Karma24 Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Disclaimer: Yes, I know that women cheat too and there are some horrible women out there. P.O.'d at my husband, that is. I've been reading around LS and see so many posts about men who cheat because of the lack of affection and especially lack of sex from their wives. It makes me wonder where I went wrong with my current husband. I am always receptive to his affection and try to give him affection (when he will let me, anyway). I have always been a very sexual and sensual person. Any day, any time of day...bring it on. H and I usually have sex 5-7 days a week, sometimes twice a day. I have always been multi-orgasmic. In fact, just last night I had an O that lasted at least a minute. I am extremely attracted to my husband. In fact, I have never been so attracted to a man in my life. He knows this because I tell him. But he is a cocky bastard and knows it anyway Sex with him is not out of obligation. I purely enjoy it. This is not an issue where I feel I owe him sex because he is just such a stellar provider. As a matter of fact, I make more money than him, work only two days a week, have the house soley in my name and last year I bought myself a BMW. Now, if for whatever reason we weren't together yes I would still be able to afford this. Money would be tight if I were on my own, but not impossible. I am a good mother, attractive, intelligent, educated, I love to cook and keep a clean house. I don't smoke (though I used to), I drink socially and I don't do drugs. So I hear about all these supposed women out there who aren't interested in sex or don't enjoy it or whatever, and I think to myself-am I the exception to the rule? What is really going on here? Why did my jackass of a husband feel like he needed to see if other chicks were interested in him??
norajane Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Why did my jackass of a husband feel like he needed to see if other chicks were interested in him?? Because he is selfish and self-centered? Because he places his need to feel admired by other women above loyalty to his wife? Because he wanted to see if he "still got it"? Because he doesn't understand a marriage is a team sport and he is still choosing to suit himself? I'm sorry, sweets.
Woggle Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 If he didn't cheat on you and treated you right you probably would left him or cheated on him by now.
JamesM Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 If he didn't cheat on you and treated you right you probably would left him or cheated on him by now. Thank you for that wise insight...not. I would say totally uncalled for. Please don't let your love of women shine though too much. Karma. it is hard to say why a man would cheat if all of those things you said are fact. Not saying they are not. It may simply have nothing to do with you. Do you consider yourself always pleasing him without any recognition? Would you consider yourself a doormat around him? Some men lose interest when no challenge is around. Truthfully, he probably has low self esteem and needs the admiration of many women to make him feel like a man. No woman can keep that kind of man happy.
norajane Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 If he didn't cheat on you and treated you right you probably would left him or cheated on him by now. Our resident misogynist has spoken.
Author Karma24 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Posted January 25, 2007 If he didn't cheat on you and treated you right you probably would left him or cheated on him by now. Maybe I'm just tired, but I can't seem to make sense out of this post. Will you please re-word it or something?
Romeo Must Die Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Cheating is not about you. It's about him. Like James said it's about self esteem. The phone calls to/from other women (wether he is cheating or not) is inappropriate and to me, its a red flag you should not ignore, nor do I think it will stop overnight. Many BW like myself have had healthy, active sex lives with the WS before and during the affairs. It just makes me sick to think about it. Why? Nobody knows the answer to that. Needs vs. Wants I guess. IE I need my wife, but I want sex with teen hotties. Then they resolve to do it and find justifications for it later. I know you are married to husband #2, but since you said you were more compatible with husband #1, I'm wondering if you still have unresolved feelings for husband #1? I was also wondering if you ever thought about reconcilling with husband#1? Thats why I asked if he gets out of the military, do you think he would be a good person to reconcille & settle down with? You do have a child together and maybe time may have changed things. Second chances and all.
Author Karma24 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Posted January 25, 2007 On an emotional level, I am definitely more compatible with H#1. I still care for him very much. I have no physical attraction to him though. When we were together, just his (how do I say this?) scent (pheremones?) that we all have was so nauseating to me. I couldn't stand the way he smelled, the way he kissed, ecch. Now H#2 and I are physically compatible (obviously). If I combined them, I would have the perfect man. Herein lies the problem... I have thought of going back to H#1 but it won't work because: 1) it didn't in the first place, and 2) I now have a child by H#2. Also, 3) I wouldn't want to get back with H#1, get our son's hopes up only to split again.
Crimson107 Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 Hard to say why. I am still trying to understand my fall. I really love and adore my wife. She is not the most affectionate and my affair only made it worse. The affair just brings more of my man short comings. It was a dumb temptation. My wife moved a way and I found my convience to accept a woman's desire over my wifes real need for me to get the house back in order and come be with the family. I rather found the wrpng distraction. If he is sorry like me I hope you can give him another try. I hate being tainted with it. Human nature is a MF. Good luck. Hope you keep enjoying the sex and can figure out how to find the happiness you want.
Author Karma24 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Posted January 25, 2007 Human nature is a MF. Ha ha! Ain't that the truth? I should get that tattooed on my body somewhere...
Romeo Must Die Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 I know you feel bad about checking up on him but you should be vigilant about this. Have you been checking his cell phone bills and keeping track of the calls? Are there numerous calls to the same person or number? Does he make/receive the calls or text messages when you are not around? Some guys just have EA's with women too, not just the PA. They dont consider that crossing the line but it sets the stage for infidelity. Remember it is not about the sex (or lack thereof) at home. WS claim that is the case, but in our situations, it wasnt. I guess until you can proove it for sure, you'll just have to wait and see. I would be more stealth about my checking up on him. I wouldnt confront him about this again until I had a reason to, if I were you. I'm sorry your husband #1 turned out to be a stinker and you weren't compatible physically. It seemed like he were more reliable to you emotionally and that is important too. I was hoping you would have him to turn to in case husband #2 is cheating and it doesn't work out. PS I just got my first tattoo a few weeks ago. It's posted on this website (at the bottom) as Butterfly Girl. It's the same one as my avitar. http://www.bmezine.com/tattoo/butt001.html
Mz. Pixie Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 It's about that one need-whatever it is that he feels you're not meeting. You mentioned something about PVC boots earlier????
Madeamistake Posted January 25, 2007 Posted January 25, 2007 You mentioned something about PVC boots earlier???? Lol. You say he's cocky. Dont you think that you should have gone for a confident rather than cocky man, not that Im putting you down or anything. I think the reason for him stepping out was to feed his ego , as he may perhaps feel inadequate due to several factors. Look at it this way, you earn more but work less, you bought yourself a beemer, et cetera. Cocky men dont like that in a woman. Confident men do. Idk.
Recommended Posts