yousaveme Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 I really dont mean to sound completely heartless here. And I am sure that is how this is going to come across. But I have been reading these posts from some of the new BS about being hurt etc. They want to come onto the forum and go after the OW on here. First, the chances that your OW is on here is slim. She might be , She might not be. So there is no point to come and be hostile. It isnt getting anyone anywhere. But what makes you think we the OW dont get hurt. And need to be hurt anymore by your posts or threads. I personally have been hurt. We got caught. So just like the W gets hurt. The heart dropping in the stomach and other feelings of pain. We all get them. So believe it or not the different we feel the same as you.
Ladyjane14 Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 {sigh}.... Yet another thread designed to engage betrayed wives in pointless adversarial discussion. How many is this now? Truly, I've lost count.
Babybird Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 One thing I have noticed being in groups or on sites on the internet is that because the person isn't standing in front of them they forget they're human with feeling and emotions. They don't have to see the reaction, the face crumble, the tears, or the anger, and odds are they will never meet anyone their telling off in person so why should they care? Pathetic and juvenile but true.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 I personally have been hurt. We got caught. So just like the W gets hurt. The heart dropping in the stomach and other feelings of pain. We all get them. So believe it or not the different we feel the same as you. I'm reading that you were hurt because the consequences of getting caught caused you pain. One big difference, not the feeling of being hurt, the choice you made that would obviously cause harm to another person and possibly even yourself was exactly that - "YOUR CHOICE". I liken this to two people discussing the frustrations of imprisonment - probably very much the same FEELINGS involved for both of them- but lets assume one is imprisoned as punishment for a crime and the other is kidnapped against their will. I would have trouble empathizing with the criminal as his pain is a direct result of a choice he made, I would be terribly empathetic though to the person whom this situation was inflicted upon by another human being.
Romeo Must Die Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 {sigh}.... Yet another thread designed to engage betrayed wives in pointless adversarial discussion. How many is this now? Truly, I've lost count. At least a gazillion and one times now, LJ YSM you are just going to invite more hurts from Cruella De'Ameri if she is invited to battle the OW. Its friday, woohoo. Lets not spoil the weekend hmmm?
NearlyThere Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 I know this is not generally a fun board, but there have been some fun threads, can anyone think of one for the week-end.
Kathleen Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 I know this is not generally a fun board, but there have been some fun threads, can anyone think of one for the week-end. I started one on the water cooler yesterday about screen names we use on LS. We can start it again here?!?!
Rooster_DAR Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 I'm reading that you were hurt because the consequences of getting caught caused you pain. One big difference, not the feeling of being hurt, the choice you made that would obviously cause harm to another person and possibly even yourself was exactly that - "YOUR CHOICE". I liken this to two people discussing the frustrations of imprisonment - probably very much the same FEELINGS involved for both of them- but lets assume one is imprisoned as punishment for a crime and the other is kidnapped against their will. I would have trouble empathizing with the criminal as his pain is a direct result of a choice he made, I would be terribly empathetic though to the person whom this situation was inflicted upon by another human being. I could not agree more, there was a choice that caused the pain. I understand that it's painful for all parties, but poor decision making needs to be accounted for and learned from. The O/W and O/M will always get less sympathy than the betrayed, at least from me. Cheers!
frannie Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Oooh. Does the 'you get less sympathy and in fact deserve everything you get' argument apply to BSs who decided to continue the marriage? After all they're making a choice to stay with a cheater. Soooooo... they deserve it if hubby has another fling..? Or is it always the person outside the marriage who deserves a metaphorical kicking? And remember we're not talking about 'what pain you get' but whether or not it's OK for people on forums to have a go in addition to whatever you got as a result of the relationship.
herenow Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Someone please tell me how threads like this are of any help to anyone.
Kathleen Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Back & Forth Bickering. That should be the thread title here. Enough already.
puddleofmud Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Just because a person has made a mistake in someone's eyes doesn't make them less HUMAN or deserving of abuse. One can state one's opinion or ask a question without being abusive--there is a huge difference! The old saying "two wrongs don't make a right" comes to mind... Personally, I feel that a person who is abused and goes out and abuses others just for the sake of making themselves feel better are not self-aware or just plain mean. I wouldn't trust that person nor value their opinion. One does have the right to stand up for oneself when one is being abused or attacked in a personal manner not just because it hurts but because it's WRONG. So if you will excuse me, as I have a horrible week at the office, I shall now go and kick my dog, belittle the grocery store cashier for screwing up my purchases, and eat some babies (LOL). After all, THEY are the one's who screwed up my entire week.
Ripples Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Yes, POM, I think so to. I also think getting abusive only demeans the abuser further, lessens their credibility and any reason they may have for being hurt and deserving of empathy is lost.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Or is it always the person outside the marriage who deserves a metaphorical kicking? And remember we're not talking about 'what pain you get' but whether or not it's OK for people on forums to have a go in addition to whatever you got as a result of the relationship. Not sure exactly what you meant by the end but from what I read YSM said "the pain is the same." I disagree. Betrayal or undeserved pain feels a little different from consequensual pain. I didn't share it at the moment , but I will now. When I read YSM's post it took me back to a time when a woman who wanted to support me said that she could understand my loss as she had suffered the same if I ever needed to talk. I had a full term still birth from a placental abruption and almost died. This woman had lost a child too- so she could understand the pain- she had had an abortion because the pregancy was unwanted! HELLO! Yeah, right, the same thing exactly! That's what I think when OW try to compare their pain to the BS. Kinda like comparing apples to dog ****. HOW IS THAT THE SAME???? As for does the BS deserve it if they stay? Hmmm... no, the BS never deserves it but she should not be surprised. That's kind of like asking if a physically abused spouse deserved a beating the second time because she didn't leave after the first.
Romeo Must Die Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Back & Forth Bickering. That should be the thread title here. Enough already. We could really use some of those special effects from Batman *BAM* *WHAP* BASH* *OWWWWW* Dannanananaana... Holy Whore Batman! We're trapped!!!
herenow Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 YSM, why is it that all your most recent posts start arguments between the BW and OW? Why do you think this is helpful? You are always saying that you want this board to be about support, why not start a thread that actually asks for it or gives it? I'm really starting to think that you love the drama that these posts create.
Romeo Must Die Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 8-) Smiley wearing sunglasses. B-) Smiley wearing designer sunglasses. B:-) Smiley wearing sunglasses on head. ::-) Smiley wearing normal glasses. 8:-) Smiley is a little girl. :-)-8 Smiley is a big girl.
Kathleen Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Thanks RMD!! Still haven't gotten the swing of it yet. >
whichwayisup Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 I know this is not generally a fun board, but there have been some fun threads, can anyone think of one for the week-end. Hang out in the watecooler, or the rant section, or even the sex section, it's abit more fun over there.
Romeo Must Die Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 ..................O.........O..............................................|..........|...........KATHLEEN...............***....\........./...***............................................*...**...\....../...**...* ....YOU MAKE MY...............**.ooooo.**.\.../.**.ooooo.**................................**.oooooooooo*.\./*.oooooooooo.**.....HEART...............**.ooooooooooo.*[.]*.ooooooooooo.**.............................**.oooooooooooo.*[.]*.oooooooooooo.**..FLUTTER!............**.0000000000000.*[.]*.0000000000000.**.....................**.0000000000000.*[.]*.0000000000000.**......................**.000000000000.*[.]*.000000000000.**........................***..ooooooooo.*[.]*.ooooooooo.***...............................**********.*[.]*.**********......................................**.ooo...*.....ooo **.........................................**.ooo.*.....*.oooooo.**................................**.oooooo.*.......*.oooooo..**...........................**.00000000.**.......** 00000000 **.........................**.00000000.**.........**.000000000.**.....................**.00000000.**...........**.0000000.**.....................**.ooooooo.**.............**.oooo.**............................**.oo.*.................*.oo.**................................****...................****.......................................*.....................*.......................
Author yousaveme Posted January 26, 2007 Author Posted January 26, 2007 Who is Cruella De'Ameri? I have been busy did I miss something? At least a gazillion and one times now, LJ YSM you are just going to invite more hurts from Cruella De'Ameri if she is invited to battle the OW. Its friday, woohoo. Lets not spoil the weekend hmmm?
Romeo Must Die Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Cruella De'Ville + CarterAmeri = Cruella De'Ameri
puddleofmud Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Hang out in the watecooler, or the rant section, or even the sex section, it's abit more fun over there. There's a SEX section??? Perhaps I should order a cocktail and stumble over there?....
Author yousaveme Posted January 26, 2007 Author Posted January 26, 2007 Ah, She's been that bad...You gave her a new name. Wow. Cruella De'Ville + CarterAmeri = Cruella De'Ameri
Recommended Posts