Author Agent M Posted January 29, 2007 Author Posted January 29, 2007 It's a question of finding just the right angle. Perhaps massaging in deep circles is the best technique for this sort of thing. It's kind of disconcerting when they run off suddenly to the bathroom, though. Sometimes one doesn't know if they're coming or going. "Was it good for you, too?" After all this discussion....no it didn't end up being so great. Last night...I tried to have meaningless sex after some coaching from one male and one female friend. (don't read on if a little graphics bother you..) Mistake one: I had a couple shots of tequila, which made my body numb, then, we commenced the deed and I couldn't have an orgasm, 'cause I couldn't feel much...I don't know if he knew or not....then he was licking my a**h*** and I was like, what?? (in my mind) isn't this really bad for him, potentially eating my s**t, it is so full of bacteria? But then we moved on, and it was all positions and such, and he's wearing this cheap condom from like Planned Parenthood, and he keeps going softish, then I have to use my mouth to get it back, finally he is sweating bullets and complaining about the condom. I make him get another and he comes, then, no hugs, he just lays there on the bed exhausted, while I'm feeling uncomfortable. He cooks us something to eat and then he's tired so I leave... I don't know! I'm trying to just treat this like a physical activity and nothing more...but I kept awakening in the night and am exhausted today. He emailed me saying what a great time he had, then emailed me again to have a good day, then again and sent me a smiley face. Well, I give the act itself a B-, and I think having sex with someone you actually kind of like, without any committment, may be what messes with my head. I'm certainly not bashing the guys here...just would like to get in on the fun a little...perhaps I'll try again with someone I like less to see if this is my bag or not. I do appreciate the suggestions for blankets, etc., except that years can go by, I kid you not..........
polywog Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 Geez, I am female and in-between monogamy used to have lots of fun sex without emotional attachment (on my part). I simply think that I refused to be trained to be a girl. I was also hard to toilet train, which may segue into magictrunk's anal posts....
Salicious Crumb Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 ...could you please explain to me exactly how you have sex without getting emotionally attached??? I am just interested in knowing, I find it rather fascinating.... Dunno...never had sex without some emotional attachment. However, after being cheated on, if I found myself divorced in the near future, I think sex without emotions would be a requirement for me. Best way to not have your heart stomped on is not to give it away in the first place.
Author Agent M Posted January 29, 2007 Author Posted January 29, 2007 Geez, I am female and in-between monogamy used to have lots of fun sex without emotional attachment (on my part). I simply think that I refused to be trained to be a girl. I was also hard to toilet train, which may segue into magictrunk's anal posts.... are you just a detached person in general?? Or is there some trick to it? Do tell....
IWalkAlone Posted January 29, 2007 Posted January 29, 2007 Why is it such a shock that some women have sex without an emotional commitment? I'm old enough to remember friends of mine doing FWB before the term FWB existed. I used to read crap like and wonder if all the women my good-looking friends scored with really had emotional commitments with him. The truth is: some men don't like sex without the emotional commitment, and some women do. The percentage of people will to have NSA (no strings atttached) sex is higher for men than for women, but those women are out there.
Author Agent M Posted January 30, 2007 Author Posted January 30, 2007 Why is it such a shock that some women have sex without an emotional commitment? I'm old enough to remember friends of mine doing FWB before the term FWB existed. I used to read crap like and wonder if all the women my good-looking friends scored with really had emotional commitments with him. The truth is: some men don't like sex without the emotional commitment, and some women do. The percentage of people will to have NSA (no strings atttached) sex is higher for men than for women, but those women are out there. It is a "shock" to me only in that it is something I've never been able to achieve...not a shock in that a woman "could" or "would" , or "should" do this. Capich?
polywog Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 are you just a detached person in general?? Or is there some trick to it? Do tell.... Well, I'm not anymore, but I used to be more detached when I was younger, more selfish. I truly enjoyed screwing around without getting involved during some times between significant relationships, I liked the sex and the adventure. What made me less able to do this was that some of the guys I did this with would want more, and I eventually felt crummy about being so casual toward them. I grew up and started to have empathy, thank god. I would say that if there was some "trick to it" it's that I used to relate more to men (or I should say traditional sanctioned male culture) than to women (or at least how women are trained to be in our culture), in that I followed my sexual & ego impulses without any kind of guilt.
cutegirl Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 are you just a detached person in general?? Or is there some trick to it? Do tell.... A lot of women have sex all the time without commitment either, not everyone cares about romance and commitment and all that. I'm a woman and I could am not into romantic stuff and romance. A one night stand is just all about sex and pleasure. You don't have to fall in love with every person you screw. Everybody is different. There's no point in generalizing how men can have sex with no emotional attachment and women "can't". It really depends on the individual.
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