CarterAmeri Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I have a question for the OW out there. What do you entertain yourself with when your sweetie is home with his family? I wonder that sometimes. When he was here and had family over and events. What was the little woman doing? Well, when he was out doing ERRANDS. I take care of the kids. The house . Make dinner. Talk to family and friends. Here is another question. So what happens do you wait and then he comes over and you have mad passionate love. And then gets dressed , kisses you and says see you next time? Does he use the bathroom, the kitchen . Does he leave a dirty mess for you to clean up? Really i am curious of the routine of a OW.
Kathleen Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I have a question for the OW out there. What do you entertain yourself with when your sweetie is home with his family? I wonder that sometimes. When he was here and had family over and events. What was the little woman doing? Well, when he was out doing ERRANDS. I take care of the kids. The house . Make dinner. Talk to family and friends. Here is another question. So what happens do you wait and then he comes over and you have mad passionate love. And then gets dressed , kisses you and says see you next time? Does he use the bathroom, the kitchen . Does he leave a dirty mess for you to clean up? Really i am curious of the routine of a OW. So much built up anger & hostility is not good for one's health & wellbeing. You need to calm down befor you stroke out.
Author CarterAmeri Posted January 25, 2007 Author Posted January 25, 2007 Sorry if my in your face attitude isnt all warm and fuzzy. But I am curious about the routine. I really want to hear about those souls out there that didnt know he was married.
Kathleen Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Sorry if my in your face attitude isnt all warm and fuzzy. But I am curious about the routine. I really want to hear about those souls out there that didnt know he was married. I apologize for answering your question with a question, but how will an ow's answer to your question ever help you in your situation?
lover's rock Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 What she asks is interesting and I can understand why she'd want to know. It's more of a wondering of how he behaves over there...if it's the same. I wonder if he apologizes for farting or if he washes dishes after he cooks (if he cooks). Whether he hangs up his clothes in the closet or leaves them on the floor for you to pick up. Whether he puts the toilet seat down or leaves it up. Whether he showed you the engraved watch I gave him for Christmas that he leaves the house with every morning. Whether he's always on his phone, do you walk him to the car and kiss him goodnight or goodbye. Do you cook for him and does he tell you you're the best cook too? Does he burp and say excuse me? It's interesting how men compartmentalize. I've often found that most MM (who actually spend time at home with their family half the time) say the same thing to the wife as they do to the OW. He makes future plans with them both...plans with his parents, plans with his children...it's only time that wonders which will come into fruition. We wonder if he participates in the fantasy that is a love affair. The H's we know (imho) couldn't fool us with that bull...even though it would be nice if he tried.
PollyPocket Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I'm in this too. I'd like the same answers. Thanks.
Author CarterAmeri Posted January 25, 2007 Author Posted January 25, 2007 Funny part they cant give answers. Real ones anyway. They are still wearing those horse blinders.
Author CarterAmeri Posted January 25, 2007 Author Posted January 25, 2007 No No Please enlighten me. Did you know your BF was married?
erika2610 Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Did you say horse blinders? I say whore blinders. Again, not to anyone specific. Just venting. Now that was just downright rude. You won't get any real answers with comments like that, and you know it. But anyways, to answer the question - what did I entertain myself with? A life. When he was home, I was at work or I was out. Just like when I have a normal boyfriend and he is home. And what did he do over at my house? He never left a mess, and yes he used the bathroom and the kitchen. When he burped he would say excuse me. We both worked weird hours, so neither of us cooked. We went out to eat a few times. Toilet seat down. After we had sex, we would sometimes cuddle, and then he'd leave, and we gave each other a goodbye kiss. He'd say he'd see me later. *we worked together anyway* In my house, he acted just like any other man would.
MoonGirl Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 CA, You're obviously in a lot of emotional agony right now. Most people on LS are here to help those who have problems, but you will likely not gain any suggestions if you come off as bitter and mean. The OWs here are NOT your OW. Many of them have been mislead by the MM ("I'm not married" "We're separated" "I'm leaving my marriage" "My marriage is very unhappy" blablabla). Life is not predictable. Anything can happen, as you know. You're in a situation you don't want to be in, don't deserve to be in, and never foresaw happening. I am in a similar situation. I married what I thought was a nice, educated, professional man. We bought a house, had 2 kids, got a dog and put up a white picked fence. Then he started beating me and one of the kids. Am I happy about it? Far from it! Am I bitter? No. I know that bitterness and victimizing myself will only create more pain for me and my children. Life continues. Take your kids and leave your husband. Your bitterness doesn't only affect you, but it affects your innocent children. They deserve to have a mommy who is happy. And you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be treated with respect and love. As for your husband, stop washing his clothes, making him dinner, scrubbing his toilet, etc. If it makes you more bitter, then why do you do it? My husband is banished to the basement. There, he takes his showers and pees in his own toilet, which I NEVER clean. It is probably growing legs as we speak. I don't wash his clothes and I don't feed him. If he can't treat me with the love and respect I deserve, then why should I treat him any differently? A therapist has also been very helpful for me. Please think of your happiness and your childrens' well-being. Living in a home with an absent father and a bitter mother doesn't sound very fun.
Author CarterAmeri Posted January 25, 2007 Author Posted January 25, 2007 what is it with the eye avatars? trying to show the hurting soul? I dont do his clothes. He does. As far as my OW isnt here. How do I know? Just like she might think I am not here.
Kathleen Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 what is it with the eye avatars? trying to show the hurting soul? I dont do his clothes. He does. As far as my OW isnt here. How do I know? Just like she might think I am not here. Om My Goodness, My Eye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
erika2610 Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 what is it with the eye avatars? trying to show the hurting soul? I dont do his clothes. He does. As far as my OW isnt here. How do I know? Just like she might think I am not here. You're welcome for answering your question. I like eye avatars. That's all. Actually, I used to have BTDT's avatar!
BenThereDunThat Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 what is it with the eye avatars? trying to show the hurting soul? I dont do his clothes. He does. As far as my OW isnt here. How do I know? Just like she might think I am not here. As a matter of fact, someone very dear to me just passed away, so yes, my soul is hurting. Thanks for asking.
Author CarterAmeri Posted January 25, 2007 Author Posted January 25, 2007 sorry. skinny is sick. Should I hurt for her? Nope. ( sorry i had a weak moment)
lover's rock Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 LOL, I went through that phase too. Carter will be fine in about 6 months. Soon enough she'll realize it's all bull and she'll leave or she just won't give a **** anymore. If it's the latter, she'll either be sweet and dedicated and enjoy being right (which means that chances are her H will give up the OW eventually and gradually or suddenly, whatever works for him) or she'll get herself a boyfriend. Either way...c'est la vie!
Romeo Must Die Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 If you and Polly can find one more BW, you can complete the trilogy of Medusa and the sisters of Gorgon. "Near them the sisters three, the Gorgons, winged creatures with snakes for hair and hated of mortal man" PS Kathleen sheild your eyes!
MoonGirl Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 The chance of your H's OW being on LS are next to zero percent. It was your H that married you and said vows to you. Take your anger out on him. The OW was probably lied to and in pain too.
Kathleen Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 If you and Polly can find one more BW, you can complete the trilogy of Medusa and the sisters of Gorgon. "Near them the sisters three, the Gorgons, winged creatures with snakes for hair and hated of mortal man" PS Kathleen sheild your eyes! I have my dark sunglasses on now as I type this. Thanks!!!
NearlyThere Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 If you and Polly can find one more BW, you can complete the trilogy of Medusa and the sisters of Gorgon. "Near them the sisters three, the Gorgons, winged creatures with snakes for hair and hated of mortal man" PS Kathleen sheild your eyes! LMFAO. Your def one of the wittiest people I've come accross.
Je Ne Regrette Rien Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I have a question for the OW out there. What do you entertain yourself with when your sweetie is home with his family? I wonder that sometimes. When he was here and had family over and events. What was the little woman doing? Well, when he was out doing ERRANDS. I take care of the kids. The house . Make dinner. Talk to family and friends. Here is another question. So what happens do you wait and then he comes over and you have mad passionate love. And then gets dressed , kisses you and says see you next time? Does he use the bathroom, the kitchen . Does he leave a dirty mess for you to clean up? Really i am curious of the routine of a OW. I'm happy to answer your questions CA, if it helps. However, before I do, I do advise that it may be an idea to do a post on the "Infidelity" forum. There are many BS's on there that will listen to your story and give their experiences and their opinions on your situation. It may be more helpful to you at this stage than posting on the OW forum. Here goes... When my MM was home with his W and his children, my life generally went on as usual. I went to work, I went out with friends, decorated my house, went cycling and running, saw my family, just the usual. My day was always punctuated by hearing from him, through SMS messages, e-mails and telephone conversations. I thought about him all of the time, but whilst I was doing my normal life things. I didn't wait until he came over and make mad passionate love. Sometimes, he would come over and we would watch a film, listen to music, run together, lots of different things. Sometimes we would make love. Sometimes not. Not all affairs are based wholly on sex. He would use the bathroom. He would cook or I would cook. We would decorate together. Sometimes we would do absolutely nothing but sit and chit-chat. Walk the dogs. Go shopping together. Lots of normal things. I knew that he also did all of the normal things with his family at the time. He's separated now. There's never been a time when I have asked him to do that. I found love in this man, and believe me, I haven't experienced love like it. Pollypocket - sticks and stones...
pricillia Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 I'm happy to answer your questions CA, if it helps. However, before I do, I do advise that it may be an idea to do a post on the "Infidelity" forum. There are many BS's on there that will listen to your story and give their experiences and their opinions on your situation. It may be more helpful to you at this stage than posting on the OW forum. Here goes... When my MM was home with his W and his children, my life generally went on as usual. I went to work, I went out with friends, decorated my house, went cycling and running, saw my family, just the usual. My day was always punctuated by hearing from him, through SMS messages, e-mails and telephone conversations. I thought about him all of the time, but whilst I was doing my normal life things. I didn't wait until he came over and make mad passionate love. Sometimes, he would come over and we would watch a film, listen to music, run together, lots of different things. Sometimes we would make love. Sometimes not. Not all affairs are based wholly on sex. He would use the bathroom. He would cook or I would cook. We would decorate together. Sometimes we would do absolutely nothing but sit and chit-chat. Walk the dogs. Go shopping together. Lots of normal things. I knew that he also did all of the normal things with his family at the time. He's separated now. There's never been a time when I have asked him to do that. I found love in this man, and believe me, I haven't experienced love like it. Wow Je Ne, very well written. Show that you are a well rounded woman. I hope OP does not feel the need to toxify your situation.
freakygal78 Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Now you're just coming across as condescending and bitter - probably a lot of OW are just like you and have kids and home responsibilities also.....what makes you more noble? That fact that you are the only woman on this planet who has been hard done by? Are you jealous your husband ISN'T making a mess with you? Derision is not a very attractive quality no less objective if you actually want to elicit constructive responses..... oh but no...go on - you continue to believe the movies and think that we are handwashing our expensive italian hosiery and laying out our lingerie and powder puffing ourselves in preparation for MM's illicit visit - lmao!!!!
spinningwheels Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Carter--I will answer your questions, but I don't think that it will help you. I have been with MM for a little over a year. When I am not with MM I have a full life. It is (for me) just like dating a single man. I spend time working, with friends, family, and jogging. I have nights by myself--and nights with him. We see each other several times a week. We go out to dinner, we cook here, we watch movies, he sleeps over. We vacation together (several times a year--no not his buisness trips), we walk in the park, get coffee, and yes make love. He does use the kitchen, and bathroom, and the office, the living room.....you would think that he does, since he is here half of the time. We argue, make-up, laugh, and have a full relationship. We do dishes together, do yard work...you get the picture. The only time MM is home is when his wife is working and he is caring for his child. He is on the phone to me constantly when he is there....no secrets between us. On the weekend, the child is in another part of the state with the grandparents (w's parent's), and he is here with me---all night. His wife is home alone. So--I don't know if this is what you were looking for. I am sure that you would rather I say that I sit at home crying 23 hours a day, my only pleasure is the 1 hour he fits me in....But, not in this case. When he is at work, we still manage to speak at least 10 minutes an hour.....By the way, he has rented his own place for March. He is leaving.
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