SouthernT Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 First let me remind everybody of who this guy is. I posted the following statement back in December: Ok guys...help me out. I met a guy through a co-worker at dinner one night. A few days later he asked her for my number. He called just about every day/every other day for about a month and a half. Then one night we have a conversation that HE INITIATED. He basically said...I really like you and mabye here in about a month or so we may have a discussion about taking things to the next level. But I want to make sure that you are mentally and emotionally ready for it. My response was..."Do you really see it happening that fast? That sounds cool and I'm willing to give it a try." Every girls dream right? ...... Well he hasn't called since that day. It's been a month since I've heard anything from him. I've called him once (mabye twice) a week with no response from him. As of last week, I stopped callin all together. OK...back to the present moment. So last weekend he text me out the blue and asked how I was doing and if i wanted to hang out with him and a couple of friends. So i played it cool and met up with him. He was on me ALL night long. And eventually throughout the night he told me "I wanted to apologize for the way things happened but I had my reasons for it. I was really starting to like you a whole lot and my ex was still causing drama for me at the time. And I didnt want you to have to go through all of that. And the reason I invited you out tonight is because I wanted to tell you everything to your face." And so since then he's called a couple of times with just really light conversation. So what does everybody (men and women) think? Does he get a clean slate? Should all be forgiven with a second chance?
Arianna72 Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 I don't really believe there is any such thing as a "totally clean slate". I would say sure give him a second chance but proceed with caution. I remember reading your last thread and while his reasoning about not wanting to involve you in "drama" seems commendable he certainly could have at least called you to tell you what was going on. To me not doing so shows a certain lack of empathy/consideration that I don’t find very appealing.
Krytellan Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 Yeah, proceed with caution. He has already demonstrated that he is not exactly good at communicating what is going on... he would rather bail with no contact than tell you what is going on (which I think he is lying, but anyway). Be prepared for a relationship of secrecy or noncommital.
Lauriebell82 Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 i agree u should proceed with caution. i can see both sides of this, i dated my current bf about a year ago for a month. i had just broken up with my ex a couple months prior to meeting him, and i treated him like crap, mainly because i was still hung up on my ex bf. i really cared about him but i still was selfish and mean to him and expected him to pay for everything for me all the time. one night we got in a fight and i called him all sorts of names and he broke up wtih me. fast forward 9 months and i saw him again, this time i was over my ex and was willing to compromise more and begin a healthy relationship. so 6 months later we are totally in love and have such a great relationship. i guess what i'm getting at is i can kind of indentify with this guy's situation and reasoning. yeah he acted like a jerk, but i think u should give him a chance because he might surprise u. maybe he will be this wonderful guy who u will fall head of heels for. of course this may not happen, so maybe u should tell him u would like to take things slow and see what happens. thats what my bf told me when we first started seeing each other again. he was scared i would hurt him again, and although i am different now he still was scared in the beginning. he's over it now though, so hopefully this guy will realize what a jerk he was and not screw u over. again just ease into and see what happens.
Confused77 Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 I would go real slow. You deserved an explaination and a reason for him disappearing....but why did he wait so long???? Why did he not tell you what was going on??? It seems to me like he is pulling the strings, and you are the puppet.... Maybe innocent, but also may not be. I would ask him to eloborate more to the reasoning behind him saying nice things, and wanting you to be emotionally stable, but how stable is he????? I would give it time, and keep up hte wall until you can see the truth...it may be innocent
Author SouthernT Posted January 30, 2007 Author Posted January 30, 2007 Yeah I'm definetly proceeding with caution now. But its kinda good thought because it made me slow down and put things in perspective. The first time we started talking, he would call everyday and I would panic if he went a day or two without calling. But now I feel like we're kind of starting of slower. I dont allow myself to "expect" anything so that I'm not dissapointed. When we talk now, I just treat every conversation like its going to be the last conversation. Its the only way I can keep myself from being overly anxious. I let him initiate EVERYTHING now. I let him call me. The only time I call him is if he left me a message specifically saying "hey, give me a call" I dont initiate anything. But I will say this however, If by some miracle we do end up in a relationship, we are going to have a serious conversation about my fear of his tendancy just "bail out" when he feels like it and without any discussion with me about it. A big part of me feels like he is genuine, he hasnt pushed up on me for sex or anything like that. But then again, with men....you just never know what their true agendas are.......
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