Hard2Think Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 What happened to the posts by Zathrus and Mz. Pixie? I was getting ready to respond and I got an error a while back. I thought it was a fluke til I got home. Is this a board burp, or was it censorship? If this was censorship, I'll have to stop posting here. I've been spit at, kicked, puked on and had feces thrown at me by people here and I never complained. So what could justify this? If I missed a post of his that was really bad, then forgive me. I may have missed something.
Author Romeo Must Die Posted January 26, 2007 Author Posted January 26, 2007 I never complained either. From what I can see, their posts have been removed. Nobody is telling you to stop posting. I've also been spit at, kicked, puked on and had feces thrown at me by people here too, but that is pretty normal around here. lol
Scrivdog Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 Unbelievable. This is what happens when the Oprah crowd starts losing an argument. What happened to the posts by Zathrus and Mz. Pixie? I was getting ready to respond and I got an error a while back. I thought it was a fluke til I got home. Is this a board burp, or was it censorship? If this was censorship, I'll have to stop posting here. I've been spit at, kicked, puked on and had feces thrown at me by people here and I never complained. So what could justify this? If I missed a post of his that was really bad, then forgive me. I may have missed something.
Flyin in Clouds Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 What happened to the posts by Zathrus and Mz. Pixie? I was getting ready to respond and I got an error a while back. I thought it was a fluke til I got home. Is this a board burp, or was it censorship? If this was censorship, I'll have to stop posting here. I've been spit at, kicked, puked on and had feces thrown at me by people here and I never complained. So what could justify this? If I missed a post of his that was really bad, then forgive me. I may have missed something. Zathrus got banned. It personal attack upon RMD, which was uncalled for and over the line, had nothing to do with his points, is probably what tipped the forum owners to remove him. I too disagree with "censorship", they like to call it moderating, but then it's their press and their freedom to edit the content. I do wish that when I cross over the line, as I have from time to time that I would be given the chance to edit in a an apology for my slip ups. Oh well...
Flyin in Clouds Posted January 30, 2007 Posted January 30, 2007 I agree with you that this is the case for some WS. But not for all. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say this is the exception rather than the rule. LJ, the very act of cheating is narcissistic (selfish). The exception are wives like 2long's that cheated on him as a favor to him. (To which he said... geez... if I remember the thread correctly). Sure there are folks who, for whatever reason... feel entitled to cheat. They might feel bad for other people who get hurt by their actions, but their own "happiness" is paramount to them. Casualties are just an unfortunate by-product of the "entitled" cheater serving himself. This kind of guy might talk a good talk... but the bottom line is ALWAYS self-gratification. Guy? Seems to be the same for the women that have cheated on the H's And truly, I think the 'entitled cheater' is more rare than what our psycho-babble-proned society gives credence to. I'm not talking about women now, but rather men... and honestly, I think cheating is a pothole which can trip up almost any "average joe". These days, I think a guy needs to have a pretty strong religious or morality-based center in order to keep that from happening. Guy? average joe? Seems to me plenty of average Janes are tripping over that same pothole. And why not. Women are now taught they have all the same rights and privilege of any low down rotten man. Bottom line... the male brain works differently than ours. Yes it does. We (men and women) are not the same, physically, emotionally, or mentally. And that's a good thing. I wouldn't have any interest in women if they were the same as men, emotionally or mentally. Viva la difference!!! What that means essentially is that a man literally CANNOT process emotional information as fast as we do. Yeah, yeah, yeah... and women (in general) don't have the same spacial processing abilities men do. They don't have the same sense of direction men do. The "average joe" when confronted with wife's request can react in the EXACT same way as the "PA guy". He's likely to be thinking... "Jesus.. why can't I just sit here minding my own business without her being all up my ass all the time. Couldn't she have looked at that later? God I'm starvin'. I don't smell any dinner started either. I bet I'm going to end up doing the f*cking cooking again tonight. Why is it that nothing I ever do makes her f*cking happy? This sucks." That's the problem. Unlike a woman he isn't thinking anything. Since woman are always thinking about something they assume men are too. Most often we aren't. Most often we're just half asleep waiting for a naked woman to walk by so we can grab her... These days more often than not, the wife's tired and hungry too. Yeah, and that is why we often order pizza or chinese take out (or go out to eat, Mexican, Indian or Thia or Japanese or ...) Both of us can cook. Often we choose not to. No big deal. We both need to lose weight anyway... He feels bad that he WANTS her to fix him some dinner. But... it IS what it is. Dinner is what he really wants, and he can't ASK for it without feeling like he's treating his mate like a Stepford Wife. Yeah, thanks feminazis. How dare we ask a woman to cook. How insulting. Frankly I think a guy that doesn't learn to cook is in real danger of starving to death if he pisses off his wife (or mother). I cook meals for my wife because I did that when we were dating, before we were married. I did it to impress her and to be frank to get into her pants afterward. And it worked too! These guys literally don't know how to please us. And worse, they're "hard-wired" to feel responsible for our unhappiness. It's a recipe for frustration. Men don't understand venting. We try to solve problems. Present us with a problem and we'll start trying to fix something. In that example, one little expression of interest in his well-being and a little time to sort out the information... would have put out the fire BEFORE escalation could occur. I know it was just an exampel, but the way we solve the computer problem is we each have our own. (She PC, me Mac... ) and we end up emailing each other stuff even though we are literally sitting next to each other watching some drivel on the boob tube. Now, is it fair that we women are the ones who are required to put ourselves out? ... No. Absolutely not. But life ain't always fair, and WE are the ones God gave the tools to. Yeah, that fits well with the feminist "women are superior to and don't really need men" theory. But see God gave us a tool too.... :lmao::lmao: and you know you need it. A man is what he is. Just like a dog is a dog, a cat is a cat, a fish is a fish, and a bird is a bird. We don't buy a dog... and then treat him like a cat. We'll end up with a bad dog if we do. A woman is just what she is. hmmm... dare I say it? ... I know I'll get shot down but ... a woman is just a pretty face and that's all a guy really cares about if you listen to some of the more neurotic women on here. But the Lord didn't see fit to grace him with a wife that'll do his ironing for him unless his arm is literally BROKEN. Hmmm... here's a suggestion. Take the shirts to a cleaners. They'll iron them for you. You just have to remember to pick them up. That PA/Narcissim gets downplayed pretty often, but your arrogance is profound. Oh, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? How come you can insult H2T but I can't? There's no reason NOT to believe that there were legitimate problems in the marriage previous to the infidelity.... or to believe that the betrayed spouse had no hand in them. Not that I'm blaming the wife for H2T's conscious decision to cheat. But we can't pin ALL the pre-affair issues exclusively on him either. Well, in a way we can put all the blame on him or all the blame on his wife. See either one could have turned the relationship around. Neither choose to do so. It takes years, not a few months to overcome the issues rooted in infidelity. If it can ever be overcome. What all of these people have in common is that the significant people in their life become very, very angry at their resistant behavior. The negative energy in the relationship boomerangs from one partner to the other resulting in an unhappy relationship. Is that what happens when women refuse to have sex? The so-called sexless marriage debate? Are women being passive aggressive? He dodges responsibility while insisting he's pulling his weight. He procrastinates, takes on big projects but doesn't finish them then feels put upon or hostile if someone else tries to finish it. He often ignores reality as to his irresponsibility and withdrawal. He denies evidence, distorts minimalizes or lies to make his version of reality seem logical. So if a woman refuses to cook or clean or be the maid is she being passive aggressive? Or just a feminists? Oh, wait, are all feminists just being passive aggressive. hmmm... So now a man is reduce to just being a handyman for the woman of the house and nothing more. Of course the housewife will occasionally have sex with the handyman, if the handyman someone other than her husband... He sulks and uses silence when confronted about his inability to live up to his promises, obligations or responsibilities. And just what are those? How about this. I promise to do nothing, then you won't be disappointed. I'd like to know the female side of this. What are the woman's promises, obligations and responsibilities? The man with this type of pattern shows little consideration of the time, feelings, standards or needs of others.And so like when a woman ignores the sexual intimacy needs of her H is she being PA? The rest of the PA crap is I'm afraid just crap. What "compromise" does the woman make? Eh? I know women that think it is a badge of honor to not know how to cook a decent meal. Try reading the whole PA article but substitute she for he... reads better than way.... LOL..... The passive aggressive man lives an internal loneliness; Where does the passive aggressive woman live? While I think H2T has his problems, this whole PA diatribe against men seems like just more feminazi rubbish. he wants to be with the woman but stays confused whether she is the right partner for him or not.Like take that little gem. Do you think it ever crosses a man's (or woman's) mind, after many years of marriage to wonder if their SO is really the right one or not? He is scared and insecure causing him to seek contact with a partner but scared and insecure to fully commit. You know why a lot of men don't want to fully commit? Because they are tired of being burned by the heartless bitches in the world (look up the web site...). You want a man to fully commit to you? You better be ready to fully commit to him, body and soul. You want all of him. He wants all of you. He feels rejected and hurt when things don't go his way but can't distinguish between feeling rejected and being rejected. And women don't? And what's the difference between being rejected and feeling it? I may be alot of things, but even my wife would certainly not think I'm abusive. H2T this is where you just aren't getting it. An A is about the most abusive thing you could do to your wife short of beating her physically. And she may have preferred that to being cheated on. And yet you'll say you aren't abusive. You've caused your wife a whole lot of pain and suffering. Is that not abusive? What compromise is being asked of me? What am I supposed to do? What is being asked of me? Do you know? If so, then you are a genius - because I sure don't know! It's not a compromise really. What are you supposed to do? Love your wife as you love your self. Well more than that. Love her with all your heart and soul. Maybe you can explain what loving your wife means, from your POV. There's NO EXCUSE good enough for cheating, true enough. But... when a BS chooses reconcilliation, s/he MUST also choose to be proactive in getting it accomplished. We can't tell a FWS we want to stay together and then REFUSE to look at what we, ourselves, brought to the table which might have contributed to the pre-affair dynamic. ? There is no excuse for the cheating but the BS has to look at what they did to "cause", i.e. give an excuse for, the cheating? That makes NO sense at all. A lot of times the WS cheats because of things the BS can not change. If they decide to stay together, then each as to accept the other as they are without demanding fundamental changes. If a man cheats because his wife isn't very interested in sex with him is she all of a sudden going to become a porn star sex goddess in the bedroom? God do I wish. So I was shocked to find out that he was just as unhappy as I was. It is rather hard to communicate honestly in a relationship. I think because we don't really want to hurt the other person. We honestly want to spare them any hurt feelings. I don't want to hurt my wife by being brutally honest with her about things she does that upset me. It's hard to be honest when you don't want to be cruel or mean or the least bit hurtful. I have no empathy for you, just for your BW. Why she would want a WS like you to stick around I have no clue. Ditto. my sympathy is for the BW. No matter how bad the marriage was it was no excuse for the As. It might have been a reason to end it with a divorce, but As won't improve it. "What a relief it is that she is gone" you said. Bite me. You filthy swine. Now, now RMD mustn't violate the rules here. Let's not get into name calling and personal attacks. (Sorry I'm just a little bitter because the women all seem to get away with it, while I don't. I get warnings and posting privileges revoked). Maybe you just hate women. Well, see I've got this love hate thing going. I love 'em but I hate 'em. Women at the same time are the most wonderful creation in all the universe and the most painful, ego crushing, ball busting, pain in the royal ass... Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. What a terrible predicament. Let's put all the pychobabble aside for a second and put this in nice, clear language. Here it is: Ignore your spouse's needs at your peril. Well looks like old Zathrus go himself banned. But this part of his post is true. Ignore you spouse's needs at your peril. Just because you are married is no reason to be lazy or care less. Some put respect over sexual needs it was that important. In a Christian marriage a man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church, but a woman is to give her husband respect. Not that anyone actually reads the Bible anymore... or pays attention to it. Thats my opinion anyway. I dont hear where Daddy made mistakes too. Its daddys fault. Daddy did a very bad thing. Give poor mom a break already, geez. H2T what are all the bad things you've done in our marriage. Let's here them. A little confession is good for the soul. You've said you aren't perfect, so let's hear what all those flaws are. We know the big one, the As. What else might you wife complain about you?
NoIDidn't Posted January 31, 2007 Posted January 31, 2007 Unbelievable. This is what happens when the Oprah crowd starts losing an argument. Hey scriv, the good Dr. has had his own show for years now. Is insulting people for having opinions that differ from yours part of your services too?
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