Rape

[Pyro]

I think making sweeping generalizatons about men is what some men do when they want to just excuse behaviour by 'maleness' alone and not accept personal responsibility.

 

Thats brilliant.

 

I never thought of that before.

[JamesM]

well, basically, its a power thing...most men are capable of it given the proper circumstances.

 

Yes, to a degree I agree. However, I am willing to guess if you look at as much porn as you say you do or did, then your mind has been warped in what you believe. Don't take that harshly,. but it has been shown..and I know from personal experience, the more you look at a certain type of porn, the more you believe it to be true...even if it is your subconscience.

 

For instance, we look at lesbian porn. We begin to believe that most women want sex with other women. We watch gay porn. We believe that there is a larger percentage of gay men. We begin to watch animal sex, rape fantasy, child porn, etc. We become accustomed to it and actualy believe it is okay. It is called desensitization.

 

No, most men under ordinary circumstances are not capable of rape. And truthfully, most men even under extreme circumstances will not rape a woman.

[Porn_Guy]

And truthfully, most men even under extreme circumstances will not rape a woman.

I disagree....then why are there all these laws protecting females?? In addition, men have been raping women for eons.....way before modern day porn was invented.

[amaysngrace]

No, most men under ordinary circumstances are not capable of rape. And truthfully, most men even under extreme circumstances will not rape a woman.

 

I agree with the above. Most men couldn't fathom it. To say all men have it in them is just bizarre.

 

The mind is what separates humans from animals. Most men are human.

 

Rapists and those who can conceive it lack a fundamental element inside their brains which differentiates between right from wrong and should be removed from society IMO.

[Citizen Erased]

I disagree....then why are there all these laws protecting females?? In addition, men have been raping women for eons.....way before modern day porn was invented.

 

How old are you? You seem to be slightly immature in your logic.

[Pyro]

I agree with the above. Most men couldn't fathom it. To say all men have it in them is just bizarre.

 

The mind is what separates humans from animals. Most men are human.

 

Rapists and those who can conceive it lack a fundamental element inside their brains which differentiates between right from wrong and should be removed from society IMO.

 

Exactly. I would like to see any studies that say most men are capable of rape.

[amaysngrace]

How old are you? You seem to be slightly immature in your logic.

 

He's like 50

[Pyro]

He's like 50

 

From some of his posts, I would have guessed teenager.

[amaysngrace]

From some of his posts, I would have guessed teenager.

 

Maybe mentally.

 

It's sort of like being stuck at an age due to traumatic events. Some stay in a certain mentality because their growth has been stunted at that particular time in their lives. They never grow emotionally.

 

The responsible thing to do in that case is to address it, get help if need be, and move past it. Unfortunately some people won't admit they have a problem.

[lonelybird]

I disagree....then why are there all these laws protecting females?? In addition, men have been raping women for eons.....way before modern day porn was invented.

that because in acient times there were also evil spirits. but now evil spirit developed violent porn, children porn, and gay porn, so the media is good pipe to transport those evil spirits to people who watch it.

[Pyro]

Maybe mentally.

 

It's sort of like being stuck at an age due to traumatic events. Some stay in a certain mentality because their growth has been stunted at that particular time in their lives. They never grow emotionally.

 

The responsible thing to do in that case is to address it, get help if need be, and move past it. Unfortunately some people won't admit they have a problem.

 

You are a very wise woman.

 

The first step to recovery is admitting your faults.

[amaysngrace]

You are a very wise woman.

 

 

 

I love you too.

[Arianna72]

It is certainly a power and control thing though I do think there is more sexual undertones than many are willing to admit.

 

While I certainly don't think all men are capable of rape the fact of the matter is that it is also not just "old scarry uncle Larry" raping women. While some men certainly are more capable than others, given the statistics on how many women are raped I assure you more men are capable of it than any of us would like to think.

[Citizen Erased]

He's like 50

 

oh dear.... definetely wouldn't have picked that!

[lindya]

I think making sweeping generalizatons about men is what some men do when they want to just excuse behaviour by 'maleness' alone and not accept personal responsibility.

 

Absolutely. I'm in agreement with James that heavy use of violent porn (the type that eroticises rape) seems to desensitise weaker-minded, easily influenced viewers towards this form of violence and encourage them to view it as "natural"

[burning 4 revenge]

oh dear.... definetely wouldn't have picked that!

I think that our over-exposure to porn is one of the chief reasons we're a generation of children. I don't think it's the only reason-certainly popular music, substandard televison and film and other mediocre aspects of media are at play ,but I think porn is one of them.

 

What's ironic is that P_G recently complained in a thread about the lack of substance in modern culture. I don't see how he can't link the emphasis on superficial sensuality with our lack of depth and intellectual examination.

 

Why do they call it adult entertainment?

[CaliGuy]

Just out of curiosity, has any man here ever been raped? Is that even possible?!

 

(if so, how does one go about it?! )

[JamesM]

Just out of curiosity, has any man here ever been raped? Is that even possible?!

 

(if so, how does one go about it?! )

 

I have heard that the best comparison a guy can have to a woman being raped is to have a man forcefully f**k him in the a** against his will. So, then if you want to ask has a man been raped...yes. In a rape, a woman feels completely helpless. She cannot prevent what is happening. Her body feels violated. That is why the feelings that a man would feel from the above situation is really the only way a man can imagine what goes through the mind of a woman during rape.

 

Can a man be raped by a woman? Yes. Even though he "gets it up," it may not be what he really wants. Men have physical reactions that their mind does not agree with. For instance, you may have a female boss come on to you, but you are married. You say know, but she keeps going. Your body goes with it, and your mind is helpless to quit. Afterwards you feel taken advantage of, but no one will ever say that you could not have stopped. Yes, you could have, but the pressure was too great. Still, this cannot be compared to the rape of a woman.

[JackJack]

WTF is the point of this thread, anyway?

 

I agree and would imgaine to those that have been in a situation like that, this can be a "trigger" for them.

 

It can be debated all day long what may or may not motivate a rapist, but I would think there are alot of factors that only the rapist may really know. Its one of those things where ya can beat your head against a wall over and over again to try and understand, but yet no amount of trying to understand will make it better or any clearer.

[Porn_Guy]

WTF is the point of this thread, anyway?

.

the point is JJ that as long as men are physically stronger than women and have much more testosterone in their bodies the raping will continue. so i don't see any change in the near future. look at whats going on in Darfur.

[johan]

I think only someone incapable of compassion is capable of rape. It takes a bit of a twisted soul to be able to look a scared, tortured woman in the eye and then rape or harm her. If you assert that circumstances can remove any man's capability to feel compassion, and also provide him with the rage toward women that would cause him to brutalize them, then you can assert that any man could become a rapist.

 

I think a lack of compassion, similar what it takes to call a scared, confused young girl being abused by her boyfriend "ignorant" and in the same discussion assert that it's ok for men to beat women, is the first step. I think a certain level of bitterness and anger toward women is the next step. I also think shallowness and general irrationality when challenged can contribute.

 

Some men are closer to being rapists than others. I don't admire guys who exhibit any of those traits. Especially when they show almost no capacity for introspection. That is a guy you cannot trust. Sometimes they are the most amusing and charming guys around, and that makes them even more disturbing.

[lonelybird]

johan

The rationality limited you. and compassion don't come from rationality.

Where does the compassion come from?

[polywog]

I have been reading this thread and wonder if any of you saw that Frontline documentary on a prison program (I think maybe in Massachussetts, but I could be wrong) where psychologists working with convicted rapists had groups of these men that they were working with meet female victims of rape. These were not the actual victims these men had raped, but victims of rape nevetheless. It was one of the most wrenching things I have ever watched. As a woman who has the "cut their balls off" attitude (I have has some friends who were brutally raped), I actually felt that this documentary humanized these men. They cried like babies after listening to these women's stories, and the women got to see these rapists as humans instead of monsters. It was incredibly moving to listen to the men describe how they felt when they raped thier victims; they were so detatched, so when they listened to the victims they were forced to face the damage they did to another human's psyche, and relate to their victim's pain. Most of these men, if not all, came from backgrounds where they had been brutalized as children, so meeting and learning to empathise with rape victims was like a breach in a wall against their own buried pain and trauma.

 

One of the most upsetting things was that despite this, and depite a very real desire to stop being rapists, some of them after all this were jailed for rape Again after release from prison! After going though this program and wanting to change! One guy just realized that he could not change his behavior and admitted that he could not lead a life outside of prison.

 

As for those of you on this thread who wondered about men getting raped, my mother worked at a crisis center for years back in the '70s. She was very rattled when a college kid, a male, came in who had been raped by a stranger while walking home from class. He was too freaked out and ashamed to call the police. Gotta wonder about how many times this has happened! One of my boyfriends was raped by his roomate and never reported it, it really f****d him up for years. Also, a friend of mine who is in his 50s now told me that as a teenager he was thrown in jail for a few days after being caught with some pot. He was raped by several men.

 

Lastly (I know this is a long post) I am disturbed by the posters who talk about women wearing provocative clothing, etc. Are you aware that a lot of old women get raped? How about little kids getting raped? And for the poster who mentioned gay pornography in the same paragraph as child pornography, shame on you for being homophobic, or maybe sorry that you are so ignorant as to not understand that there is nothing aberrant about loving the same sex, as it's not a choice and is part of the human continuum. End of rantish post.

[JamesM]

And for the poster who mentioned gay pornography in the same paragraph as child pornography, shame on you for being homophobic, or maybe sorry that you are so ignorant as to not understand that there is nothing aberrant about loving the same sex, as it's not a choice and is part of the human continuum.

 

This may get off topic, but I take offense at this comment, so I will explain.

 

First, when someone makes a comment that appears to be anti-gay, he is immediately labelled as homophobic. Mentioning gay porn in the same sentence as child porn means nothing (even though it was not in the same sentence). And it certainly does not mean that the poster is "afraid of homosexuals." Does that mean when someone makes a comment against females, blacks, Christians, Jews, etc. he or she is a "phobe?" If I make a comment that offends Christians, then I am labelled a Christiophobe? If I make a comment that shows hatred against Jews, am I called a Hebre-phobe? No, then we call that free speech.

 

Second, gay porn was not mentioned in the same sentence as child porn. Gay porn simply was used to say that what we see we believe. Many surveys have shown that when we watch certain kinds of porn, we have a viewpoint that reflects what we see.

 

I made the comment, and I can say that I am not afraid of anybody based on their sexual orientation. I have relatives who are in the gay lifestyle, I have had friends who were in the gay lifestyle, and I have hired those who are gay. In fact, I slept in the same room as a gay man. He was a friend and a coworker. I think that quite obviously shows that I am not afraid of anyone based on their lifestyle. Whether it is something that can be changed or whether or not it is aberrant as you state is not even relevant to my comment. My beliefs in no way indicate my level of fear.

 

When it comes to ignorance, using the label "homophobe" shows an ignorance of the English language. (Should I call that person a "Engliophobe?") Personally, I think a better term should be used, since a phobic person is a fearful person. I believe that this term is being used for those that appear to hate homosexuals. A better term would utilize anger in the word not fear.

[polywog]

Sorry to upset you, JM. Guess I misunderstood the context.