bg1975 Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Really could use all of you advice. Been dating this gale since June. Great gal....works about 80 hours per week and really has a crazy work schedule so we don't see each other but maybe 1-2 times per week. Both of us coming out of two major relationships, we were not looking to get real serious right away. No sex to date. Things are progessing healthly on my side and really have developed feelings for this gal. Couple weeks ago we were out and I kindof told her "you know I love you right?" to some question that she had or something. Her response was "No you don't". Ummmmmmm.....ok! I blew it off. Everything as normal. Couple weeks go by and she went out of town for a week. Took her and her mother to the airport and picked them up (first time meeting mom). Since she has returned, things not the same. Don't hear from her as much. She is working every night so we have not been able to get together. (For one reason or another, refuses to spend the night together....not sure why). So, as a nice thing with her returning to her busy life, I stopped by one of her jobs and dropped off flowers. Told her that I was having a bad day and needed to do something nice for someone. I have dropped flowers to her before. She texts saying "Thank you for all that you do". I responded with "you don't need to thank me....you know why I do these things". She says...I do? Why? I say "because you are special and if you believe me or not, I do love you." That time I think has really freaked her out. So, what is the best move to pull this out of a tailspin. I realize that she is not prepared for a major relationship, she doesn't feel the same way I do. Actually, I really don't know how she feels right now. My thoughts are 1 of the 3: 1. No contact with her and let her come back when ready 2. Try to talk to her about it and find out what she wants 3. Tell her what I think (she is not ready, not comfy and to call if/when she is ready for a relationship). I am not ready to just drop her. Am I stupid for thinking that something can be saved? Any advice is appreciated.
ddnnee Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 u r screwed. no contact is ur choice. remember that if a girl likes the guy, she will make time with the guy. women are choosers and will always be.
bluebabe_95 Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Does she happen to be an auditor in an accounting firm??
Author bg1975 Posted January 26, 2007 Author Posted January 26, 2007 Unfortunately not. More I think about it, I am sure that it is a factor of being scared to being hurt again. Shortly after we first met, she stopped contact. I sent an email with nice things to say and told her that if she wanted to contact me, she could. She responded with that she doesn't have the time for more and feels that I am only looking for a R and that makes her feel bad. Long story short, that was about five months ago. We are affectionate when we are together so I don't believe it is an issue of not being interested as much as her either 1. Not as invested in the relationship as I am and feels bad or 2. is scared to try for fear of being heartbroken again. I have thought about getting together and talking about this with her and what she wants of me but then again, feel like I should just let it go, go NC and see if she recontacts me. What do you all think!?
Lauriebell82 Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 lol my boyfriend is an auditor for an accounting firm and works crazy hours! anyway, give her some space and if she really cares about u, she'll come back when she's ready. just dont push her on the issue.
bluebabe_95 Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 I am an auditor and I work crazy hours. And when there's work, there's WORK. I barely have time to sit down and think of personal things. I am dating someone and I know we're supposed to be in the honeymoon stage and all but I just do not have the time to think about him or anything else but work. I know it sounds crazy but that's an auditor for you. Maybe she's just really busy right now with all the travelling and deadlines and then adding to the pressure is the feeling that you might be expecting something from her for telling her that you love her. She might think that you guys are going fast and that she won't have time to really spend quality moment with you without thinking of work (i am guilty of that most of the times). However, when things go slow, that's when she would start missing your attention and your care. I say just go with the flow and don't expect too much from her right now. Work pressure is too much for a person especially if their priority right now is their career. Just have fun right now and continue what you have been doing with her. Try not to drop the L word for now. Could it be that you're demanding for too much time and attention from her that she felt she had to choose between her career and you? And no, I don't do taxes, lol...Good luck!
Lauriebell82 Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 And no, I don't do taxes, lol...Good luck! lol u sound like my bf!
Recommended Posts