heatseeker411 Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I am fortunate enough to have a beautiful, wonderful girlfriend who is completely loyal to me. We have been dating for three months now. But in spite of everything I like about her, I know that I will never be able to love her, even though I would like to. The girl I was dating before her was selfish, inconsiderate and a substance abuser. We didn't work then, and we won't work now. I accept that. But for all six months of our relationship, I was in love with her. There was fire in our kisses, and every time I looked at her I felt like I was just the luckiest guy alive. I haven't felt that way since I started dating my current girlfriend and it has me questioning our otherwise-healthy relationship. Now there is another girl in the picture. The only thing I know about her is that she is seeing someone, but I find myself wanting to get to know her better. I feel like she and I have strong a connection. When I'm looking at her, neither of our significant others come to mind. All I can focus on is my own increased heartrate. I find myself wondering if I would find that old fire again if I kissed her. Of course, I realize that this is not fair to my current girlfriend, who has been nothing but wonderful to me, and I don't know if I would feel right about testing the waters with someone else if she was still in the picture. But if I were to break up with her, I would hurt her feelings, and somehow that seems like one of the worst things I could do in the world. Also, my instincts have been wrong before. I could end up regretting the decision, because the girl I am with is very special. We've been friends for a long time beforehand, and I really do care about her. What do you think I should I do? Should I take a chance on this?
ShoeGirl Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 You have two choices 1- Break up with your girlfriend so you can see how things go with this other girl (who has a boyfriend so keep that in mind) 2- Don't break up with your girlfriend and don't "test the waters" Be fair to your girlfriend who has been so wonderful to you, don't go and cheat on her! I don't know what to tell you about your feelings for your gf, if you don't love her and you know you never will then why are you still with her?
crazy_grl Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Well, I'm of the belief that stable, less-firey relationships built on mutual respect and admiration are alot more worthwhile than the ones based on that firey feeling. I think those instant sparks come from realizing that the person can fill a (usually unhealthy) "need", and are more likely to end up in chaotic and unhealthy relationships. That's just my theory. If I were you, I'd stay with my current SO. I think you're taking her for granted because she's so good to you. Ask yourself this (and be brutally honest): If you current gf were more selfish, treated you like your ex, and provided that same type of chaos, would you feel the same passion for her as you did your ex? If the answer could be yes, you need to work on your self-esteem and possibly other issues. Whatever you do, DO NOT cheat on your gf.
Mary3 Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I am sure your gf is nice wonder sweet and BORING to you. You want the excitement of the previous gf. I don't recommend cheating. You need to tell her that you need some time alone and are not sure if you want to continue the relationship but you need to seperate. Your other choice is to say nothing , stay with the loving girl , hope it improves and count your blessings
JCD Posted January 26, 2007 Posted January 26, 2007 Stay with your nice girlfriend and forget these drama girls. Infatuation sucks. Really, do you want sex over companionship? I wouldn't, especially as you get older the sex subsidizes and companionship gains more importance. Consider yourself lucky if you g/f makes you stable. You don't need the drama. Maybe you have some issues that make you seek drama for whatever reason. Fix it.
Lauriebell82 Posted January 27, 2007 Posted January 27, 2007 i agree with everyone else, u want more excitment in a relationship. and most often when the relationship is healthy and stable, its not fiery because its not total chaos. DONT CHEAT ON UR GF. the only reason u probably even want to be with this other girl is perhaps that she has a bf so she's off limits. u'd be hurting a number of people if ur little "test" got carried out so i recommend not doing it. now look deep down inside urself, could u really never fall head over heels for ur gf? u might still just be protecting urself from heartache by claiming that there isnt any excitement. it might just be ur pysche's way of rationalizing getting out of the relationship. my advice: dont cheat whatever u do, BUT really think about what ur current gf means to u. its not fair to lead her on if u doubt having feelings for her. i do recommend staying with ur gf and seeing what happens. forget about the other girl.
Recommended Posts