handsome Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I have been dating my gf for almost 2 years now, she loves me very much and I love her too and I haven't seen any signs of betrayal or cheating on her part. We have a very close relationships I mean we make love once a week. we go to the same college I have my classes from 9-12 and she has her classes from 8-10 and 1-2.30. In between these hours when she is free she sits in the students lounge and with her friends and she met a guy who is from nigera, he is half nigera and half indian. he talks a lot i mean he can go on for hours and my gf and her friends i think they like his company. they are always talking about him, inviting him to the table and waiting for him to come especially my gf is always inviting him and telling her friends that they can't have fun without her being there. I dont like this I kind of feel jealous and intimidated. when he talk she pays very close attention to him and Im just sitting there thininking what to do, what to talk, is she interested in him, why she is giving so much importance to him, why she is always inviting him,will she dump me for him? is she flirting with him? is something going on between them? especailly why she is so much interest in him all these questions keep poping in my head and Im really stressting about this issue and I m always thinking how to overthrow him and show him down, or put him down, or Im trying to leave when he comes with my gf or just get away from him. I just love my gf very much and I dont want to loose her for anybody in this world and I want to marry her and have kids with her. Im so much in love with her and I want to spend rest of my life with her. she had a previous bf in India but they talked mostly over the phone and she met him in 2003 and once he wanted to marry her but they never had any physical relationship and talked to my gf mother and she got mad and did not approve and they broke up and then he got married in India and after couple of months I met her and I fell in love with her when I first saw her in college and started chasing her for six months and It took me another six months to get to know her and finally she started loving me and since then she has been with me and I was the first one to have a physical relationship with her. all her brother and sister know about our relationship expect her parents. I already told my parents about her and planning to get married to her. Im a shy type of guy, very emotional, sensitive and a nice guy thats what my gf says. I love her very much. I take her out to dinners, buy her gifts call her all the time, text her I love you many times a day and sometimes she texts me back that she loves me too but now after meeting this guy Im very intimitade and worried that my gf will leave me for him. I dont know what to do? I dont want to loose her. how can I know what is she upto? what is in her mind? what is she thinking about him? I want to know what's in her mind? do you think I should talk to her and tell her how i feel about this but Im worried that I will ruin the relationship by doubting her and not trusting in her. I trust her very much. I know she will not do anything stupid to ruin this realtionship but Im just worried a lot after I met this guy. Im thinking all the time about this issue I can't concentrate on my studies and sitting here and typing all this. I dont know what to do please help I really need to whats going on and how to stop all this and worry less about this issue. please help me I really appriciate honest comments. I know its put almost all the details her and very long to read but I really need serious help.
dropdeadlegs Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Maybe she enjoys talking with him because he is interesting and from a different culture. I think you will have to speak to her if this is bothering you so much. Don't be accusatory or demand she not talk to him, just ask her about her fascination with him in the most loving way possible. You draw more flies with molasses than vinegar and if you bring this up calmly and don't freak out about anything you can get to the bottom of it and determine what she is getting from this friendship. Then you can deal with it if there is more emotional involvement than you would like.
Author handsome Posted January 30, 2007 Author Posted January 30, 2007 anymore suggestions please it is not clear, if you dont mind can you stress on it please "Give 'em something to talk about or they'll just make something up" . I would really appriciate thank you.
dropdeadlegs Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 anymore suggestions please it is not clear, if you dont mind can you stress on it please "Give 'em something to talk about or they'll just make something up" . I would really appriciate thank you. When you live in a small town people don't seem to have anything getter to do than to gossip and talk about others. The littlest thing seems to snowball and become something so much bigger (usually meaning worse) than it ever was to begin with. Everything gets all exaggerated. That tagline is a bit tongue in cheek, but if you give them something really worthy of gossiping about, they won't have to make anything up. Have you talked to your girlfriend about her friend yet?
wrastler Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 You really need to talk to her about it. I have been in a similar situation before and it didn't end good. I just let it go and didn't say anything. It eventually bothered me so bad, that I approached her about it in a very angry way and it led to our breakup. Sadly to say she dated the other guy a month later. However, you have the chance to talk to her now and do it calmly and just tell her that you have noticed a few things and that you need to know that she loves you as much as you love her. Ask her why she finds him interesting, and things like that. DO NOT GET ANGRY. It is the worst thing you can do. It could be that she likes him as a friend and nothing else and she will tell you that. If she shows that she loves you then you have nothing to worry about
Guest Posted February 2, 2007 Posted February 2, 2007 When you live in a small town people don't seem to have anything getter to do than to gossip and talk about others. The littlest thing seems to snowball and become something so much bigger (usually meaning worse) than it ever was to begin with. Everything gets all exaggerated. That tagline is a bit tongue in cheek, but if you give them something really worthy of gossiping about, they won't have to make anything up. Have you talked to your girlfriend about her friend yet? No I haven't talk to her about this issue. But recently she is been missing me more and saying she loves me, so that's why I did not ask her yet. Im just afraid that I ruin everything if i do so, so I kept quite, and last night she said she had a dream that she was with someone very romantically whole night and said she was not able to see his face, now Im really worried, although I did not stress more on her dream she had. I was sad but i did not show her or tell her that. But today she said she is been missing me a lot and said 3 times that she loves me. so Im confused and worried.
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