NallePuh Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 Hey everyone! Basic stats: -me 23, he 31. -Been together for 7 months, the whole time apart, seeing each other every 1 and a half to two months, -Living in different countries. Tonight I was again very close to breaking up with him. He doesn't want to but is willing to stick through it until next summer, that we should be spending together, in the same city. The problem is that this LDR is just very tough for me: all our differences seem bigger than when we are together and I feel that we come from two completely different worlds, because of our pasts and age differences. He has much more experience about life. For example he's travelled a lot around the globe, lived in different places, which is what I want to do really badly, but if we continue to be together, it wont of course be possible. (I would be the one moving to his country btw) There is a lot of love in the relationship, we are able to communicate, we respect each other, and he is in so many ways what I could ever want from a man. Still I get so tired of trying. I feel that there are many things about him that I need to accept, like doing in drugs in past (in the present, though! so how silly of me, right?), strange sexual tendencies (he doesn't need that stuff so how dumb of me again), and that he still needs to stay in contact with an ex for complicated reasons. Basically by every argument, which seem to me numerous, to him not, I feel like things aren't working and I just want to get out. I have a tendency to dwell on things and therefore even small problems become big in my head and Im already to break up. Our problems go around my head so much that I don't know to what extent they're even real, big issues anymore. My question is that, is it sign of falling out of love, if I want to give up, when we argue? Sometimes I feel so miserable and sometimes amazingly happy being with him. Does a person who's really in love, lose their faith in the relationship like this, or is it just natural in LDR to have such ups and downs? Or maybe it depends on personalities? Any input is greatly appreciated!
sao2 Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 Long distance relationships are tough because ways in which you could normally refresh, seeing each other, hearing each other's voice, just simple contact becomes more complicated. My first suggestion is that when you get upset you should learn how to take an honest look at what you are upset about. Step outside your anger circle and ask yourself if you are really upset about something that he has any affect on. A statement that has found it's way into my ldr, on both sides is "will you listen to yourself". After looking at our arguments/disagreements honestly we most often come to the conclusion that one or both of us were being ridiculous. I think this is really just a byproduct of missing each other. When I start to miss my girlfriend I usually think about how great she is, but occasionally I start to think about the one or two things about her that are upsetting and if I dwell on those it just builds anger. Sometimes it is easier to be angry with her than it is to miss them.
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