Guest Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 i have been compiling a list of things i have either done wrong or things she does not like about me and would like to change - i have done the same for the positive side its a landslide - no contest. i have so many things to repair before i even consider her wanting me again. but that's just me saying - that, i already have all the requirements, she just has a 'list' of what she wants - not who i am. if she took another look at this she would see that what she is saying and telling me is that she has an image of the man she wants and believes she can dress me up in that fashion but that's not WANTing me - its wanting what is her image. but i also understand that part of this is explaining who she is and what i can do, but at some point it becomes depersonalized - like i am a KEN doll that she wants to play with. i know the love is deep and true but the path back has been demeaning and the more i become the man i always was and the more she sees that - the list gets bigger, the delay gets longer, and i become text on a computer screen and not a real person in her life. i do not treat her this way. i support and listen and don't tell her to change a single thing - just be herself because that's the woman i love. i think i should log out now and get ready for judge judy on friday. that's what is important right now - not whether i trim my balls and wear a cowboy hat while having a 3some - lol. good nite folks sweet dreams anne luv ya babe
Star Gazer Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 I'm assuming you were a math major? I think you're over analyzing your doubts here...perfectly natural, IMO.
Rooster_DAR Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 What she's looking for is a dominant male. This is just another example of how modern liberted women say the opposite of what they really want. They say they want nice and sensitive, but we all know that in the end, nice and sensitive aren't gonna cut it. A woman has to know that her man can dominate her. Women need to be controlled. That's not male chauvinism, that's sexual reality. Women feel weird around guys who can't behave like men...which is why they will eventually end up seeking out a guy who can (even if she's already married). This has some true connotations to it, I think women are now seeing they need a real man. I do still think for the most part women are still confused though (generally speaking), but in the end they will appreciate a man who stands his ground as a man and won't put up with any bullsh**t. Good post!
D-Lish Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 I know I respect someone who doesn't let me get away with BS.
Rooster_DAR Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 On another note, I still believe this all has to do with the natural aspect of human attraction. Women, just like men, go through periods in life where they get bored with their partner, and they also have sexual urges for some strange, however women have the whole emotional thing going on which throws a new perspective into the mix. It's all about realization, that these emotions and feeling do exist, and if we want a monogamous relationship we need to understand these feelings and create boundaries that will help keep us in check, and much of it starts with good communication.
dropdeadlegs Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 I know I respect someone who doesn't let me get away with BS. I do , too, as long as he doesn't expect to get away with BS.
Davis Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 RoosterDAR: you're right, it's part of the primal laws of human attraction and it is complicated! I think Amerik's general point was right: women want to be controlled. Maybe not controlled per se, but they are attracted to the "strong" or dominant male. Part of that means, as you said, being a man. Control can be a sign of domination, i.e. strength. I think if you're too controlling, it is human nature to want to escape that situation. I also think that control can be seen as weakness and indifference can be seen as strength. Just as an example, which is more attractive or drawing to a woman when she says she's going "out with the girls": the guy that gets all uptight, jealous, calls all night and tracks her down or the guy that is indifferent and says "cool, have a good night, i'm going out with the guys"? I think the second guy shows strength, the first shows he's not a real man, that he's not confident. Guess which type of guy she will be thinking about and cannot wait to see? I think we respect people that do not put up with bs. That can be a sign of strength and hence attractive. Not putting up with bs -> appears as strength -> appears attractive. On the other hand, some people put up with bs and we don't respect them. They appear weaker, less dominant and less attractive. I know, I know a lot can depend on personalities and other factors! I also think women "test" a man in an ongoing way to see if the man is truly strong; if they are truly a dominant male that they should stay with. I think as men, when we're in a relationship, we tend to put up with more bs from our women or we subordinate to them or we become "whipped". What happens? Women lose attraction for us because we a no longer the respected, strong, dominant male that they initially were attracted to! Why do you think women stay with "jerks"? Because while they may have disdain for the "jerks" behavior many women see that as strength and attractive. D-Lish and Dropdead: I can tell from your last posts that clearly you are attracted to men that don't put up with bs, i.e. men that show they are strong and a dominant male!! Interesting how you girls help prove my point! Isn't all this psychology about attraction fun? Just call me Dr. Freud!! haha! jk!
Rooster_DAR Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 RoosterDAR: you're right, it's part of the primal laws of human attraction and it is complicated! I think Amerik's general point was right: women want to be controlled. Maybe not controlled per se, but they are attracted to the "strong" or dominant male. Part of that means, as you said, being a man. Control can be a sign of domination, i.e. strength. I think if you're too controlling, it is human nature to want to escape that situation. I also think that control can be seen as weakness and indifference can be seen as strength. Just as an example, which is more attractive or drawing to a woman when she says she's going "out with the girls": the guy that gets all uptight, jealous, calls all night and tracks her down or the guy that is indifferent and says "cool, have a good night, i'm going out with the guys"? I think the second guy shows strength, the first shows he's not a real man, that he's not confident. Guess which type of guy she will be thinking about and cannot wait to see? I think we respect people that do not put up with bs. That can be a sign of strength and hence attractive. Not putting up with bs -> appears as strength -> appears attractive. On the other hand, some people put up with bs and we don't respect them. They appear weaker, less dominant and less attractive. I know, I know a lot can depend on personalities and other factors! I also think women "test" a man in an ongoing way to see if the man is truly strong; if they are truly a dominant male that they should stay with. I think as men, when we're in a relationship, we tend to put up with more bs from our women or we subordinate to them or we become "whipped". What happens? Women lose attraction for us because we a no longer the respected, strong, dominant male that they initially were attracted to! Why do you think women stay with "jerks"? Because while they may have disdain for the "jerks" behavior many women see that as strength and attractive. D-Lish and Dropdead: I can tell from your last posts that clearly you are attracted to men that don't put up with bs, i.e. men that show they are strong and a dominant male!! Interesting how you girls help prove my point! Isn't all this psychology about attraction fun? Just call me Dr. Freud!! haha! jk! Very true! However; this does not always guarantee your woman will be faithful. I've had many friends who were good to their women and were still men, and they just happened to cross a woman who was careless with her emotions. But generally, I believe you have made a correct observation here. Cheers!
SummerRae Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 I agree... it's a TALL order for any man to fulfill. My friend told me this joke that goes something like this: "A man walks into a department store looking for a Woman. So, first he goes to the first floor and finds one that is good looking but bad in bed. So he goes to the second floor and finds one who is good looking and good in bed, he takes her home. That day, a woman comes to the same department store looking for a Man. On the first floor, she finds one who is good looking, good in bed, but not too smart. So she goes to the second floor and finds one that is smart, funny, but not so cute. So she goes to the third floor and finds one that is cute, good in bed, funny and nice. Then she goes to the fourth floor, but NO ONE'S THERE. Moral to the story: Women are never satisfied." This joke sticks w/ me because of the truth behind it. Sometimes, it is possible that us women think and think and THINK ourselves right out of a relationship. It's sometimes a tough call: ride out the waves of our emotions--which could turn back to how they were in the beginning. Or succumb to our lack of feeling and cut it off. Either way, there is a possibility we will have to live with some level of regret. Is there such a thing as a PERFECT man for US?? Or is it all in our heads?
Rooster_DAR Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 I agree... it's a TALL order for any man to fulfill. My friend told me this joke that goes something like this: "A man walks into a department store looking for a Woman. So, first he goes to the first floor and finds one that is good looking but bad in bed. So he goes to the second floor and finds one who is good looking and good in bed, he takes her home. That day, a woman comes to the same department store looking for a Man. On the first floor, she finds one who is good looking, good in bed, but not too smart. So she goes to the second floor and finds one that is smart, funny, but not so cute. So she goes to the third floor and finds one that is cute, good in bed, funny and nice. Then she goes to the fourth floor, but NO ONE'S THERE. Moral to the story: Women are never satisfied." This joke sticks w/ me because of the truth behind it. Sometimes, it is possible that us women think and think and THINK ourselves right out of a relationship. It's sometimes a tough call: ride out the waves of our emotions--which could turn back to how they were in the beginning. Or succumb to our lack of feeling and cut it off. Either way, there is a possibility we will have to live with some level of regret. Is there such a thing as a PERFECT man for US?? Or is it all in our heads? Wow! what a great perspective. This is almost word for word what a couple of other women I know have said as well. While we are generally speaking here, you accurately described something that is more prevalent in our society. It's very rare you find a man who is like this, most men become prone to monogamy once a good level of maturity sets in (after 30 or so) usually in a marriage. I think nearly all women venture this course at some point, but the intelligent women realize this emotion and find a balance that's acceptable. Unfortunatley, many do not and they are stuck in the romantic dream that will keep their lives filled with neverending drama. Great post!
SummerRae Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 Wow! what a great perspective. This is almost word for word what a couple of other women I know have said as well. While we are generally speaking here, you accurately described something that is more prevalent in our society. It's very rare you find a man who is like this, most men become prone to monogamy once a good level of maturity sets in (after 30 or so) usually in a marriage. I think nearly all women venture this course at some point, but the intelligent women realize this emotion and find a balance that's acceptable. Unfortunatley, many do not and they are stuck in the romantic dream that will keep their lives filled with neverending drama. Great post! Thanks Rooster!! I find this topic very facsinating... So much to ponder, don't you think? So you think most men mature at 30? Tell me where they are!! Summer
dropdeadlegs Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 D-Lish and Dropdead: I can tell from your last posts that clearly you are attracted to men that don't put up with bs, i.e. men that show they are strong and a dominant male!! Interesting how you girls help prove my point! Isn't all this psychology about attraction fun? Just call me Dr. Freud!! haha! jk! I won't speak for D-Lish, but, yes, I do prefer a man who is confident, sure of himself, knows what he wants, isn't "wimpy" even when I'm being a controlling shrew. That's rare, but it happens form time to time. I own up to it. The reason I am attracted to this type of man is because I have children and don't need another one. I got tired of being "mommy" to men, and the men in my past needed a mommy. I want a partner, someone who defers to me when I have more knowledge on a subject, but also recognizes that I don't know everything and can make a decision on his own. I'm just tired of always having so much responsibility on my shoulders. If that means I want a dominant male, so be it.
Teacher's Pet Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 If that means I want a dominant male, so be it. You want a dominant male, huh... hmmm... *smack on da tushy* LIKE THIS? HUH? *smack on da tushy* Is this what you like? Oh, you dirty girl, you! *smacksmacksmacksmack* :love: -tp don't make me give you a fresh one!
Salicious Crumb Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 I agree... it's a TALL order for any man to fulfill. My friend told me this joke that goes something like this: "A man walks into a department store looking for a Woman. So, first he goes to the first floor and finds one that is good looking but bad in bed. So he goes to the second floor and finds one who is good looking and good in bed, he takes her home. That day, a woman comes to the same department store looking for a Man. On the first floor, she finds one who is good looking, good in bed, but not too smart. So she goes to the second floor and finds one that is smart, funny, but not so cute. So she goes to the third floor and finds one that is cute, good in bed, funny and nice. Then she goes to the fourth floor, but NO ONE'S THERE. Moral to the story: Women are never satisfied." This joke sticks w/ me because of the truth behind it. Sometimes, it is possible that us women think and think and THINK ourselves right out of a relationship. It's sometimes a tough call: ride out the waves of our emotions--which could turn back to how they were in the beginning. Or succumb to our lack of feeling and cut it off. Either way, there is a possibility we will have to live with some level of regret. Is there such a thing as a PERFECT man for US?? Or is it all in our heads? And by the same token...a woman may never be satisfied, but does the woman think whoever she winds up with is satisified with her?
Salicious Crumb Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 I won't speak for D-Lish, but, yes, I do prefer a man who is confident, sure of himself, knows what he wants, isn't "wimpy" even when I'm being a controlling shrew. That's rare, but it happens form time to time. Such a man would dump you if you were being a "controlling shrew". Otherwise he is folding like a cheap suit.
dropdeadlegs Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 You want a dominant male, huh... hmmm... *smack on da tushy* LIKE THIS? HUH? *smack on da tushy* Is this what you like? Oh, you dirty girl, you! *smacksmacksmacksmack* :love: -tp don't make me give you a fresh one! hehehe. I have a sticker on my motorcycle helmet that says "Tastes change with age. I never cared much for spankings as a child." And what does that have to do with this thread? Nothing. I'm a bad girl.......a bad, bad girl.
Ariadne Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 Hi, I think you just realized that you don't love the guy. It's sad but it happens. Ariadne
Recommended Posts