Why wond Girls just say what they want!!!

[alextop30]

Ok here is my problem, I constantly approach girls talk to them and try to see if she is interested in me, but every time I do I get the cold feeling that they don't really like me and rea not interested in me. I usually try to talk to girls that I see in class looking at me more often than usual. I desperately try to approach them in a normal manner so they dont think that I am a creep, and I have been trying to cut back on my accent the most I can but it is just too hard right now for me.

 

My question for girls especially is how can us guys understand whether a girl is trully interested in me and when they are just looking at me to pass the boaring time in class. I mean it is not once or twice, I practically know every girl in my class, I am not ugly as the death- I usually wear shirt that you would put a tie on and dress pants so I look fairly decent and I also dont concider myself dumb because I try my very best to understand other side or the argument but I still dont understand girls and let me say from the phycology of women I dont really want to know too much, but I do want to know how can I find a definite sign that a girl is interested in me and is willing to give me a chanse for lets say 10 minutes of talking

 

if you can plz give me suggestions it would be great

 

- Alex

[Kamille]

I wonder on what you base your assessment that these girls are not interested once you approach them?

 

The way I see it, it's not the sign that they're interested that you're misreading, since really, who cares. What you want to do is approach girls that you are interested in.

 

So this leaves us with two possible processes to work on:

1)either you are misreading what you consider as interest or disinterest when you do approach them. What are your expectations? What would you define as signs of interest or disinterest - ONCE approached?

 

I'm wondering if you are not expecting results too fast from girls. The fact is, most girls love a little bit of intrigue. So on approach, you don't want to 'seal the deal'. So on first approach, what you want to do is introduce yourself, make them laugh a little, and leave. (And if your humor doesn't fly with a perticular girl - make sure to leave with your head held up high). Then it is time to pay attention to signs of interests.

 

2) either it is your approach that needs improvement. When you do approach, how do you go about it?

Again, I think your best bet is to go about it in a light and casual way. In your post you sound like you know that your self-esteem does not depend on a perticular outcome with a perticular girl. All you want to do when you approach a girl is get to know her a little bit more and see where it goes from there. Meanwhile, keep busy with activities that you find interesting - and perhaps focus on meeting girls through those, where a topic of conversation is readuly available.

 

And the accent thing, well, use it to your advantage .

 

best of luck

K

 

What I like about your post is that you sound as if you are aware that

[Kamille]

Hmmm. thoughts on the accent. If you moved to North America from, ah, most anywhere else in the world (except maybe Australia and GB and Scandinavia), know that here, there is a tendency for girls to be a bit foward with men once a first contact has been established. Good news, you don't have to do all the work. So approach girls, be lighthearted and friendly, and then see who approaches you afterwards - and I mean who comes up and strikes up a conversation.

 

It is very frequent, or at least it has been in my life, for couples to maintain a 'friendly' basis for the first few interactions before actually planning an activity together or even demonstrating signs of interest. The first few interactions are kind of reserved to getting to know the other person. (And by interactions I mean anything from a 2 sentence exchange to a 15 minute chat).

 

I know from my own experience that I used to get a bit thrown off by men who were too foward too quick.

[IWalkAlone]

Ask someone close to you if you have a problem with your breath or body oder.

 

If girls show interest in you from across the room, and then suddenly are cold and uninterested when you approch & talk to them, then there is something about you that quickly turns them off that is not perceptable from a distance. Unpleasent oders are the fastest turn-off there is.

[alextop30]

you know I dont believe odor is the problem- hekk I shower ever morning before school, I even put spray on, and I don't believe my breath is a problem because I am always chewing a gum. The problem with me is I cannot really recognize the signs that women give out because I kind of feel that kind of cold sensation when I am talking to those girls, that makes me think that they dont even want to talk to me. That is why I am kind of comfused - if girls were brave enough to come up to me and show me that they are interested in what I have to say would be great but I am just kind of going crasy. But still I do have girls that are friends and they say that I am quite hot and that I dont really need to work myself up so much and just wait for the right time which is crap I believe. The bottom like is I believe I am picking the girls to approach and yes these are girls that I want to get to know, and that attract me and yes potentially get a date with them.

[Cous Cous With Goose]

You see the dude on that 70s show? Fez lol try n be like him.

 

Jk bro but he's funny..u wanna try n be like him in that aspect. Think of it this way: girls like looking at a physically attractive man more, but for one who wants a relationship they have to like your personality. You gotta approach them like you'd approach a dude, like you're not trying to hit on them. Except you are. Lol sounds confusing because you do want them to know you like them, but you have to be very subtle about it. Act like if they don't like you it's not the end of the world, that you can just move on and try another girl. That type of mindset is attractive. You can learn to be romantic and have the rapport built but they know that they can't control you, which makes your value rise.

 

Controlling: never let the girl control you. That means you're ****ed. Say, this girl is dating a really popular football player who all the girls like. She feels that if she doesn't satisfy him well enough he can walk out on her because he's got a line of girls ready to satisfy him.

 

Now imagine he dumps her and she dates this nerd. She only did it because she lost a bet, but this dude can't get any girls. She knows that he knows this, and thus can treat him like crap. That's where the arguing, lying, and distancing come into play. She has you on a leash and can tie you to a fence while doing her thing, going out and having fun ****ing other dudes while you're sitting at home wondering about her.

 

It's all about proving you want her, but don't need her. I don't mean dis her or anything, be a gentleman and friend but don't be afraid to pull her strings, push her buttons. And when you do, always do it in a playful manner, get her smiling or laughing before you do it. Don't wanna come off as a foreign imported creep banned from his native lands for stalking.

[unconventionality]

If she smiles then it usually means that she at least likes you a little bit. A fake smile or a frown generally means disinterest.

[alextop30]

I kinna like your analogy, the thing is I have absolutely no problem making a conversation, I use to make everyone in highschool laugh- class clown, I do make her smile but the thing is I kind of feel this cold behavior like she really dont want to even talk to me for more than the occasional 5 minute talk which is Hi, whats up, how is ur day going. I am still kinna nervaous to approach girls but I dont believe it shows because I have learned to controll my feeling very well and I bearly show that I am mad or nervaous instead I do the opocite. When I am nurvaous on the outside I appear more relaxed even sleepy I look like I really dont care- I dont know how that happened but I usually approach the girls in school with something about the class where she has said interesting and kind of build on thatr until she starts talking. I can talk for hours but I know girls love to give thier advice and I am willing to listen because I am interested in that particular girl. The problem is I havent gotten to the point with an american girl to where I am suppoce to pull the strings- I know what that means I have been in relationship but with girls from my nationality and no way do I let them climb on top of my head. I am just looking for that girl that would give me a chance.

 

I have never broken up with a girl because she wanted to be with someone else - I have been told by her that she needs me but unfortuantelly I had to come back here and long distance relationship is kinna hard but I talk to her almost every day on the phone. I dont know if a girl gives me a chance I believe that she would not want to go with another guy. I think that everyone is unique and I like to put that foreward, I say random thing that they dont expect which is funny and yet unexpected and not boaring so I like to take a girl higher than she has ever gone before - all I need is a chance that is what I guess I am really looking for- an aswer to the question How can I get a chance with a girl? and plz dont ask question whether she is out of my league because there is no league when comes to people, one girl can be really pretty think that she is all that but her attitude may stink and I dont this that is of the highest league.

 

Give me some more nice responces so I can get some help

 

Thanks Alex

[Cous Cous With Goose]

No I know what you mean there really is no league.

 

Man this one's hard, I've never been in this situation before where girls are cold.

 

Do you make good eye contact with her? Cause that's really important.

[alextop30]

I really use not to be able to but I am no more I keep very good eye contact. I dont look at the girls breasts when we are talking I keep my eyes focused very gently on hers so it does not seem that I am stearing at her but yet I do maintain good eye contact person's eyes say a lot about them