nerak Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 Okay, here's the "short story" on my issue. My ex-fiance and I dated for 5 years. We had to break it off because I was going through severe depression and anxiety issues and he couldn't handle it. I've forgiven him all that (the giving up on me part). Well, after I recovered and tried to get back in touch with him, and even met with him, he shut me out completely. He said it was because he didn't think he could have handled if I had another "episode" and we had been together. So, I became angry and went out to clubs and met some people. Before long, my current husband and I became pregnant so we decided it best to get married. Can't believe that I changed so much from always trying to do the "right" thing to getting drunk with the guy, getting a hotel room, getting pregnant...it wasn't like me at all. Anyway, it's been 5 years since I've seen my ex. My husband and I are "happy" in the sense that we have no real issues, he's a great father (we have 2 children together), he works hard for us, and there are no realy problems if you know what I mean. Unfortunately, we really don't connect on a deep level. Now, my ex and I connected on so many levels. I have thought about him time and time again. We do still communicate through e-mail. I asked my ex, after finding out everything about why we split up and didn't get back together after I recovered (he just explained this recently), if he really loved me when we were together or if he was just telling me that. He told me he loved me "with all his being." Wish he had said "no" so I could just hate him and forget... LOL. So, I haven't told him that I still love and care for him. We are trying to regain a friendship if possible. He only lives 2 hours away from us. I can't stop thinking about him. I really miss him. I know it seems cut and dry...just forget about him, cut him out of my life and don't communicate anymore. It's just so difficult to let go of someone who was your "first" in SO many ways and things. He was my best friend. Please be gentle in your advice but be honest and sincere. I really need to know what you think I should do. Thanks so much!
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