talking about her. I like to think of his wife as totally non existant. He tells me alot about how things started to fall apart in his marriage and how he would like to do things differnet in this relationship. He tried introducing different ways to have sex earlier in their marriage. He feels a healthy sexual relationship promotes a healthy relationship. And I believe this also. I just want him to be able to tell me everything but I dont like thinking or talking about her. For example : He told me she thinks anal sex is a disrepectful act. That only streetwalkers and porn actresses do that. I told him that wasnt true. But really I didnt need to hear what she thought. :lmao: OMG This is too funny. I missed a good one it looks like. Sorry, Needed a laugh on this lousy day I'm having. Is BRV still posting on LS somewhere?
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