Salicious Crumb Posted February 1, 2007 Posted February 1, 2007 salicious crumb people can cheat anywhere and not get caught..i know a guy who cheated on his g/f and she lived like 2 blocks away!! and she never found out..i can be cheating on my b/f this second and chances are--he isnt going to find out. then by all means....let him go on this trip and don't complain about it. Greet him with open arms when he gets back.
Author rose45 Posted February 2, 2007 Author Posted February 2, 2007 Joe's search so you dont think its right for him to go to this without me?
puddleofmud Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 I have never posted in areas on LS other then in the forum I recently joined but this post was pointed out to be by a local friend. I am from South Dakota and do travel via my own as in the "bitch rides her own!" to various rallies including MB Bike Week. I am a grandmother, have a master's degree and travel with other women my age, as well as couples with their children and singles. Rallies are not a sleeze fest! Yes, there are opportunities at any gatherings that occur in the hundreds of thousands where one could be sleazy...which is more sensationalized by the press than any "family fun". You absolutely should fly down to Myrtle Beach and enjoy yourself! We rent a house in Cherry Grove which is very beautiful and the sea food is great! There are a lot of outlet malls for shopping too! You would have a lot of fun so give it a chance!
Author rose45 Posted February 3, 2007 Author Posted February 3, 2007 Pudd, i appreciate your advice but my whole thing is he doesnt seem to want me there..which is why i am debating about pushing the topic saying i want to fly down.
justagirliegirl Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 I wonder how he would like it if you went to some week long event where a bunch of naked men were parading around? I think it would be funny if you went and paraded around naked and did mud wrestling and stuff.
Salicious Crumb Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 I wonder how he would like it if you went to some week long event where a bunch of naked men were parading around? I think it would be funny if you went and paraded around naked and did mud wrestling and stuff. Exactly...maybe rose should plan a trip to Mardi Gras with a group of other women and tell him she doesn't want him going. Then watch steam roll off his head. Thats what I'd do if I were a woman and I was rose. Whats good for the goose......
Author rose45 Posted February 3, 2007 Author Posted February 3, 2007 hey well i just dont know when to bring it up..he says we fight a lot so maybe i should try to be peaceful for awhile and then bring it up...
lorr Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 After seeing the pictures, no wonder he doesn't want you to go!!!
Salicious Crumb Posted February 3, 2007 Posted February 3, 2007 After seeing the pictures, no wonder he doesn't want you to go!!! Thats what I have been saying all along!!
Author rose45 Posted February 3, 2007 Author Posted February 3, 2007 so you think i should bring it up in like a month or two..which would mean like 2 months without fighting and bring up that i think i should be able to go...
lorr Posted February 4, 2007 Posted February 4, 2007 Its down to you! But if I was in the same predicament I would be voicing my concerns and bringing this up from now.
Author rose45 Posted February 5, 2007 Author Posted February 5, 2007 i guess i should bring it up when we havent been fighting for awhile..like hopefully we can go 2 months without arguing about anything and i can bring this up
Limerent Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 then by all means....let him go on this trip and don't complain about it. Greet him with open arms when he gets back. Salicious, Now you understand exactly why I gave the type of advice I gave. She doesnt think he is going down there to cheat on him, she trusts him, so that obviously isnt the issue here. The issue is her insecurities. if you look online and type in pictures of bike rallys for sturgis or daytona or myrtle beach--you will eventually come across these very hot women who work there and also women who walk around in bikini tops etc etc and pretty much close to nothing. Note the bolded part. Meaning she did alot of digging before she eventually came to the spot with the "very hot women" ...It is obvious to me that she was obsessing quite a bit and I am sure that this isnt the first time she has obsessed and looked for problems every time he wanted to be away from her. Of course, I could be wrong, and if so, I apologize, but I have to wonder if perhaps this behaviour is indicative of other obsessive behaviours such as checking his cell phone or the bills, calling numbers back, driving by or calling his work to see if he is working, and other methods of covert tactics designed to "prove" or "catch" him in the act... but for what reason? Just to say "I caught you? I knew it all along"? So then, the question remains not "why doesnt he want her to go"...but "why does she want to go"....I think everyone (including her, if she were to be 100% honest with herself) knows why he doesnt want her to go. Rose, I am wondering if perhaps you are looking for a way out. Are you trying to catch him on something, anything, just to end it with him, because he is torturing you emotionally, but you want it to be his fault? So you could leave, knowing your side of the street is clean?
Salicious Crumb Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 Salicious, Now you understand exactly why I gave the type of advice I gave. She doesnt think he is going down there to cheat on him, she trusts him, so that obviously isnt the issue here. The issue is her insecurities. Nah. I think she knows he is going to cheat, she just doesn't want to believe it and is in denial. Look at the facts....naked women everywhere, boyfriend doesn't want her anywhere in sight.....hmmmmm. Any fool can see what is going on here. Even if there weren't hedonistic activities going on down there and he wasn't going to be cheating...the fact that he adamantly does not want her to go shows that he just thinks she is a thorn in his side....so why is he with her?
Author rose45 Posted February 5, 2007 Author Posted February 5, 2007 Salicious cRUMB While some others even agree with me that I should be concerned...your advice sounds as if you are mad about something in your own life..telling me that you are 100% sure he is going cheat...so then all the other guys who are married or have g/f's--if they go without them..they are going to cheat as well? I really dont know if this means he will cheat..but i get the feeling that if he is cheating if he goes down there..then he would cheat here too or unless he is the type of person who only randomly cheats and thus never gets caught. All i know for sure is that i cant get bring this up for awhile b/c we got into stupid fights lately.
Salicious Crumb Posted February 5, 2007 Posted February 5, 2007 Salicious cRUMB While some others even agree with me that I should be concerned...your advice sounds as if you are mad about something in your own life..telling me that you are 100% sure he is going cheat Its called experience and common sense. but hey, if you don't think he will cheat...then whats the problem?? ...so then all the other guys who are married or have g/f's--if they go without them..they are going to cheat as well?I already told you...it depends....do the other husbands get upset if the wives ask to go with? He is getting upset, based on your description, because he doesn't WANT you to go. Why doesn't he want you to go?..because its not your "cup of tea"??? I really dont know if this means he will cheat..but i get the feeling that if he is cheating if he goes down there..then he would cheat here too or unless he is the type of person who only randomly cheats and thus never gets caught. All i know for sure is that i cant get bring this up for awhile b/c we got into stupid fights lately.Then by all means....don't take my word for it. Drop it as an issue with him...let him go...quit badgering him about it and greet him with open arms when he gets back. I mean really...if you don't think he is going to cheat, and I am sooooo way off base here, then whats the problem?? Why are you here?
Author rose45 Posted February 6, 2007 Author Posted February 6, 2007 I guess i just dont get a great vibe from your posts but maybe its just me. No i am not ok with it..what i am thinking of doing is bringing it up..not right now but soon and ask and then if he says no..i am thinking of showing him the pics....
Salicious Crumb Posted February 6, 2007 Posted February 6, 2007 I guess i just dont get a great vibe from your posts but maybe its just me. No i am not ok with it..what i am thinking of doing is bringing it up..not right now but soon and ask and then if he says no..i am thinking of showing him the pics.... What good is showing him the pics going to do if you already have it set in your mind that you don't think he will cheat?
Guest Posted February 7, 2007 Posted February 7, 2007 Salicious Crumb, your comments are extremely bitter and don't seem to be very helpful. You obviously have trust issues in your own life. But there's no need to be so negative in your comments to the poster. How can you say that he's going down there to cheat on her? Or calling him an a**hole for not paying out $1000 for her to fly down. He obviously wants to have a week away with the guys. And what's wrong with that? I think it's very important and healthy in a relationship to have some time apart with your friends. I go away with my friends for a holiday once a year and we go out and have a good time at clubs and there will always be sleazy men who will try to pick us up. But i'm not interested and my husband trusts me. And the same for him. He will do things with his friends without me and i'm not always happy with the situation, but if he really wants to go then i just have to trust him as it's not my right to tell him what he can and cannot do. My husband recently went on a bucks night to a local strip club and i wasn't very comfortable with it. But i accepted the situation and put my trust in him. Rose, I can understand your concern after seeing the pictures but as you said in one of your posts; If he's going to cheat there, then he's going to cheat anywhere. So it really would make no difference whether he went with or without you. And if you've had no reason to doubt his fidelity before, than you shouldn't now. You said he's reassured you that he's not going there for that. So maybe you're just going to have to put your trust in him and let this one slide if you value your relationship. It would really offend me if my husband said he was coming along on one of my girlie trips with my friends because he didn't trust me. It would make me feel awful and very disrespected. It's obviously very important to him going on this trip and it sounds like it is just about the motorbikes and male bonding. It's unfortunate that there has to be such sleaze at the event. But I think in this situation if you value your relationship you're just going to have to trust him. And I suggest planning a week away with your friends instead. It'll be a good distraction and maybe take your mind off any negative thoughts that you have. I hope this has been of help to you.
sungrl Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Do you think this can be compared to a spring break in miami or something? It involves drinking and women obviously acting pervocative..and my b.f wouldnt feel comfortable if i did something like that..went away particularly for a college type spring break and was at a clubs for a week. Its so hard for me not to bring this up b/c i feel he is going to justify it and say its not the same thing..but i really dont see what the difference is except for the bikes.
Salicious Crumb Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 so you think i should bring it up in like a month or two..which would mean like 2 months without fighting and bring up that i think i should be able to go... No, you have already tried your damdest to convince yourself, and tell me I'm wrong, that he isn't going to be cheating. So if you really don't think he is cheating...then whats the problem with him going?
Salicious Crumb Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Salicious Crumb, your comments are extremely bitter and don't seem to be very helpful. I told her based on experience what I thought...and then she tried to say I am wrong...well if I'm wrong...and she doesn't think he will be cheating...then why the hell is this a problem and why is she bringing it up? Once again, her bf ADAMANTLY does not want her to go with him on this trip...why do you think that is? He even insinuated she isn't worth the money to spend on taking her. Or did that just totally go over your head.....Guest.
sungrl Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Salicious your posts are very bitter, i agree with the guest..and this doesnt point blank only have to do with cheating..its more of a question of is it right to go to such an event without your s/o..and a person can cheat anywhere but i also am not naive..alcohol hinders your judgement although i have been drunk before and had the opportunity to cheat and just didnt want to b/c i thought of my b/f. I dont think it directly means he is telling me this so he can cheat although anything can happen. Also--why would he have to pay for me? he spent $800 on our last vacation. I didnt pay for anything
Salicious Crumb Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Salicious your posts are very bitter, i agree with the guest..and this doesnt point blank only have to do with cheating..its more of a question of is it right to go to such an event without your s/o..and a person can cheat anywhere but i also am not naive..alcohol hinders your judgement although i have been drunk before and had the opportunity to cheat and just didnt want to b/c i thought of my b/f. I dont think it directly means he is telling me this so he can cheat although anything can happen. Also--why would he have to pay for me? he spent $800 on our last vacation. I didnt pay for anything I don't know why YOUR bf would have to pay for you...you are not the issue of discussion. HER bf, on the other hand, based on her own words said she is not worth spending the money on. But really...if its not about cheating...then by your logic, the bf has to take her....just because. And she already admitted that she does not want to go....so why the hell is it even an issue with her? So the question is....why does she want to bring this up as an issue with her bf if she doesn't really want to go in the first place, AND she doesn't think he'll cheat? Is she just wanting to bust his balls about something for the sake of argument? Or is there a real reason?
milvushina Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 So the question is....why does she want to bring this up as an issue with her bf if she doesn't really want to go in the first place, AND she doesn't think he'll cheat? I can see why people think S.C. is being a little abrasive with his choice of words, but he has asked a good question and has not gotten an answer. I believe the poster when she says she doesn't think her boyfriend will be cheating. So.....if he's not going to be cheating, and you're not into bikes, why DO you want to go? I really love camping.. I know that if I was going on a challenging camping trip, and my husband was not really, really into camping, I wouldn't want him to go. It sounds like your boyfriend is going on a really challenging trip, and doesn't want you to go because you're not a dedicated biker and you wouldn't like it. It's kind of impossible to enjoy yourself in a situation like that when you're responsible for someone else, someone who is having a hard time because they are neither experienced nor enjoying themselves. Have you thought about it from that perspective? I think you've latched onto something (pretty bikini girls) that is NOT the main feature in his eyes. You've latched onto it because it hit a nerve with you. You don't think he will cheat, but you want to be there because with you there he won't look more than you think he should. Or something like that. That's my guess.
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