shockandawed Posted January 28, 2007 Posted January 28, 2007 What a weekend!!! A month and a half into the breakup with my fiance. I am sure most of you know the whole story and of the activities last week. The great IMs which led me right back to saying I love you and her shutting back down. I have been casually dating, been out with about 4 girls in the last couple of weeks. Setups, online, etc...All were attractive, had good points, etc. but of course I was comparing them to my ex. No chance, and I knew that. Well, Friday, that changes. I have a date. This girl has the APPEARANCE of having it all together. She is gorgeous. She is physically in great shape. Not an ounce of fat, very classy. She has an impressive job which she has been with for 20 years. Two nearly grown daughters. Same age as my son with similar interests. Nice house only about 5 minutes away. (Compared to the 30+ miles with my ex) Great relationship with ex-husband, divorced several years. Outgoing, smart and very easy to talk to. Funny Great kisser (get your minds out of the gutter, nothing else on 1st date) We have a nice dinner and run into an old friend of mine at a nice bar where we were having a couple of drinks. The friend calls me yesterday of course with the "OMG, who was that?" "She was gorgeous, etc..." I get an email from the date, thanking me for a wonderful time and looking forward to another one. So here I am on a Sunday morning. Still somewhat depressed over the ex. Very angry at her for the crap she has put me through. Missing that comfort spot we shared, at least in my mind. Missing that feeling of I was the most important man on the planet to her. I had a few drinks at a friends bar last night and was very tempted to call her cell(which would have went to voicemail) and leave a rant about her screwing herself up, losing the best thing that ever happened to her, have a great and boring life.. etc....I was really ticked..Thankfully I just went to bed instead. I know everyone will say it is too soon to get involved. I agree, and obviously one date and a thank you doesn't equal involvement yet. But, I am picky, comparing everyone to the ex (as flawed as she is) and yet, here comes someone who blows her away in nearly every category. Go slow, without a doubt. But I don't want to waste what might, and I mean might be a true catch over timing. A part of me will never get over the ex until I am with someone else. I see real potential here and I also see continued heartache over the ex. Happy and sad.... Sunday morning coming down.
Am4Real Posted January 28, 2007 Posted January 28, 2007 Our Sunday morning feelings are so familiar I almost wonder if we were in the same bar last night but with different dates. Oh my, I am in the exact same place (mentally) as you. It’s like our head pulls one way and our heart/emotions the other (I expect wise words of advice from Cali on this and believe me they are all welcome right now). For me at least now when I wake up in the morning the EX is not the first thing on my mind like it has been everyday for the past three weeks. Nonetheless, it is throughout the day. However amazing and thankful, when I am on a date she is no where on my mind. Yes, I may do a comparison or two (an obvious sign to both you and me that we are not ready yet to get involved) but SHE does not occupy my thoughts – I can now look at another person and appreciate or not appreciate her for what she is. I think this is a good first step. But after the date ends, just like you I drift back to “thoughts” and other rationalizations about the past. So much so today that for the first time in my life I summed up everything in a three verse poem or lyrics to a melody that is yet to be written. [highlight]The realities of Sunday morning’s, eh?[/highlight] Am4Real
Author shockandawed Posted January 28, 2007 Author Posted January 28, 2007 Real, I think you are on to something. Might have a future hit on your hands, lol!! Unfortunately, when I wake up, the ex is still the first thought that hits me, but, the last two nights I have made it all night without waking up. And now, when it does hit me, thoughts of Fridays date usually come right along.
Am4Real Posted January 28, 2007 Posted January 28, 2007 Real, I think you are on to something. Might have a future hit on your hands, lol!! Unfortunately, when I wake up, the ex is still the first thought that hits me, but, the last two nights I have made it all night without waking up. And now, when it does hit me, thoughts of Fridays date usually come right along. A double date may be in order one day...ha-ha! Geezzz...we'd be a therapist's nightmare in action. Have a great remainder of the day!
Author shockandawed Posted January 28, 2007 Author Posted January 28, 2007 LOL!!! Maybe someday not only could we double, but we could get Cali, Rocket, Teachers Pet, Davis and all the other guys who are dealing with this crap in one way or another to bring their respective and better significant others. I just read the lyrics to the song which I titled my post, somewhat appropriate for my mood today. Verse: On the Sunday morning sidewalk, Wishing, Lord, that I was stoned. 'Cos there's something in a Sunday, Makes a body feel alone. And there's nothin' short of dyin', Half as lonesome as the sound, On the sleepin' city sidewalks: Sunday mornin' comin' down. Johnny Cash
RocketMan2 Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 Nice one shocked! She sounds a real catch Are those daughters single, and in the UK? Rocket
Author shockandawed Posted January 29, 2007 Author Posted January 29, 2007 Rocket, Sorry, they are a year from legal and in the States. But check back next year, lol!!
CaliGuy Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 What a weekend!!! A month and a half into the breakup with my fiance. I am sure most of you know the whole story and of the activities last week. The great IMs which led me right back to saying I love you and her shutting back down. I have been casually dating, been out with about 4 girls in the last couple of weeks. Setups, online, etc...All were attractive, had good points, etc. but of course I was comparing them to my ex. No chance, and I knew that. Well, Friday, that changes. I have a date. This girl has the APPEARANCE of having it all together. She is gorgeous. She is physically in great shape. Not an ounce of fat, very classy. She has an impressive job which she has been with for 20 years. Two nearly grown daughters. Same age as my son with similar interests. Nice house only about 5 minutes away. (Compared to the 30+ miles with my ex) Great relationship with ex-husband, divorced several years. Outgoing, smart and very easy to talk to. Funny Great kisser (get your minds out of the gutter, nothing else on 1st date) We have a nice dinner and run into an old friend of mine at a nice bar where we were having a couple of drinks. The friend calls me yesterday of course with the "OMG, who was that?" "She was gorgeous, etc..." I get an email from the date, thanking me for a wonderful time and looking forward to another one. So here I am on a Sunday morning. Still somewhat depressed over the ex. Very angry at her for the crap she has put me through. Missing that comfort spot we shared, at least in my mind. Missing that feeling of I was the most important man on the planet to her. I had a few drinks at a friends bar last night and was very tempted to call her cell(which would have went to voicemail) and leave a rant about her screwing herself up, losing the best thing that ever happened to her, have a great and boring life.. etc....I was really ticked..Thankfully I just went to bed instead. I know everyone will say it is too soon to get involved. I agree, and obviously one date and a thank you doesn't equal involvement yet. But, I am picky, comparing everyone to the ex (as flawed as she is) and yet, here comes someone who blows her away in nearly every category. Go slow, without a doubt. But I don't want to waste what might, and I mean might be a true catch over timing. A part of me will never get over the ex until I am with someone else. I see real potential here and I also see continued heartache over the ex. Happy and sad.... Sunday morning coming down. It's going to take some time to grieve. The best thing I can tell you is I hope you leave any discussion about your ex out of any conversations with new women. What I have learned is your aren't truly over them until you stop talking about them. Try to fill your mind with other thoughts when your ex pops in your head. When you think of her say to yourself "who?!" That has worked so well for me I rarely think of her anymore. I've been out on a couple dates recently and not once did I bring my ex up or think of her while I was on the date. Now that is progress
CaliGuy Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 LOL!!! Maybe someday not only could we double, but we could get Cali, Rocket, Teachers Pet, Davis and all the other guys who are dealing with this crap in one way or another to bring their respective and better significant others. My goal is hopefully soon to be IN a relationship and not on the forums quite as much as I am now. I mean, I am glad I am able to give others perspective and hopefully helping them (that's what we're all on this planet to do) but eventually (soon) I hope to get on with living my life.
JCD Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 It's hard to get back into dating when your ex is still on your mind. What happened with me is that I talked to my friend about my girl and that allowed me to get to know my friend better since we exchanged views and values and I discovered that I like her. So maybe if you discuss your ex with your date that maybe you two can open up to each other and grow closer. Develop an understanding. That way you also know something about her and where she is with her ex'es if any. Also, I used to be very picky about how the girl looks but only because that is all I was focused on. Now I'm more interested in her as a person and as a companion.
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