Davis Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 I just came across your comment on a thread to The Count. My ex had no integrity and cheated on me. I always wondered if I should have treated her like sh**t. I could have played her, dated behind her back, lied to her and all of that. It would have drove her crazy. It would have made for A LOT of drama that I didn't want to deal with. WHY would I want to have to act like that? To work through her emotional dysfunctions? I would like to think I have grown up past all the game playing. All the dating sites tell guys to be cockey and never too nice. Never tell them how much you like them or that you love them. Will I have to be a jerk and player to get and keep a girl? Do the games ever stop in a relationship? It's not me anymore, but maybe I have to go back to my old ways.
johan Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 I think if you have to treat them badly to keep them, then it's doomed. The only way that can be a winning strategy is if you don't really care whether you lose them and have no desire to be in the relationship for the long haul. In that case, why not just move on and find someone you actually like. There's a lot to be said for being your own man. And having a backbone is essential. But if you're after a healthy, respectful relationship, you can't base that on unhealthy, disrespectful behavior. If you find that's the only strategy for getting her attention, then you should just cut your losses and turn her loose. Not many guys actually do that. I've failed to more than once.
Author Davis Posted January 27, 2007 Author Posted January 27, 2007 Johan: thanks. you're right, bro. That would have kept her attention... temporarily. I don't want to have to resort to acting like that. I did cut her loose after I found out for sure that she was a dishonest, binge drinking ho. She may be with the "new guy", but regardless, I at least made the decision that I would not be treated like that and left before she blew me out.
lonelybird Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 Golden Rule: treat them with respect always, but not treat them like they are Godess, then you will be the perfect dream guy
AriaIncognito Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 I dont know, i have the opposite problem right now. I'm a woman who treats her man like a king, and he doesn't treat me anywhere near as well. He's a "nice guy" too. So, where does that put me?
AriaIncognito Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 I'm dirt for treating someone well? wtf
polywog Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 Well this thread is really interesting to me after the dinner with all-girls that I just had! We were on the topic of relationships, and it was a mix of straight and gay chicks. The straight chicks were talking about how guys are neanderthal aliens (to sum it up and paraphrase it) who really end up treating them like dirt, it's just how guys are. I just could not buy into this, even as a straight chick who just got dumped (by a guy, no fence jumping here). I ventured the thought that women are attracted to "bad" guys the same way men are attracted to bimbos, and all hell broke loose. I do think that there are qualities af the bad boys that seem to attract women, myself included, but I feel like I am too tired and have been though too much to let that happen any more. I mean, I don't like wimps (as I would hope men would tire of wimpy women), but Nice Guys are underrated, I think.
Porn_Guy Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 but Nice Guys are underrated, I think. would you like a date with CaliGuy?
Salicious Crumb Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 Women like the bad boys...then are surprised and furious when they get played. Sorry, date a bad boy because you KNOW he is bad...and you get what you asked for.
polywog Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 would you like a date with CaliGuy? I can't tell whether he is nice or bad.
polywog Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 Women like the bad boys...then are surprised and furious when they get played. Sorry, date a bad boy because you KNOW he is bad...and you get what you asked for. Still, I like to look but but not buy.
riobikini Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 re: Davis: "... "nice guys always lose"? " What's *your* concept of a "nice guy" -that should be the question. On the flip side -what's your concept of "bad guy"? The *real* truth is that a bonafide "nice guy" doesn't take sh*t from anybody -and *knows* just how to handle it when he happens to encounter it. Much smoother -loads more finesse- than a "bad guy". To me, that's downright sexy. And there are *different* ideas of just what a "nice guy" is: most think it's Ronnie Howard acting out his character on "Happy Days". Not exactly the picture of somebody you'd expect to be able to hold his ground or protect his territory -and his girl, huh? But there *are* "nice guys" who can. They present as gentlemen -and may have the manners of a prince, as well as the expected education, intelligence quotient, and the social skills -but they are as "manly" and territorial as any other male. I think the definition of a "nice guy" is instantly misleading with the negative image promoted through the widespread stereotypical perception being some wimpy, every-hair-in-place, Howdy-Doody type with soft-as-a-butterfly hands, a button-up oxford shirt, and the smell of fresh shoe polish on his loafers. Get over it. While I'll admit that these types *do* exist -the *real* "nice guy" is the one who's own dad opened doors for everyone from toddlers to grandmothers, and who passed that -and every other good trait he happened to possess- on down to his son. A son who grew to recognize the *value* in having those traits for *himself* -and for all the women in his life -from his mother, to his sister, to his girlfriend, to his (one day) wife. He's the guy who likes the security of *knowing* where his dollars are coming from -and going, and who may be generous to a fault -but (wisely) *not* to his own debilitating injury. He's thoughtful of others-yes- and shows you in as many ways as is reasonable -but if your relationship ends he doesn't stalk you. He's enormously understanding, forgiving, tender and kind to *you* -but in his career he demands answers, remembers exactly *who* to forgive and who to forget, and though his kindness is generously extended, and his patience is long -he's nobody's fool in anything. He's dedicated, decent, knowlegable, is well worth listening to, and is a proven friend to as many as are lucky enough to be one to him. I don't know about you guys, but I'd much rather tango with the so-called "nice guy" (Smile) -it appears they have everything I'm looking for. -Rio
CaliGuy Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 There's a book by David Glover called "No More Mr. Nice Guy" Read it. It teaches you that door mat nice guys lose and so do "jerks". The winners are the balanced, good men who know when to be nice and when to be mean. Being a jerk will get them, but won't keep them. Being a door mat nice guy may get them but won't keep them. Both personalities suffer from low self-esteem they just display it differently. A good, well balanced man is the one who ends up the winner. Not a jerk and not a door mat nice guy. Cheers.
CaliGuy Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 would you like a date with CaliGuy? Alpha, you can't even get your own dates much less worry about dates for other people. I'll do my own scouting, thank you. You're welcome to crawl back over to your other account. Cheers.
CaliGuy Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 I can't tell whether he is nice or bad. And that's exactly what men should strive for Cheers.
burning 4 revenge Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 ........... Who?There used to be this old poster here who liked moslems and hated women. Some people took offense to his caustic sense of humor, but I thought the guy was really funny. I wonder what he's doing these days?
johan Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 Is he the one who advocated hitting women? And the one who called the teenage girl being hit by her boyfriend ignorant? Pretty funny.
magichands Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 Is he the one who advocated hitting women? And the one who called the teenage girl being hit by her boyfriend ignorant? Pretty funny. Just another victim of the alert button. Damn that weapon of mass moderation. Or maybe it was some bizarre New Year's Resolution?
dropdeadlegs Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 The winners are the balanced, good men who know when to be nice and when to be mean. A good, well balanced man is the one who ends up the winner. Not a jerk and not a door mat nice guy. Amen to that. Nice guy and bad boy should be rolled into one total package who knows when to be each side of his personality. CaliGuy, I would date you (if I weren't in a relationship, and no, I'm not a stalker;))
Porn_Guy Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 CaliGuy, I would date you (if I weren't in a relationship, and no, I'm not a stalker;)) ha ha ha ha
Porn_Guy Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 You're not real bright, are you? haha ah aha ha
RocketMan2 Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 What's *your* concept of a "nice guy" -that should be the question. On the flip side -what's your concept of "bad guy"? The *real* truth is that a bonafide "nice guy" doesn't take sh*t from anybody -and *knows* just how to handle it when he happens to encounter it. Much smoother -loads more finesse- than a "bad guy". To me, that's downright sexy. There's a book by David Glover called "No More Mr. Nice Guy" Read it. It teaches you that door mat nice guys lose and so do "jerks". The winners are the balanced, good men who know when to be nice and when to be mean. Being a jerk will get them, but won't keep them. Being a door mat nice guy may get them but won't keep them. Both personalities suffer from low self-esteem they just display it differently. A good, well balanced man is the one who ends up the winner. Not a jerk and not a door mat nice guy. Cheers. How come you guys are such oracles of good advice? You're both always exactly right with whatever you say Basically everything you two described as the wrong type of nice guy, is me lol. Good news is, I can see it now thanks to LS and the ex, so its definately something im gonna work on! Cali - is this the book you mean: http://www.amazon.co.uk/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339/sr=8-5/qid=1169902344/ref=sr_1_5/026-2317610-0436469?ie=UTF8&s=books
Porn_Guy Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 Cali - is this the book you mean: http://www.amazon.co.uk/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339/sr=8-5/qid=1169902344/ref=sr_1_5/026-2317610-0436469?ie=UTF8&s=books ha ha that book is worthless....the book you really want to read is How to Succeed with Women by Copeland & Louis.
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