kimba Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 Does anyone have any stories about No Contact where a dumped person has implemented it to get friend or partner back and its actually worked??
magichands Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 If you do it right, they are guaranteed to come back.
Author kimba Posted January 29, 2007 Author Posted January 29, 2007 yeah magic, but How should it be implemented? Like if someone tells you THEY don't want to see you anymore and so you oblige by not contacting them, aren't you just doing exactly what they wanted?Wouldn't the dumper, in most cases be happy with that?? and thats that??
magichands Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 The trick is not to announce it. Just do it. Soon enough, they become desperate for your attention.
Author kimba Posted January 29, 2007 Author Posted January 29, 2007 The trick is not to announce it. Just do it. Soon enough, they become desperate for your attention. ok, but what if the dumper has said THEY don't want anymore contact with me and that it is over and not to phone again- who am I to go all No Contact with them??? Wouldn't i just be doing as they requested??? This is someone who, in the same breath, agrees that he misses me. :confused:
magichands Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 This is someone who, in the same breath, agrees that he misses me. He'll miss you more when you pretend not to miss him. Anyway, I thought we were getting it on? We can send him the pictures.
Author kimba Posted January 29, 2007 Author Posted January 29, 2007 Anyway, I thought we were getting it on? We can send him the pictures. I'm just keeping you in the wings. I'm keeping it Low Contact with you for now---whoops!!!! i wasn't supposed to tell you ... i'm supposed to just do it.... need to start writing these rules down....
Author kimba Posted January 29, 2007 Author Posted January 29, 2007 He'll miss you more when you pretend not to miss him. i know what you are saying but - i won't be seeing him or bumping into him anywhere- so he's not going to know what I'm thinking or feeling or "pretending". All he'll know is that he hasn't heard from me
paris38 Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 I have been dumped and done the NC thing and not heard from the guy again. usually yes, you do hear from them at some point, but not always. If it has gotten to the point where they really, truly have no spark for you anymore, they can leave without looking back. Also if they left you because they wanted to date other people, or had already started dating someone in particular....very possible also you won't hear from them. Plus, my ex DID contact me wanting to get together but nothing happened with it, he sincerely did just want to catch up on stuff, no big get together reunion thing. I just didn't want to get anyone's hopes up.
magichands Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 I'm feeling the pressure, and you're both confusing me.
dropdeadlegs Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 No contact will not bring someone back that has no desire to come back. It only works in that capacity when one partner initiates it and that partner or the other partner has feelings of doubt/confusion about the breakup. For most people it works better in it's other usage - moving on. Whether you be the dumper or the dumpee, NC gives you time to move on without interfering/lingering thoughts about the other person. If your ex does not desire to have contact, contacting them usually irritates them and pushes them farther away. As far as getting them back, I think the dumpee has a better chance of achieving that through NC because if you are not pursuing them, they sometimes want you back. They sometimes miss you, even if they initiated NC. I would say that since he asked you not to contact him, you shouldn't. Since he said he stated that he misses you, it would work to your advantage to let him miss you. If you keep contacting him, he can't miss you. I still wouldn't hold my breath.
Author kimba Posted January 29, 2007 Author Posted January 29, 2007 No, I am not really in any danger of ringing him because I don't want to look like a stalker. Its just hard to believe that someone who misses me wants no more contact. Since he said he stated that he misses you, it would work to your advantage to let him miss you how long is that going to take?????
magichands Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 how long is that going to take????? Could be hours, days, or even months. You need to find someone... I mean, something to occupy your time.
dropdeadlegs Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 No, I am not really in any danger of ringing him because I don't want to look like a stalker. Its just hard to believe that someone who misses me wants no more contact. Since he said he stated that he misses you, it would work to your advantage to let him miss you how long is that going to take????? There is no definitive answer to that question. My best answer based on nothing more than your posts is at least a month, more likely two. Sometimes three or four. Are you prepared to wait that long? Most people can't, they are too consumed with being with someone. Missing someone and changing your mind about a breakup takes more than a few days. How long has it been?
Author kimba Posted January 29, 2007 Author Posted January 29, 2007 i need to point out that its just a very close male friend that I am talking about. My best friend. He decided around the first week of january. Then i got all clingy and panicked (?!) and i think that scared him away pretty much. Then it was last thursday i rang to see how he felt and he said: "the friendship is over and No, i haven't had any doubts since i made my mind up a few weeks ago, and I miss you and i still care for you but i will not be changing my mind" Im thinkin he hadn't had "any doubts" because of how clingy i got when he first said we mightn't be seeing each other anymore. So he's been used to me trying to win him back for the last few weeks- so i'm thinking no that i'm NC he might really start missing me. I don't know.
magichands Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 so i'm thinking no that i'm NC he might really start missing me. I don't know. Give it a try. I know that the last hour has been hell for me... waiting for you to post again.
Author kimba Posted January 29, 2007 Author Posted January 29, 2007 I know, its really all about you magic, you and me and that...trunk o yours...
magichands Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 You spoilt it! I was really beginning to miss you again. There could have been a hot fantasy in the making.
Green Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 I agree with dropdeadlegs NC works great for moving on with your life I mean its like magic if you avoid any and all contact for about 6 weeks you'll be completely over them. Now I once wrote a girl a letter saying "ur cruel making me fall for you like this, I wish I had never met you and I think I'm going to just live life as if I never did" and some how that got her back when she had been ignoring my phone calls for a week but the relationship fell back apart over another fight the next week but I did get one last hot time with her because of that email 4 some reason after she read that she started calling me like crazy I wasnt answering the phone and she called like 4 times with in the hour until I answered hehe but thats the only time something like that has worked...
Author kimba Posted January 29, 2007 Author Posted January 29, 2007 Stop calling me and driving past- its over magic! you need to get on with your life!! NC
magichands Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 You'll be back. I've seen the lustful look in your eyes. Eyes never lie.
magichands Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 Just tell me you don't love me anymore, and I won't bother you again.
Author kimba Posted January 29, 2007 Author Posted January 29, 2007 i'm not sure though. i need some space
magichands Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 I'll do anything. I'll fly you to the moon. And we can watch the Earthrise together.
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