JerryG Posted January 28, 2007 Posted January 28, 2007 Hi all, Is there a stage of relationshps that is more that friends, but not yet going out?? I ask, because me and this girl, lets call her K, first hooked up last November (we just ended up making out, she put the moves on me!). Before this, she had just come out of a relationship (her first serious one) and told me she thought it was important that people be bestfriends before they start going out. I was cool with that, cause I knew she'd need some time to get over the break-up. Now, we've had a "talk" once, and we both know we really like each other. There are of course some signs that I see along the way. Its now at the point where I know if she is around on the weekend, she'll give me a call, and we usually hang out with our friends together (we share a lot of the same group). We usually kiss goodnight on the cheek, but there has been no passionate make-out sessions since November. I usually see her twice on the weekends (we go to a dance class on Sunday nights), which is far more time that she spends with most of her other friends. Recently, I've started to be "coached" by her other friends to start making a move again. I've started to use more affectionate body language when out with her, and I'm waiting for the right momement to go for a kiss again. Some of them tend to think she might not want the expectations of being a gf right now, which is why I was apprehensive about making a move before. Is this a common situation??? Should I start to be more agressive in moving the relationship foward?? I don't doubt she doesn't like me. I know for a fact she's not dating other guys right now, nor do I have an interest in dating other girls. Thanks for any suggestions.
ocset Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 I'm in a simular situation. Friends with a woman and I'm becoming more and more attracted to her but was to shy/nervous to make a move and now feel that she seems more distant than before. I'm now trying to be more 'proactive' in things and asking her to do stuff but without much success, where in the past she was always asking me to do things. I wish I had an answer for you - as that kinda wisdom would help me to!!
Guest Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 that's nothing - how about when ur hands are tied and u are not allowed any contact yet both are sending signs that the love is still there u should feel how it feels to be in my shoes - it is draining and overwhelming and most people think i am absolutely insane and that i am, in fact, talking with myself because she is so good at silence - i am in a quiet mood tonite. like i have been unable to once again - like i have lost her forever i don't know, does anyone have any ideas?
dilly Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 I just lost my best friend and the girl of my dreams because I told her how i felt. All is not lost though. A friend of mine had been going out with a girl that I set him up with. She at first would not acknowledge him in the least. Funny story, actually. Let me tell it. I met this girl at the DMV and we started talking and she inquired about my business which was retail. I told her to come to my store. About a month later, she comes to my store and she is more of a knockout than I remember. I asked her for her phone number for my friend and she gave it to me. My friend called her and set a date and they went out. Well, it turns out that the girl that came to my shop wasn't her but her sister! He ended going out with the DMV girl and not the one that I thought was a knockout. So he didn't go out with the one i originally set him up with. He and the DMV girl ended up being friends but he decided that he liked her sister more but since the sister thought the two of them were going out, didn't give him the time of day. He knew right then he was going to pursue her sister and no love lost since he never really connected with the DMV girl anyways. He eventually became friends with the sister but didn't know how she really felt about him. He was agonizing about when to tell her, if ever. She was giving him mixed signals. After about 5 months, he mustered up enough courage to finally tell her and luckily she felt the same way. She did admit that if he had been overly pushy or even tried to make a move on her in the beginning it would have been game over. Now, those two couldn't be happier. Sorry for being so long winded. The moral of the story. If you feel its been long enough, than go for it. You'll never know unless you do. In my situation, I wish i had never told her, but I do realize that its for the best despite the outcome.
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