prettymaryk Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 My girlfriend and i of 3 years just broke up. She dumped me immediately after cheating on me with a friend they have since broke nit off... Mind you she never told me about this and i had to figure it out myself... I love this girl and dont want her back until she feels what she did was incorrect. However she did break up with me given that i had been emotionally absent given some problems i have been battling without her knowledge which i have since told her about. She says she sees me as just a friend and doesnt like me in that way anymore but is willing to try again for certainity for both of us that those problems didnt affect the relationship or if it was just doomed... to which i responded i only wanted to try if i could forgive her and she actually wanted to. Now my dilemma is should I just tell her we should see other people until she comes to realization(or doesn't and just move on) and do the normal low key ocassional contact, keep contact as a friend (as she claims she sees me as now) and maybe slowly get back into the dating thing all over... again all is contingent on her feeling remorse and me forgiving which i am not sure will happen
contemplater Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 Her willingness to try again to make sure the relationship isn't doomed is just a front. She already told you that she sees you as nothing more than a friend now, so she's just feeding you false hope to keep you around as a backup and to use you to feed her own ego (she likes knowing that you're there for her, but doesn't want to be with you anymore). Quite frankly, she doomed the relationship when she cheated on you, broke up with you, and told you that she no longer has those kind of feelings for you. Even if she eventually tells you that she's remorseful, it would just be to alleviate her own guilt and no amount of apologies will return the feelings she has lost for you. Rather than being concerned with what to do about her, at this point you should be focusing on yourself. Remember that you deserve better than what she has done and you shouldn't settle for anything less. I think you should go into no contact, think about and feel everything surrounding your loss, and prepare yourself to heal and move on. As far as whether to try to stay friends with her, I know you care deeply about her, but ask yourself, why be friends with someone who has betrayed and rejected you?
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