people who are always late and wont tell you a deffinite time that you will c them

[emmaUK]

do u think its disrespectful if someone wont ever give you an exact time that they will be over and you only know roughly when they will be there so you havta sit n wait.

i do grumble if someones late because i hate lateness (i dont just mean 10-15 mins... i mean like 30 mins and later) it shows lack of excitment about seeing me...

but does my grumbling give them a good enough reason not to want to tell me an exact time in case they are late again.

 

i think its pretty rude and it makes me think i am not important enuff to them to give me a time and stick to it

[Art_Critic]

here is a thread from a while ago...but being late is not a gender role..

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t109471

[emmaUK]

hmmm lots of diff views on that.

 

but wot about sum1 who doesnt even want to give u a time becuase they know u r gonna be at home doing nothing anyway???

[IfWishesWereHorses]

I have a friend like this who happens to be male. Usually when a group of us get together somewhere or at our house we usually don't even get a straight answer if he is even coming. Great guy, single, but a wanderer by nature, doesn't like to be tied down. It used to drive me crazy, should we wait to eat, should we call before we move onto another location. I finally stopped worrying. Call if you want to find us, if you miss out, sorry. This situation is a little different in that it doesn't involve me directly, but I will tell you one thing that I have learned about men. They respond to actions, not words. I would not be available after say 15 minutes of waiting, I would change my plans when he does not confirm or make a definate time to arrive.

[emmaUK]

hmmm sounds like a good way to run things.

[Citizen Erased]

My Aunt is like that. She will literally be like 45 minutes late to everything. So we tell her to be somewhere an hour before the time that eveyone else will be getting there and she will turn up at around the same time as everyone else.

 

But yes, I do find it rude. If you are going to be late, you call. But refusing to give a time is not right at all.

[bluetuesday]

i rarely turn up anywhere on cue - unless it's for something that starts at a particular time like dinner or the theatre or a wedding, or if a friend will be alone in a pub waiting for me.

 

if i've made an arrangement to go to a mate's house, i turn up sometime during the evening. if they've gone out, too bad. if they're still in, great.

 

i have to be at work at a certain time during the week. i can do that. but in my free time, i'm no respecter of the clock and none of my friends are up tight about stuff like that. that's part of what makes them my friends. if they cared about fifteen minutes here or an hour and fifteen minutes there, i'd find it ridiculous and would probably stop turning up at all. thankfully, my friends know me and know the time we spend together will be fun whenever it starts.

[masked_man]

Being late constantly without an excuse, or warning call, is pretty rude.

 

but wot about sum1 who doesnt even want to give u a time becuase they know u r gonna be at home doing nothing anyway???

You need to change that perception I think.

 

Try saying something like "can you tell me what time you'll be here, as my friend XYZ called and wants to go for a quick coffee/drink, and I need to know if I'll have time to do that."

 

At least create the impression that you have plans or activities of some sort arranged, and your time is tight, before he is "due" to come round to your place. He might wake up his act a bit then.

[tinktronik]

I am one of these people. I also have two male friends with my same birthday who are both the same way. Hopelessly late and will not pinpoint a time b/c they know they won't make it on time .

 

Its why I work from home , I could never seem to get to work on time .