UGHdating Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 FIRST ID LIKE TO SAY THE FOLLOWING I appreciate everyones feedback! YOU GUYS ROCK *sigh* I love this site. Okay Soo The player and I are seeing each other again...I am so freaked out - freaked out about getting hurt, BUT HAVE NOW DECIEDED TO TAKE A CHANCE. So I told him how I really feel. I told him I like him and basically spilled everything to him and that I wanted to see where it could go. And I asked him if it was worth it for me to pursue him. He of course said nothing that I wanted to hear, as he said, he wasn't looking for a relationship but he does like hanging out with me and would like to continue to hang out, but couldn't promise me anything. I said fine as I am not expecting anything...yet. In lieu of this, I have also told him since we are going to be seeing each other again we cannot have sex (though we did previously)... as much as I would like to I can't as least not for awhile...not until I am ready. Surprisingly though he was okay with it. He did however insisted that he take care of me....meaning hed go downtown (ie oral) on me - and he did - twice! OMG, he is pretty damn good. In the beginning when he sugeested it, I told him no because its not fair to him...but he insisted and did it anyways, i really tried to refuse but he made it soo damn hard. I felt so awful afterwards because I really wanted to repay the favor but I couldn't brign myself to do it because I am not ready for it emotionally. It sounds so highschool, as I am 30 years old but I am soo scared of getting hurt again I don't want to f*ck it up with sex. Sex makes things soo complicated. IN any case, I guess I am just going to play it by ear and take things as face value, not try to over think things. AND TAKE IT SLOW. BUt back to his so called player status.... The other reason why I stated the no sex rule, was because of what my coworker lets call him Jacob, told me. Jacob is a really good friend of mine, pretty much my best friend in the office. He told me he had hung out with the players roomate, lets call him Terence, who also is the players BEST FRIEND and also our co worker. Terence and Jacob are the only two people in our office who know about the player & I. Anways while Jacob was out with Terence the conversation turn somehow onto me. Terence had been drinking earlier and had been a bit drunk and told Jacob that he couldn't believe I was still interested in the player even after he had tried to warn me about the player. And terence had told Jacob that although he loves the player, like his own brother he is SUCH a player and he would not even introduce his own sister to the player because of how he is. *sigh* this is not what I like to hear. and this is why I am sooo skeptical of him. And just don't want to end up being used. Was I right to take it slow and instill the no sex rule until I feel comfortable to start having it again? And MORE IMPORTANTLY DO most guys really mean it when they say they are not looking for a relationship, but yet says he wants to hang out even though he knows he is not getting sex or anything in return, BUT at the same time will give the girl oral - TWICE? I'm soo confused. PS HERE ARE MY OTHER POSTS: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t105490/ [FONT="]http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t103611/[/FONT] http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t103282/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t102146/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t101703/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t101302/
justagirliegirl Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 My opinion on this hasn't changed from what it was 3 months ago. He isn't emotionally available. He doesn't want a relationship and he told you that. He likes sex when he can get it. That's all. What is it you hope to gain from pursuing him?
Javelin Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 UGHdating, Apparently this is all fun & games to you; like a challange persay. What is it you hope to gain from pursuing him? I'd like to know the answer to this question, as well.
Marielle Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 All I can say is either escape, and prevent yourself from more damage, or just play his game, be a player too... But him saying he wants nothing serious, YOU telling him ok, but no sex, and him "pretending to accept it" like a puppy but offering you "all about you sex" is part of the game, he wants to warm you u p to go back to normal, so you give up on no-sex rule... And the biggest red flag is his best friend "Terrence" admitting what you already know. We all dream of taming the player, but is it worth the effort??
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 I am sooo skeptical of him. Well, he told you point blank he doesn't want a relationship and that he wants to still "hang out" (have sex, or sexual contact). I think you are reading way, way too much into the "hang out" part and not enough to the "I don't want a relationship" part. People who are crushing tend to see what they want to, and pay attention only to those parts that seem to work for them. Big mistake. And just don't want to end up being used. You are giving him permission to use you, so if you get used you only have yourself to blame.
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