Complicated situation...

[dudeski]

Thanks for reading this in advance....now where do I begin?

 

I have been broken up with my ex-girlfriend for about a year now and she still sends me mixed signals via text messages, phone calls, and emails. We were high school sweet hearts and dated throughout much of college. We had a few breaks and break ups but always found each other back together. We have both been seeing other people for the last year. She has a new boyfriend and I have a girlfriend. I am not very serious about my new girlfriend but I like having the comfort and support of just having someone who is around.

 

My ex-girlfriend broke up with me. She said that we should take this break-up more seriously and not talk as often. I took her suggestion to heart and screened her random phone calls and did not reply to her text messages or emails for a few months immediately following the break-up. In recent months, her communications have become more frequent and send mixed signals to me. I still love her very much and always will. In her most recent email to me she said that she loved me but she said that she wasn't trying to send mixed signals. I just don't understand what she really wants.

 

I know that we were more than just boyfriend and girlfriend. We had a really passionate, deep, and emotional love for one another. She was also my best friend, which seems to happen after dating someone for six years roughly. Some days she is all that I can think about still and I want her back. When I think about whether we could ever get back together I think that it would be very difficult to do for both of us. I just don't really understand her motivations for contacting me so frequently.

 

I am ok with being friends with her but she sends me mixed signals at the same time as telling me that she is not sending mixed signals. She suggested that we not talk very often, yet she is the one calling, texting, and emailing. I would just like to hear some advice on how to think about these happenings. I feel like I have really been blocked off from the world and my current relationship because I devote so much of my emotions to my ex-girlfriend.

 

I know that no one can really know what my ex-girlfriend wants, including her but maybe some guesses would be helpful. I mean, is she trying to keep me attached to her so that I am still there for her whenever she feels like calling, emailing, or texting? Or is she wanting me to break-up with my current girlfriend to try and reconcile our relationship? She seems to be saying one thing and doing another. Why did our relationship have to get so confusing? I look forward to your replies....

[underpants]

Six years is along time. You two basically grew up together. I know you have a bond and genuine love for each other and that no matter where life takes you a part of your hearts will always be with each other.

 

That being said. This is so unfair to your current partnerships and for your future. It seems like she likes to know you will be there for her, yet she cannot really just be fully happy with you. I am afraid also that this is a pattern you two have developed and it will continue to frustrate you both and prevent you two from moving foward with your lives.

 

If you know that you do not love your current gf then why are you doing this to her? Not nice, however, you are really doing this to yourself.

 

I think you should break the pattern with the ex and make a beautiful relationship with the girl that has proven to be there for you.

 

Getting back together with the ex will not fix whatever breaks you two up each time you try.

 

Whatever you decide you need to go into it with a full heart and not look back either way. Someone will lose and it may just be you.

 

Don't cheat, and you are on a path if you start communicating with your ex.

 

Be careful and good luck. Love is what you make it.

[polywog]

I did exactly what your ex is doing. I broke up with my first love, who was crazy about me, and also my dearest closest friend, when I went away to college. I fell in love with another man who I was with for five years.

 

During this time, altho I was in love with another, I maintained contact with my ex. I knew he was still in love, and being terribly immature, I wanted him to still love me. He was trying to be just friends, and I thought that is what I was doing, but I really wasn't... I was stringing him along. I selfishly wanted him to be in love with me, only me, for ever, tho I didn't admit this to myself.

 

One day, about four years after our break up, he called me to let me know he was getting married. I was devastated and cried and told him I could not believe it. He was taken aback, of course, and I made a real ass of myself. My poor boyfriend was in the apartment with me and was understandably upset by this. He could not understand that tho I didn't love the ex anymore and was in love with him, that I could be so selfish.

 

Thank god I have grown up, that was a long time ago. When I read your post I immediately got the feeling that this is what your ex is doing. I say, cut off contact... please do not let her string you along.