Bit of a sad day

[RocketMan2]

The board's a bit dry lately so i thought id post how im feeling, s'pose i could do with some supportive words if theres any spare...

 

This time last month my gf was starting to ignore me. She dumped me 2 days later.

 

I think it might be a good time for a recap/summary of the events... I know a lot of you already know my story but as im feeling down today i think it would be good to have a recap of my feelings. Just writing it out might help me feel better...

 

So she ignored me for days, out of the blue after a brilliantly happy xmas. Tells me she loves me (with sincere look in the eyes after nervously avoiding eye contact while dumping me) but doesnt feel in love, doesnt see a future for the relationship, had a lot of misjudgements about me (she was saying i think this and that which just wasnt true). She was having a hard time at home and was stressed with exams, so i hid behind that for a while as an excuse as to why she'd come round soon and ask for me back.

The end of her exams deadline came and went.

She text me 3 days in a row asking commanding me to help her fix her computer, no hellos, pleases or thankyous. I told her to speak to me politely. She acted defensive dropped it. She asks me for some of her things back (which involved me rummaging around a mutual friends house for stuff that i cant even identify as hers) but was treating me like a slave. Walking all over me like i used to let her, only ive only just picked up on it and this is the first time shes done it to me with me being aware. She then started talking to me being all warm and friendly. Turned out she wanted a debt repaying. Nice one.

So i gave her the money and stuff from my house (leaving her to get her stuff from the ex-mutual friends house - which she still hasnt).

In amongst the returned stuff was a receipt for some xmas jewellery so she could get the insurance. I get a call the next day complaining that she cant RETURN the jewellery cos i paid on my card and would i do it for her and give her the money!!!!!!!!!

I didnt reply.

 

 

And thats where i am.

 

I've been alright lately, mostly managing to not think about her. Her crappy behaviour managed to make me see her in a different light for a few days, but im not one to hold grudges, so that hate is kinda wearing off now and im back to just missing her.

 

I had a date tonight! But she's just cancelled "oh..somethings come up...another time?" yeah right lol.

 

My ex from years ago just added me to facebook :s, and i can see shes in a relationship with some guy. He seems nice, im happy for her. But we split up 3? years ago. Ive only seen her once since, about this time last year. Seeing the photos of them happy together gave me a wierd feeling inside. Not jealousy, well yeah maybe... anyway, point is that seeing that bothered me slightly when i dont care for her at all in the slightest. Whats it gonna be like knowing my ex is with someone else? And im very likely to find out or bump into her. My ex ex ex went away to uni so NC was easy.

 

So what am i feeling now?

 

Well i miss her. I miss her terribly. Everything we used to do together. A lot of things are reminding me of her at the moment. I think its just cos im tired and in a mood.

 

 

Right i best stop ranting.

 

Thoughts and/or encouragement would be appreciated

 

Rocket

[shockandawed]

Rocket,

 

I thought I was going to show you the light out of here but I blew that to hell. Everything is normal what you are feeling. I too was doing better with the bad thoughts but I can't hold grudges either. Then add the two days of reminiscing IMs I had, then to jump on her too hard. Back, back, back..

 

Screw the date that cancelled, at least you had one lined up. Get another.

 

Hang in there buddy, we will be laughing at all of this someday.

[polywog]

Hi Rocket,

I'm always here to sympathise, plus I am going thru the same, almost, situation . So Rocket, rant anytime... we are in the same boat...

(((Rocketman)))

 

polywog

[RocketMan2]

Rocket,

I thought I was going to show you the light out of here but I blew that to hell.

 

What do u mean?

 

Hang in there buddy, we will be laughing at all of this someday.

 

I know, im trying. Im getting better, slowly. I was reading your post earlier, didn't really know what to say though, sorry I feel for you though, well done for exercising the restraint. I think thats the best policy. If she does want you back i think you should be working at it really slowly to win her back and show her what shes missing. I dont think theres too much worry of her thinking you dont care, if she thinks shes getting mixed signals she should confront you about it then you can explain anyway.

 

Anyyway i was introduced to some hot girls last night, invited me to a party next week, so hopefully... Might accidentally bump into her where she works 2moro.... hmmm

 

Peace.

 

Rocket

[RocketMan2]

Hi Rocket,

I'm always here to sympathise, plus I am going thru the same, almost, situation . So Rocket, rant anytime... we are in the same boat...

(((Rocketman)))

polywog

 

Thanks guys, I knew you two would be the first to reply Its a really good feeling to know that i was right in hoping you would be

 

LS is really strange....

 

My ex couldn't even talk to me face to face about the smallest problems, yet here we are pouring our hearts out to, basically complete strangers, yet I feel completely comfortable with it.

 

I wish it was as easy to meet people as good as you in the real world! You guys feel like really good friends ive know for years, its really strange! Im not a wierdo by the way lol.... Ill get my coat lol.

 

Rocket

[princessa]

You guys are wayyy too nice. I think you need to learn how to hold a grudge. Seriously, how can you let somebody so flagrantly walk all over you and still give them the time of a day?? Being nice is a great quality that so few people have.. And I'm not telling you to get rid of it, because it's a great gift and it really shows the goodness of your heart. But being so nice sometimes backfires at you, and that's why you need to learn to manage your attitude so that nobody else is able to take advantage of you. I think you have a lot of self-improvement to do in that area. Get a book about Assertiveness or something and study it. We all get screwed over one day or another, so get back up and don't look back.

[RocketMan2]

You guys are wayyy too nice. I think you need to learn how to hold a grudge. Seriously, how can you let somebody so flagrantly walk all over you and still give them the time of a day?? Being nice is a great quality that so few people have.. And I'm not telling you to get rid of it, because it's a great gift and it really shows the goodness of your heart. But being so nice sometimes backfires at you, and that's why you need to learn to manage your attitude so that nobody else is able to take advantage of you. I think you have a lot of self-improvement to do in that area. Get a book about Assertiveness or something and study it. We all get screwed over one day or another, so get back up and don't look back.

 

Thanks Princessa

 

I know what you mean about the backfire. Im completely aware of what needs improving, its just doing it.

 

I know I need to be more assertive/confident, and I have actually already got a couple of books flagged on amazon. Anyone got any recommendations?

 

Rocket

[shockandawed]

What do u mean?

 

 

 

I guess you haven't seen my post in the break up section, I completely blew the game plan that I had thought out. 3 great IM's and I had to go for the touchdown pass.

[D-Lish]

Getting back into dating after a break up is crazy.

 

Trying to understand the opposite sex and how they think is proving to be difficult. I'll get excited about someone new- lose interest- and then thoughts of my ex come flooding back... relapse time.

 

Recovery is a long process, and everything you're going through is normal.

 

 

It's rude to cancel a date last minute... I wouldn't contact her again. Let her do the contacting.