Tormented Posted January 28, 2007 Posted January 28, 2007 Hey guys...sorry for my outburst here, but I HAVE to rant somewhere before I lose it. Two weeks ago, I wrote my ex a letter rather than meeting him face to face as he requested. I didn't think that was a good idea given the circumstances surrounding our breakup. So I told him I'd write a letter instead, expressing how much he hurt me, the hell it put me through, and that the damage was far too great to ever consider a reconciliation. At the end of the letter, I wished him well and hoped that he found all that he was looking for in life. And that was it. The closure I needed. Okay...my son comes home from work tonight (he works in a small country Market), with this strained look on his face. I asked him what was wrong. He hesitated for a few moments and then said..."Uh, mom...B came into the market tonight." My son then tells me that my ex told him about the letter I wrote, wanted to know how I am, was asking many questions about me, and told my son to tell me that if I wanted to talk about the "contents" in the letter, to call him as he had a lot to say to me. My son said he then picked up a magazine advertising cars for sell, and pointed at a Corvette, saying he was going to buy one....KNOWING that I have always wanted one. My son said he was wearing a "Disneyland jacket," a place he and I had made plans to go to. My son said he looked depressed, telling my son that he went "temporarily crazy." My son said he looked terrible, like he hasn't slept well...dark circles under his eyes, and just looked sad in general. Apparently, he hung out in the market for over 30 minutes, trying to make conversation with my son, but my son was somewhat cold towards him, and only answered him with a yes or no. Finally, he left...his parting shot was, "Tell your mom I said hi, and I hope she doesn't scalp you when you do." I am SO angry right now I'm shaking! WHY did he go into my son's place of employment rather than contact me directly!! What a coward! Why drag my son into this? What was the purpose of this? What did he hope to gain by his little "visit" into the market??? Hell NO he won't get a call from me! Although, right now I'm fighting to keep from picking up the phone and telling him what a coward I think he is! What in the hell is the matter with this guy??? Arrrrghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~T~
shockandawed Posted January 28, 2007 Posted January 28, 2007 Tormented, That is extremely low of him. What a piece of crap. I think at this point, I would just ignore it. It is apparent he is expecting a response from you. I am afraid if you do, he will continue this form of commmunication through your son. Since he will see it didn't work, hopefully, he won't try that manner again. Good Luck
Author Tormented Posted January 28, 2007 Author Posted January 28, 2007 Tormented, That is extremely low of him. What a piece of crap. I think at this point, I would just ignore it. It is apparent he is expecting a response from you. I am afraid if you do, he will continue this form of commmunication through your son. Since he will see it didn't work, hopefully, he won't try that manner again. Good Luck Yeah, I know. It would be stupid on my side to do what I'd like to do right now...which is to pick up the phone and speak my very angry mind...but I know it would only feed into what he's hoping for. Still, though... I know he did it on purpose. He lives 15 miles away from here and would have absolutely no reason to be in my neck of the woods. My son said he bought some ribs, a pack of cigarettes, and a soda. And here's the kicker...he lives next to a Safeway so why didn't he buy this stuff there instead of driving 15 miles here? Lame! ~T~
underpants Posted January 28, 2007 Posted January 28, 2007 Oh Tor, That is extremely manipulative. The act of going to your young son, instead of dealing with you...oye. The very lame and general excuses. Urgh, unaccountable much? Sorry, but I am just shaking my head. That is infuriating. You do not want to get into his headspace. Stop trying to figure out why he does the things he does. Just try to be thankful that you no longer have to deal with it. Someone told me this over the summer and it helped me, they said 'Hey, you do not have to be his life coach.' Give yourself some time. Of course this will set you back a bit, but realize that you did a good thing. You expressed you perspective on what happened and still had the awesome power to wish him well. He is dealing with the consequences of his actions now. Let him deal with it. However, if he does reach out to your son again you might want to tell him stop. That is just not cool. Be strong. Take care.
Arianna72 Posted January 28, 2007 Posted January 28, 2007 That is a horribly manipulative and low thing for a guy to do, it feels almost stalkerish actually and I am sorry you and your son are having to deal with that. One of my ex's did that to me. I told him things were over and I needed space from him. He kept calling me and I wouldn't answer so he started calling my son's cell phone and laying this huge guilt trip on him when my son stopped answering his calls he stopped by my son's job to talk to him like 3 times. Prior to that I actually was thinking we could be friends eventually or maybe even get back together but that sealed the deal entirely. I finally sent him an email telling him that if he continued to contact my son I would have to take legal measures to deal with it.
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