Citizen Erased Posted January 28, 2007 Posted January 28, 2007 I was talking to a friend of mine from High School, he was a year above me. Well we were doing our friendly banter, as usual, he sometimes says some things pretending that he loves me but I have always taken it as a joke but today he told me something which I did not see coming and because of our friendship i'm not sure whether to believe... To sum up a long conversation, he told me that he wanted to "do" me (which I took as casual fling, nothing else) from the time we became friends. This isn't a suprise cos he is quite the whore haha. Anyway, he then said that he never had a chance though because I was with first my ex and my now current boyfriend (I have always been the long relationship type, I dont see the point in being with someone Im only attached to only in a physical manner) but he always wanted to, again, "do" me (now doesn't that just turn a girls head ) I then said to him that I never thought of him that way because I didn't want a FWB thing, Im not that type of person. I then (which now seems like a stupid thing to say) said that I am only attracted to guys who want a long-term thing, not to use me and then go on to the next person who comes along. He then went weird, went serious, which is unlike him; he hides behind his playful banter. He replied "... assumptions" and then "you had no idea". He then said straight away that he was going and went offline. Now I dont know if he is for real, he could have been joking, but this just was so unlike him so im afraid it isn't. Anyway, so the whole point of this is that I am afraid that he won't speak to me now. I enjoy all my friendships, most of them are males whom I know I can trust, they all treat me as big brothers, and I miss them now I don't see them frequently. But this guy is one who I have heaps in common with, I can talk to him about anything. He always gives me advice and he looks out for me, which I find nice. There aren't alot of people I enjoy conversations with as much as the ones I have with him. With the exception of my boyfriend of course lol. I just dont want to lose him as a friend. Its not like he is pining away or anything, this is the first I have heard about it from him or anyone, and he certainly is not deprived of female attention I guess that because he went so weird and went offline straight away, im worried it will be awkward and he won't want to talk to me. Aaargh this is so annoying. I have plenty of male friends but this has not happened before. Has anyone got any suggestions on how to approach him after this? Or whether I should just leave it?
calm_rage Posted January 28, 2007 Posted January 28, 2007 It is a rare male and female who can remain friends with one not developing a crush on the other. He sounds serious, especially because he said all this, said an especially revealing thing and then went offline straight away. Anywho, I think that he sounds like a very casual kind of guy. Perhaps he wasn't exactly in love with you, but he decided that his feelings could have gone somewhere if you were available, but because you weren't he never let them grow and so you remained friends. He may feel regretful that it never happened, but I doubt that there are any lingering feelings, especially seeing as you dont have as much contact with him and you are still with your boyfriend. I would let it be until he contacts you. If things are going to be awkward then he won't and you will know he is not ready to talk to you yet. He may feel a bit embarrased as well. However, do I maybe detect a bit of regret. If you had of known would it have changed your situation with your boyfriend? Just something to think about
Author Citizen Erased Posted January 28, 2007 Author Posted January 28, 2007 Thanks C_R. I really have no regrets because I love my boyfriend, He is perfect for me, we are enough alike each other to have the same interests but yet different so we aren't dating boring replicas of each other lol. When I first became friends with this guy, lets call him N, I guess if I knew he had feelings then perhaps something may have happened, after all he is nice, smart, a good friend and he isn't bad to look at either lol. But it didnt and it didn't for a reason. We would have been terrible, N was more experienced then me but I am more mature then him, we dont like the same music, we dont have the same friends, etc etc. I just dont know if I can leave it to him to start contact with me because if he doesn't and I just leave it then I am losing a friend and one that I would rather not do without. And if he acts like he never said anything it will drive me nuts. I am NOT good with delicate situations. When I was breaking up with my ex I avoided him for like a week before I fnally did it and THEN I agreed to re-think my feelings I can write a 5,000 word essay on the History of European Art from the Renaissance to the present, in about 3 hours, but this I have no clue about. I think it may be because I have been with my boyfriend for so long, I haven't dealt with this High School stuff (I call it High School cos that was the last time I had to deal with it) for ages. I should become a bitchy feminist man eater so men will leave me alone. Except my boyfriend. He would be turned on by it. Another reason im with him, he gets naughty in the bedroom Okay sharing too much info lol
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