forbidenlove Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Forgive me if this has already been "discussed/posted" on here,but I was just wondering if any of you had any plans with your MM or OW on Valentines Day or any other Valentines Day's in the past?? If not then how do yall handle it?? Does he talk with you on this day or try and avoid you all-together?? has he/she done anything special for you (being the OW in the relationship)?? Im dreading this upcoming holiday because ME being the OW ,I know that he will probaly spend it with his W..This is my first time being involved with a MM ,things were going down hill between us two,but NOW things couldn't be any better..Anyway I don't really feel like getting into how we met,are drama,etc but I will say that we have been "seeing each other" for about 6 months and that I KNOW for a fact that he LOVES me and I LOVE him..it's just hard to spend "quality time" with one another on the holidays.. because of obvious reasons ;-)
PollyPocket Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I AM THE OBVIOUS REASON I have to go now. No offense intended.
Author forbidenlove Posted January 25, 2007 Author Posted January 25, 2007 also we don't have plans on Valentine's Day (witch i am FINE with!) so me sitting home and "crying" is not going to happen,i actually have plans to go out with a few freinds..sorry to dissapoint you :-) sure i might feel down ,and so would any other person in my situation,..but it's not going to ruin my day ,or make me feel unloved.
stillhere Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 FL, i'm apologizing because i would have gladly answered your thread, but i'm not here for a p*ssing match. I hope you have a wonderful time out with your friends, and i will be having a wonderful time in. Don't ever mope around waiting for him, you will break your own heart.
Kathleen Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Wait I just called my Husband he isnt answering. Which leads me to believe he is at skinny's place. I did leave a message asking what their plans are for the lovely day. This is getting a little scary now. Is there anything anyone here can do to help you? Please...
stillhere Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Wait I just called my Husband he isnt answering. Which leads me to believe he is at skinny's place. I did leave a message asking what their plans are for the lovely day. Not exactly sure what you are getting at. Are you trying to say that i'm your H's OW? I don't even think so.
Ladyjane14 Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I honestly don't know WHAT some of you are doing posting in this section. Lord knows, I don't agree with the OW's position on infidelity. In fact, if any BS's out in the other forums ask me... I'm going to tell them that Valentine's Day is a GREAT time to hire a PI and bust a cheater. But what I'm NOT going to do is come in here trying to FORCE my opinion on others. If I post here... I'm going to TRY to have a specific point. This has become RIDICULOUS. These folks can't use the space designed for THEIR use here at LS. That's not right, and it's not in the spirit of THIS board. My advice to OM and OW.... use the "Ignore" and "Report" features. For EVERYBODY's sake. Just do it already. :bunny:
stillhere Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I honestly don't know WHAT some of you are doing posting in this section. Lord knows, I don't agree with the OW's position on infidelity. In fact, if any BS's out in the other forums ask me... I'm going to tell them that Valentine's Day is a GREAT time to hire a PI and bust a cheater. But what I'm NOT going to do is come in here trying to FORCE my opinion on others. If I post here... I'm going to TRY to have a specific point. This has become RIDICULOUS. These folks can't use the space designed for THEIR use here at LS. That's not right, and it's not in the spirit of THIS board. My advice to OM and OW.... use the "Ignore" and "Report" features. For EVERYBODY's sake. Just do it already. :bunny: Thanks LJ, and i agree with you 100%. There have been times when you and i have agreed to disagree, but you have always been respectful. I have already reported a few posts, and like i said, CA and PP won't be here for long with the comments they make. I don't venture into infedility, that is for the hurting BS, and i respect that. The ones who have nothing to offer should do the same for us OW/OM.
CarterAmeri Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Really a PI. He wont tell me where she lives. I would love to see her for myself. I really am not trying to cause chaos. I just think these women should see the truth. Most of them were lied to from the start. How can you honeslty love someone who lied to you.
yousaveme Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 You dont have anything nice to say then dont say anything at all. As far as Valentine Day goes. Handle it the best way you can. If you arent together. Just remember as long as he loves you. His thoughts and heart are where they are suppose to be. WITH YOU.
Ladyjane14 Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Thanks LJ, and i agree with you 100%. There have been times when you and i have agreed to disagree, but you have always been respectful. Thanks for saying that. I do think I push the envelope sometimes though. But seriously, y'all need to take your space back, and the only way to do that is to assiduously avoid getting into these kinds of confrontations. If it means you end up putting ME on "Ignore", I don't mind. If it comes to that... that's what you need to do.
erika2610 Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Thanks for saying that. I do think I push the envelope sometimes though. But seriously, y'all need to take your space back, and the only way to do that is to assiduously avoid getting into these kinds of confrontations. If it means you end up putting ME on "Ignore", I don't mind. If it comes to that... that's what you need to do. I don't see why anybody would put you on ignore. I honeslty don't see as how you've ever caused a problem here. And I've been around for quite a while. It's these BS that come here just to take their frustration out at OW, instead of going into infidelity to try to get support from people in their situations that are the problem.
NoIDidn't Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Carter, Hire a PI ASAP!! Valentine's Day is the best day to catch a cheat. That, and stay away from this forum, if you can't avoid the hostility. Things here can get heated between OW and BW, but we should all be able to have even a heated conversation without the obvious hostility. I really feel for you. But coming here and asking honest questions with tons of hostility will get you nothing, or might even get you banned. There are nice folks here, OW/BW/OM (no real MM posting here), and they have taught me a lot. Please stop lashing out at them. They don't deserve that.
Ladyjane14 Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I don't see why anybody would put you on ignore. Kind of you to say so Erika ... but hey, even I know that my attitude towards this is sometimes confrontational. My point is... that it wouldn't hurt my feelings if it came to that, and an OW or OM shouldn't hesitate to put ANYBODY on "ignore status" if they feel like they're being censored. We talked about it extensively on another thread... so you know that I don't think it's necessary for OWs to have the betrayed spouse's opinion forced upon them in order to make good use out of the board. They can get what they need to get accomplished all on their own. (...end of thread-jack )
dothawoman Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Really a PI. He wont tell me where she lives. I would love to see her for myself. I really am not trying to cause chaos. I just think these women should see the truth. Most of them were lied to from the start. How can you honeslty love someone who lied to you. The [COLOR=#333333]probability [/COLOR]& [COLOR=#333333]possibility [/COLOR]is there to fall in love w/ MM. In mine own experience it think i fell in love w/ the probability & possibility of being w/ that person.
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Forgive me if this has already been "discussed/posted" on here,but I was just wondering if any of you had any plans with your MM or OW on Valentines Day or any other Valentines Day's in the past?? If not then how do yall handle it?? Does he talk with you on this day or try and avoid you all-together?? has he/she done anything special for you (being the OW in the relationship)?? Im dreading this upcoming holiday because ME being the OW ,I know that he will probaly spend it with his W..This is my first time being involved with a MM ,things were going down hill between us two,but NOW things couldn't be any better..Anyway I don't really feel like getting into how we met,are drama,etc but I will say that we have been "seeing each other" for about 6 months and that I KNOW for a fact that he LOVES me and I LOVE him..it's just hard to spend "quality time" with one another on the holidays.. because of obvious reasons ;-) I love Valentines Day . I got a really sweet present last year and my MM called me all night, I think to "prove" he wasn't doing anything, but couldn't spend it with me in person at that point. This year he can, I'm really looking forward to it. If I couldn't spend it with him I wouldn't mind though. Last year I went out with all my single girlfriends and we had a great night together. Happy Valentines Day whatever you do. If you're scared you're going to be feeling a bit down, surround yourself with the people you love, friends, family, and show them you love them too.
Babybird Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Dothawoman I can see some of that in myself also. What are we going to do on V-Day? Probably nothing. There are certain days that he comes over. V-day isn't one of those days. He won't do anything with his wife. Anything that involves one-on-one time with her has become a very rare thing. While people are answering this question what is a special thing that you do for MM when you can't go out? I am still trying to figure something romantic but not totally based on making love. Any ideas?
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Dothawoman I can see some of that in myself also. What are we going to do on V-Day? Probably nothing. There are certain days that he comes over. V-day isn't one of those days. He won't do anything with his wife. Anything that involves one-on-one time with her has become a very rare thing. While people are answering this question what is a special thing that you do for MM when you can't go out? I am still trying to figure something romantic but not totally based on making love. Any ideas? I know it sounds totally corny but I make it HIS day, cook his favourite breakfast, watch his favourite DVD, listen to his favourite music, cook his favourite food then I give him a bath, not sexual, just really relaxing when someone scrubs your back. However, it sometimes does lead on... I get all his little favourites in and just make him know he's my best person
pricillia Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Is this a joke? Plans? He will be having a romantic dinner with his wife at their favorite place. Or he will send the kiddies to grandmoms and have candles and dinner waiting for his wife. They will not even finish dinner because they are staring into eachothers eyes. And off to bed. While you are home crying and believing his is thinking about you. So plans? Go get a good book on how to cook for one. Looks like the b**** bug bit someone today...
frannie Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Forgive me if this has already been "discussed/posted" on here,but I was just wondering if any of you had any plans with your MM or OW on Valentines Day or any other Valentines Day's in the past?? If not then how do yall handle it?? Does he talk with you on this day or try and avoid you all-together?? has he/she done anything special for you (being the OW in the relationship)?? Yesterday when he was here he checked his diary without me having even bought up the subject, and said hey good news, I can be down here on the 14th and we can do something special in the evening. We haven't talked about what that's going to be yet. Unfortunately we won't have the place to ourselves that week, so it's going to be going out of some kind. Maybe a new place we haven't tried before, something a little special. But I suppose we ought to think about it because most places will be getting booked up by now! He and his wife never do anything special for Valentines day, so even if he's not here I'm not going to be fretting about anything. If I thought he was in love with or cared to share anything with her this would have been over years ago.
Ripples Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Er, Frannie, surely if he wasn't in love with his wife, or didn't care to shared anything with her, his marriage would have been over years ago? I know, I know...... just can't help saying
frannie Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Er, Frannie, surely if he wasn't in love with his wife, or didn't care to shared anything with her, his marriage would have been over years ago? I know, I know...... just can't help saying Well yes, in terms of his relationship with her, it is over. In terms of his wanting to be with his kids in their own home, and not putting them through divorce, and not wantint to be the Dad who takes them out to eat and catches up with their lives, no it isn't. I know some people say it's better for them to divorce, and make new lives and all that, but that's not up to me. I have no real say in the matter. Even he thinks that it would be the 'right' thing to do in some ways. But not in others. He sat down to tell her he thought it was 'best for all concerned' if he left... and realised that he didn't feel that way. It would be best for him and me, but not for the children (to his mind). So, there you have it. And please, if anyone disagrees, why not go talking about it with other men who feel the same way as my MM, not with me. It's not MY choice to make.
Ripples Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Well yes, in terms of his relationship with her, it is over. In terms of his wanting to be with his kids in their own home, and not putting them through divorce, and not wantint to be the Dad who takes them out to eat and catches up with their lives, no it isn't. I know some people say it's better for them to divorce, and make new lives and all that, but that's not up to me. I have no real say in the matter. Even he thinks that it would be the 'right' thing to do in some ways. But not in others. He sat down to tell her he thought it was 'best for all concerned' if he left... and realised that he didn't feel that way. It would be best for him and me, but not for the children (to his mind). So, there you have it. And please, if anyone disagrees, why not go talking about it with other men who feel the same way as my MM, not with me. It's not MY choice to make. That's why I said "I know, I know..."
puddleofmud Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 A PI might be good idea for you CA. Take your life into your own hands and assert yourself--find the answers you need without being passive-agressive w/ others that have nothing to do w/ your particular situation. Deal w/ what is hurting you directly; make some good decisions for yourself. In other words stop wasting time and energy and put your energy where it counts! Taking care of YOU (in reality). Really a PI. He wont tell me where she lives. I would love to see her for myself. I really am not trying to cause chaos. I just think these women should see the truth. Most of them were lied to from the start. How can you honeslty love someone who lied to you.
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